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I knew she seemed familiar.

Altogether now: PORK MARKETS!!!

That’s just at the conference

I don't think where they are really comes into the thinking. It's purely what they imagine would be worst for us. Honestly, in the unlikely even they were relegated this season, Exile and his ilk wouldn't shed a tear as long as Isak turns out to be a flop, or Bruno breaks his leg.

CT's penis is.

You have to hand it to Owen. Just when I thought I couldn’t like him any less, he manages to scrape through the bottom of the barrel and keep going

Yeah well, that’s just, like, your opinion man. Bruno will fuck you up, like this…

Patel is top of my hate fuck wish list by quite some distance. Mrs S nearly threw me out the house when I mentioned it earlier

Who do you think I am? Rayvin?! It's the most fucking absurd slogan I've ever heard. Recalibrate your sarcasm monitor btw cos IT IS FUCKED.

Bob Moncur reckons Shearer told him that Owen refused to come on as sub in his final match for us v Villa. I’ve heard it from a few different people and it completely lines up with his way of thinking, ie protect his signing on fee for his next free transfer at all costs

Liz Truss was wrong when she claimed in her conference speech that she was the first prime minister to have gone to a comprehensive school. Gordon Brown went to a comprehensive secondary school (Kirkcaldy High School), while Theresa May’s school was converted in a comprehensive while she was a pupil there - Holton Park Girls’ Grammar School, in Oxfordshire, became Wheatley Park Comprehensive School in 1971, two years after May enrolled. The education secretary at the time was Margaret Thatcher.

I blame the comprehensive system

His voice and mannerisms have always reminded me of someone…

you absolutely love digging through the archive

I’m sure they’d get used to the higher standards of living in time.

I’ve been saying for years that it’s the lack of 2 for 1 offers on Freddos that have been holding this country back.

You know times are tough when they're scaling down plans for imaginary hospitals. Also, shout out to the guy in the background for his facial expression.

Gan on Ang!

I've tried to get to scan with "Park LIfe!" but doesn't work. Meanwhile, wee Nicola is on the ball here.

Can we stop using Trump unless in Yes, Gemmill?

He doesn't help himself......once or twice a year the Newcastle story re emerges and the little twat digs a bigger hole every time

Those protesters were only saying what the people were thinking.

Ive switched off now. It's just awkward to watch. Its like they made a robot of Thatcher but could only part finance it.

Mmmm, all this talk about pie is making me hungry. Or horny, in MF's case.

'Okay... and what would you describe as your biggest weakness?'

Love a bit of BBQ

Ages ago, I think it was the early days under SJH, when the club was skint. He offered some money to the board. Like £500k or something. A lot at the time anyway. I think it was a genuine offer but in exchange for a stake in the club and he was offered some honorary role instead, like ambassador or something. Or the most expensive season ticket in the world, as he put it

The second video underneath was pure comedy

Oh she’s definitely thicker.

She’s either more honest than Patel or just thicker, but their ideology is on par.

Watched a few minutes of it, turned it over to inter v Barcelona instead. Michael Owen, Rio and Mcmanaman.......?

The Tories are making the Russian army look competent tbh.

This is fine

reported

Nothing to see here. My jokes have been this bad since I started the thread

Patel having a go now. They all hate each other.

Another one gazumped!

They started sending him socks. First there was just one or two which he laughed off, but as the days turned to weeks they started mounting up. Initially Barnes tossed them in the back of the motor, a hire car as he'd totalled the Lexus whilst struggling with a ridiculously well-wrapped Nandos. It was a Mondeo "the best we can offer Mr Barnes", a top-of-the-range Vignale, but it felt like moving from silk sheets to polyester. Every time he clunked the door closed he winced. The socks now filled his back seats, the parcel shelf, half the boot and were competing with the junk-food ephemera for dominance in the front. He'd put out an appeal on twitter and "that ticktock" which had only made things worse. There were hundreds now, maybe thousands. At his office, arriving at home, tossed at him from the stands. It was like that old Star Trek episode, The Trouble with Tribbles. Still, he could turn this around, Alex will sell them on ebay - we will make this work, he resolved as he opened the Uber Eats app for the fifth time this morning.

Aye, be prepared for women in dungarees and men in sandals.