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My first wife had her period on our honeymoon. Not since Pearl Harbor has a Japanese flag seen so much action in Hawaii.

They started sending him socks. First there was just one or two which he laughed off, but as the days turned to weeks they started mounting up. Initially Barnes tossed them in the back of the motor, a hire car as he'd totalled the Lexus whilst struggling with a ridiculously well-wrapped Nandos. It was a Mondeo "the best we can offer Mr Barnes", a top-of-the-range Vignale, but it felt like moving from silk sheets to polyester. Every time he clunked the door closed he winced. The socks now filled his back seats, the parcel shelf, half the boot and were competing with the junk-food ephemera for dominance in the front. He'd put out an appeal on twitter and "that ticktock" which had only made things worse. There were hundreds now, maybe thousands. At his office, arriving at home, tossed at him from the stands. It was like that old Star Trek episode, The Trouble with Tribbles. Still, he could turn this around, Alex will sell them on ebay - we will make this work, he resolved as he opened the Uber Eats app for the fifth time this morning.

Fish's roof.....

reported

Thanks for that Gemmil 👍

You posted this exact same reply on the previous page.

My mistake he won it at Liverpool …. My memory is shot to fuck Dave, this is like you picking on the disabled 🥲

He follows my sister on twitter. Maybe her being only slightly less mental than him is having an effect.

Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too.

It’s at times like this I miss the IRA.

a few of them are paying the price for going too hard on day one. we've all been there

Skipped the Honeymoon, straight to decree nisi.

Aye, positively fucking honking.

delegates at the tory party conference

Was gonna say this. Mind, seven stories is another one of those insufferably middle class places. You might bump into the Fish.

Whilst that’s sublimely excellent, I’m slightly upset that he didn’t use Derek’s most famous line… ( yes I know it’s fake ).

Braverman is a liar. I'm shocked.

It’s an England Duvet Cover.

Is that why he let his contract rundown and why he subsequently played for their most hated rivals then? Fuck off, you boring little cunt

I’m not sure the people of Sunderland would notice any difference.

Looks like he is holding a pint of infected hypertonic piss so no thanks.

Anything that makes the media more hostile with these clowns is good news. Look forward to whoever Robinson is interviewing tomorrow morning.

I went to the open day at the kids school. They’ve got these whiteboards in every class. Remarkable.

I caught a bit of the radio Newcastle sports talk in driving home, usual shite but there was a couple of texts coming in from some pretty smug mackems about O'Neil not having a great start at Stoke. My smile hearing them read out was almost as big as I imagine theirs was in typing it out but for different reasons.

They’ve already demonstrated they aren’t investing in sport to see a profit returned (see the golf tour). But even if the owners were doing that with us then you would think it would cost more than £1B to make us worth that much anyway so what would be the point in that? Exile’s only interested in the human rights issues anyway though, isn’t he? The Rafa dig too. Even a busted flush version would be in a different stratosphere to anyone they could hope to attract

"Conservative Gov elected on basis of a manifesto, it’s how democracy works. " Excellent point Nadine. Like when Johnson kept his manifesto pledge not to raise national insurance, or his promise to keep the pensions triple lock, or his plans to build 40 new hospitals, or his assurances that no one would have to sell their home to pay for care costs, or the 0.7% of GDP promise to international aid. Yup, you can say what you like about Johnson but he was a man of his word.

Imagine how bad things are going to get when the honeymoon period is over.

And that's just in the Cluny, ship and Cumberland arms.

Extolling the hidden metaphorical meaning of "The Tiger who Came to Tea".

Aye, be prepared for women in dungarees and men in sandals.

Click into the thread to hear him work through the greatest hits. They were vying for the playoffs when he joined, now he's confident they can finish "better than 10th". Managed decline of another club. He's such a piece of shit.

What a great success it was not to sign Renan Lodi

makes you realise how clueless shepherd was too. signing a player whose heart clearly wasn't in it, on those ridiculous terms, just so he could parade a marquee signing in front of fans

So he reckons that after every 12 months his buy back from Liverpool went from 12m -> 8m -> 4m etc. They still didn't buy him. Most have been a slap in the face. A bit like assuming you're going to get back with the ex but she has remarried.

Harry Kane is the only Englishman to have more goal involvements than Maddison this season and he's playing in a club that has spent nearly all season in the relegation zone. What were the club thinking bidding £40m for him?

Not sure what age you’re after, but Seven Stories springs to mind, also the Discovery and The Great North Museum. This popped up, I haven’t looked at it because it’s the Chronicle and therefore shite, but it might be useful. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.chroniclelive.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/autism-friendly-places-north-east-11844724.amp

In 4k?

Blyth drew Wrexham. Ryan Reynolds now follows Blyth on Twitter

Sounds like something for pumpkins to worry about.