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"Y'knaa what it is, yi take the kid under your wings, show'im the ropes, rub his nose in the shit till he knaas the Geordie roar and then once he flies the nest he comes oot with this shite? Next time he pops his heed in Thomma hoose ahm ganna have a word in the real office and have his heed doon the bog, sort of flush some sense into him! Lol. NUFC reporters, man. Plenty of imitations but there's only one real McCoy. Laters, Ryder and fucking out."

Listen to Jenny Bond here

Found as I’ve got older I’ve got little to no time for other peoples opinion on football. Especially no marks who try to make a quick buck off the back off a podcast or something, they will say and try to justify the stupidest horseshit in an effort to generate engagements on whatever platform they are using. Talking with you degenerates about football is fine, but listening to some clueless cunt argue black is white just to cause controversy/“playing devils advocate” doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Absolutely, that is a fundamental right. You can indeed change your opinion. But not secretly, not when they've been so loud in opposition. Oh no, no. Then they have to apologise, and self flagellate until we're satisfied.

Real loyalty points......

The Ghillie in the boat with them last series when Paul caught a salmon at the junction pool in Kelso is an old mate, Gav

Visions of Craig sticking a fiver in the pub jukebox and putting the Cartoons' "Witch Doctor" on repeat until everyone cracks a smile.

Coming up with a mental list of Toontastic's cringiest moments there before. Remember the day after the EU Referendum when CT posted a video of him in his garden with the Black Eyed Peas "Where is the love?" playing, and he mimed the full thing. All parts. I think it was supposed to heal the board but iirc it only served to deepen divisions.

Right, that’s her planted. Great Escape prisoner Vyvyan Howard, dies aged 102 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-62924112 Valery Polyakov: Record-breaking Russian cosmonaut dies aged 80 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-62964177 Two buckets of note, kicked.

Bob it's not about being told, it's just the general people that moan about the ABC here are the same cunts that think a night watching Miami Vice the TV series is entertainment and that the 17c a day from their taxes that goes to help fund a public broadcaster is ripping them off. These are the same fuckwits that never question why their power bills are throught the roof because energy was deregulated or why politicians give themselves payrises every year while our wages go backward. For nature docos, read also the Young Ones or Father Ted or whatever niche program you do enjoy. And if you truely think Murdoch and the Tories have won, then you may as well give up now because if that's the world you are resigned to living in, you are fucked.

So many things that should have catastrophically destroyed the Windsor brand have happened, but yet the last 10 days. It's like the tories getting voted in time and time again, it defies any logic. Maybe we're just a nation hard wired to be sycophantic hoop lickers, I dunno, can never get my head around it. Maybe it will be different with Charles, who does not have the respet of the Queen, we'll see.

Again, I must insist that we refer to him with his proper title.

Craig, I heard the pub was bouncing til you walked in. That's just what I heard.

Anyway, thread title duly changed

Enforced happiness to follow the enforced misery.

I blame Corbyn.

It was reported earlier today on bbc news that the UK is not even close to arranging talks over any form of trade deal with the US. Liz Truss meanwhile is talking about ‘tearing up the Northern Ireland protocol’. I’m honestly beginning to wonder if she really is too stupid to join the dots

Celebrating Russians are we now? Why do you hate our country so much MF?

I'd be fine with setting up as we are, with inverted wingers, but, if it's not working, just swap their flanks. With two inverted wingers swapping sides, if nothing else it will unsettle the opposition. The opposition will have been training to expect both wingers to turn back and either play it off to the fullback, or take the shot. Swapping them means they've something else to think about. I'd also be ok with dropping one of them for Murphy who isn't as good technically as either of them, is willing to put a cross in on his stronger foot. He's also somehow able to get breakaways more than the other two. When ASM returns, I'd honestly keep him on the left and have Joelinton operate on that side of a midfield 4. That gives the flank height, bite and... I dunno, 'might'? Play Isak on the right of a forward pair. So it's kind of a mix between 4-4-2 and 4-3-3. Joelinton's job is to break up play and link with the other midifeld, if he can carry the ball forward and under/overlap ASM, great, if not provide that cover. Bruno and Willock still have some defensive responsibilities, but more license to attack. Bruno should have more freedom to find runners and thread those through-balls, especially the balls behind when we get an overload on the flanks. Isak and ASM will come deeper to pick up the ball and run with it, or link with overlapping fullbacks, Bruno or Willock. Wilson will stay up top, stretching the gap between the lines and forcing the CB/FB to choose between staying closer to him, or pushing out to close down ASM/Isak Obviously when Maddison joins he'd take Willock's place.

Like you'd be able to tell with that much inbreeding.

Waugh reckons the VAR decision v Bournemouth shouldn't have been a penalty. At this stage, The Athletic probably needs to sack him.

Can I just correct this way of thinking, as someone who works in TV production. Yes these shows are often produced by outside production companies but they are commissioned by networks like the BBC and ABC here in the colonies and without those networks those programs would not be made - ever. Commerical networks have no interest in making documentaries or the majority of drama that publicly funded broadcasters make, they want bigger than ben hur, shite TV or if they truely got their way, no locally produced content and the ability to buy cheap crap from the US. I cannot speak for the UK but here three consecutive terms of the Australian Tories has turned our national broadcaster into a shitfight. Funding constantly under threat because Murdoch doesn't want the government funding a strong, reliable alternative to his shite media product and the Tories constantly complaining when they are held accountable for the shite they think they can get away with. The cunting Tories have gutted the ABC from the inside by installing their stooges into the board positions, more than half are either ex-Murdoch employees or cunts with links to their right wing scum party. I'll sum it all up in one sentence; without networks like the BBC, David Attenborough would never have been able to make the documentaries he does because the commercial networks and production companies would never have taken the chance on him in the first place.

I went to the pub yesterday and they were playing the funeral on the speakers outside...loud! Inside it was on every TV, one which was about 80". It was louder than they ever have the football.. It was very Orwellian/Black Mirror. I went outside with my pint to meet people, whilst the choir was blaring out of the speaker there was a man going through ashtrays for cigarette butts. A young kid stopped on his bike and looked up at the speaker to see what the fuck was going on. Absolutely bizarre.

If you live somewhere like the east end of Newcastle and you don't know any contacts for anything trade related like the fish's needs then it's the same as admitting you don't like a pint or football in as much as blokes would raise an eyebrow and would secretly think you've dipped one toe in the wrong'un sea. I can't speak for Seaton Sluice.

we dodged a bullet with lingard

There was a moment when he was clattered into just outside Bournemouth's box where he stayed down for a moment in the hope of winning a foul, as he fucking should TBH but I think the ref waved play on, so he quickly got to his feet and got into a good attacking position. Unfortunately I think the ball ended up with Miggy on the right and things ground to a halt because his right foot is for standing on only. Bournemouth made a point of trying to play Isak and not the ball the whole game, so that and no service gives no cunt the right to have a go at the lad.

Roofing at mates rates Well I know a kid on a forum like

There’s nothing ironic about it. It’s been shoved down everyone’s throat.

So basically the Chancellor is going to announce a budget with massive tax cuts and sweeping deregulation. But he’s not calling it a budget but a fiscal event so he doesn’t have to get the OBR to review any of it. He’s also doing it on Friday, the last day before Parliament rises for three weeks so the lot of them can go on the piss during conference season. This of course follows nearly two weeks of not sitting because of the Queen. So much for scrutiny, eh?

The Metro newspaper is informative this morning. 32 advert less pages of the Royal Funeral, not a shred on the news of anything else. Last night R5 decided to repeat the audio of the entire funeral. I hope the grief keeps us all warm this winter. I've never felt any emotion at all about the queen dying, just a feeling of bewilderment and fear that the country can behave like this in a time of crisis. But thinking about it, it does seem quite likely that the queen passing does mark the final end of an age for the UK where we were a prosperous and influential country. Now we are just a pound shop USA with a health service added on. The rot started properly 12 years ago but the end of the Elizabethan age may set a hard marker for this country's decline. Hope I am wrong.

Sly eyes. I don’t like the way she makes up stories to either garner sympathy or to put herself on a pedestal which are then disproven by people who were present and know the facts. I don’t like liars. There are other things but it’s more of a distrust of her motives whilst she makes herself out to be a victim. However I also think her relentless hounding by certain sections of the media is a disgrace. In regards to the funeral and Wooton’s vitriol; she didn’t put a foot wrong yesterday. She was respectful and appropriate and will no doubt be happy to get the hell out of the country.

When you’ve got labour shortages, low wages, high inflation etc., how the fuck is making people’s working conditions worse likely to improve productivity or attract people to join a company / organisation? When this doesn’t work expect to see Truss in Kyiv every other week cosplaying Thatcher.

Content is king.

Also there is no way this lunacy will help growth in that time frame. Also doubt this will counteract the effect of our self imposed trade barriers. Don't forget every UK port is effectively a free port for the EU now,with no tariffs applied or any regulation checked. Guess labelling in imperial will put a lot of foreign exporters off though.

Just as we're about to move to a 7 day week with no breaks and the workhouse for unruly kids.

Fuck me, the utter fucking dross we build in this country you would be surprised we had an fucking planning laws.

Charlotte Hope now bigging up these lads.

No other team in the prem seems to give a flying fuck about ffp.

Good read this: https://totalfootballanalysis.com/player-analysis/joelinton-at-newcastle-united-202223-scout-report-tactical-analysis-tactics

Long story short, they ripped off half a dozen Wire songs. When challenged Justine claimed she had never heard of Wire and was countered with "you personally named them as your biggest influence on the liner notes of your album". Stranglers (and others) also went after them over the waking up riff being lifted from No More Heroes. I do have a little sympathy for Justine, there's only 12 notes in the scale and smack probably blues the lines a bit.

For lovers of fine music, so CT you can stop reading now, Bass Drum of Death are just about to tour the UK, 30/09 London (Roundhouse), 01/10 Newcastle (Uni) and 10/10 Brighton (Chalk but with the Lemonheads) (hopefully I didn't miss out anyone that cares). Amazing and entertaining live. More details: https://www.bassdrumofdeath.com/ This it their new single. And a KEXP show from a few years back.

It went straight to Chez Given’s head iirc

I must keep missing the coverage of this in the MSM

@Howmanheyman this, hope the lass is well on the road to recovery.

Thank fuck this is all over.

Our new Queen.