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Why not have three queues that lead to three different coffins? Then just before the funeral have Noel Edmonds open the three coffins deal or no deal style to reveal that two of them have been holding dead tramps the entire time. I can’t think of anything more British.

Pussycat Pussycat Where have you been? “I’ve been to London to see the dead Queen” Pussycat Pussycat What did you there? “ I waited 24 fucking hours with a bunch of brain dead cunts… meow”

I think sometimes people set up a false dichotomy up for themselves. There is nothing wrong with having tribal loyalties (I think it is hardwired into humans) but have a more global sense of belonging. There was never a contradiction for me in considering myself all of Northumbrian (and NUFC), British, and fiercely European. Call me a citizen of the Milky Way too if you like, it's true, and I will fight thos Andomedan bastards if the need arises. My issue with this cult (and it is a cult) is the deference associated with it. Some of these people must realy lack self-respect. I genuinely do not consider Charles to be my better in any way, shape, or form, and never will. I'm rambling a bit here but point is, the monarchy can get fucked for me.

Sorted.

When you think about it, the Royals have been ripping off the the masses for decades with their public duty crap. When it is announced there will be a royal occasion, thousands of banner waving sycophants travel from far and wide to gather outside the locked gates at Buckingham palace to stare up at a large empty balcony for hours on end. When the Royals eventually get up off their fat lazy arses and manage the few steps outside, they just stand there in a long line looking fucking gormless. All the Royals can do is stand there and stare down on the waving crowd who in turn look up waiting for one of the limp wristed cunts on the balcony to wave back. After 10 minutes and a couple of begrudging smiles and waves the Royals go back inside having fulfilled their public duty. Then all those thousands of deluded monarchists have to make their way home without getting stabbed. As gigs go, it is a pretty poor fucking show by any standards.

Just to briefly indulge my inner nihilist, IMO people are desperate to find meaning in their lives/can't cope with the reality that nothing particularly matters and so assign undue respect/attention/importance to cultural nonsense like this. The fact that many others are doing the same becomes validating and so by the end of it, they feel like they've been part of something meaningful. They're all enabling each other's delusion and I doubt many of them gave two hoots about the royal family before this. It is what it is though. Maybe they're the smart ones for believing there is meaning in anything at all tbh, I do wonder this sometimes.

24 hour queue now. Fucking bellends.

How are we not calling it The Queueen, by the way?

Yes, I think that articulates it rather well. The dopey fucking cunts

Fair - I have to admit, football is a bit of a guilty pleasure on that front for me. I've not managed to attach myself strongly to the national side in this respect but I am fiercely proud of Newcastle, both the team and the city. I know it's irrational to feel such things but it also feels natural to want to belong to something. I take great pleasure in celebrating on here when we win, sharing the joy with everyone else. The misery when we lose, etc. These people have that on a larger scale as you say - maybe because they still identify with the national story in some sense - I have to admit I lost that entirely with Brexit. I would wager more than 90% of the people queuing up for that coffin are leave voters. The only ones with a national story left to cling to.

He’s not there any more. He moved to the States as he thought Pakistan was getting a bit too liberal with women’s rights.

It's easy to call them so I will, err, I mean.... If that's what they want to do I think they're mental but it's their business. I'm more bothered by the media overkill which no doubt has added a few to that queue.

ERANU! Eranu indeed! You've won our special bullshit media prize by coming out with words similar to 'A very British... [insert bollocks here]', 'peculiarly British' or 'quintessentially British.... [Rhubarb goes here]'. Ewerk, you'll be transported by the Galloway Princess over the Irish sea to bonny Scotland to spend a night looking at where Queen Elizabeth the second stayed in a box for a bit before being whisked down to London on a GNER train which will be dry out of respect to Queen Elizabeth the second before being transferred by a lovely cockney cab driver to the back of the queue to see the empty coffin with a flag over it and hopefully not be charged by the driver out of respect for Queen Elizabeth the second. Terms and conditions apply.

there's probably more going on in the coffin and the urn than there is between mandy's ears

Better yet, let's all learn the Saudi anthem and sing that instead. All together, lads: سَارْعِي ،لِلْمَجْدِ وَالْعَلْيَاء !مَجِّدِي لِخَالِقِ الْسَّمَاء

Aye, either they’re searching for some kind beacon of hope in this meaningless existence, or they’re thick as whale spunk and do what the Mail/Sun tells them. I doubt it’s the first.

Refuse to believe that in Altrincham tbh

I mean, to be fair after eight hours it’s bound to be fairly sloppy going.

"Queenie doesn't live here anymore She's in a box on the first floor"

Someone's absolutely desperate for a knighthood.

I’d have assigned a cameraman to stick with her the whole way to cover the absolute FEWM when security tell her she can’t take it in.

Yeah but he was still a looker.

Chronologically maybe but you don't know Fish. Was bald at 15 for starters.

Spoilers ffs

"Shite, I thought this was for the new Apple Store"

The one goid thing about my mother dying is she loved the queen and she'd have me in that bastard queue Small mercies

Do it Monty Hall style, get a representative pleb to choose a coffin, open a tramp coffin, and ask them if they wants to change their choice. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Hall_problem [For those that haven't heard of this and are interested in maths and probability, this is a genuinely fascinating problem].

Maybe. I don't see the allure of belonging to such a large heterogeneous group though. Why not narrow it down a bit and actually get some pleasure from your tribal loyalties. That's what football* is for. * Other sports, bands etc, may be applicable.

Thing is, people are using this as some kind of evidence there is strong support for the monarchy. But even if a million queue, that's still less than 2% of the population, leaving 98% of people not being interviewed or represented by the BBC et al. I think the large majority of that 98% are either completely ambivalent or bemused by what is happening. I'm not sure this current lunacy will help the monarchy in the future though.

Someone should run down the queue shouting spoilers such as "she's dead" & "Andrew turns out to be a didler".

Some of it is weird self flagellation. One woman interviewed said she was glad she had sore feet as it was a sign of respect to the Queen.

Be fucking hilarious if she wasn’t even in the box.

Or Rayvin

Worked it out, it’s tooner! Sorry again @aimaad22 didn’t mean to put you in with the moose fucking lumberjacks.

She's with me, obviously summit loose up there

They shit themselves in honour of the queen and sleep where they fall with respect to the crown

Nope, there is nothing remarkable about any of the people I work with. They are, for the large part, utterly mediocre. It’s just full of people who are good at office politics and people who accept that there is a large amount of sacrifice (in terms of your personal life) that goes with the job. I just do it because I have no other discernable skills to apply in a more worthwhile job. The smartest people I ever worked with were for a media company before I sold out.

Anyone who has a different a opinion seems to get arrested too Its grim up North Korea

I think a minute’s silence is appropriate and asking people to sing GSTK isn’t. I can see why it’s happening like. Hopefully lots of people won’t bother with the latter. Better still take the HMHM approach

Mate, the cabbage isn’t even good enough for American Samoa! So who’s the moose fucker, it’s one of the loonytoons, isn’t it?

Well, managing a team ranked 195 would be right at his level. Though I still think we could do better.

I now picture you as Martin Goodman, bumbling about the house with your shirt off because “it’s boiling!”, and coming out with gems of wisdom.