Leaderboard

Still totally in denial

Polarboy is going to be working double shifts.

About 5 inches

Lube? Ever the optimist…

How much did you put in?

Do you mean personality or dropping death farts in the changing room? Either way- get rid

Maradona's ghost spotted.

I have a pic on my phone of my dog's shaved arsehole that I had to send the vet last year if anyone's interested? DMs open, willing to trade.

new GAZUMP just dropped

Seeing the way the thread is going..... A great Dane, a terrier and a Jack Russell are sitting in a vet's waiting room , the great Dane bored of pretending to read the reader's digest decides to strike up a conversation with the other two depressed looking dogs; Great Dane: "Alright, mate? You look miserable as sin, what you in for, if you don't mind me asking?" The terrier looks up at him almost in tears; Terrier: "Castration." Great Dane: "Fucking hell, you poor bastard! How'd that come about?" Terrier: "Well, my owner was sitting on the settee watching coronation street and I saw her dangling her leg and before you know it I was full of the Frankie Vaughan so I started humping her leg! She went off it, hit me on the head and said she'd had enough and I was getting it chopped off the next day!" Great Dane: "Fuck's sake mate, that's bad crack." He looks at the other forlorn dog and asks him his worries. Jack Russell: " Wey, same as him really, my owner was watching EastEnders and I was feeling a bit rampant, so started to dry hump her leg. She shouted out that enough was enough and I was in for the cruelest cut of all." Great Dane: "Lads, I don't know what to say? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." Terrier: "What about you? Why are you here?" Great Dane: "Well it's a bit similar to you lads tbh, I was looking for my rubber bone and I'd looked everywhere, garden, behind the settee so I thought I'd check upstairs. I got past the bathroom and there was my owner just out of the shower and her bathrobe fell off her. I was like a baby's arm holding an apple! I ran up behind her, pinned her down with me big paws on her shoulders and bucked the arse off her for about an hour." Jack Russell: "Fucking hell! Are you in for castration as well?" The great Dane turned his paws over looking down at them, "Err, no, no, nowt like that, she wants iz to get me nails cut."

STID of the Dump

On the subject of dogs Hamish and his idea of a stick this weekend.

His mam’s going to go mental again

Shagging toddlers in daycare 🤷🏼‍♂️

were breaking the record again, 100%

Sticking todger in daughter? I’ll get me coat

Now try that at the Eagle in Newcastle.

We were much the better side; more possession, more touches, more shots, more shots on target, better xG. Neves can fuck off, and anyone complaining about that game can get aboard the FuckOff bus and all.

Anyone who had a heart wouldn't have stooped that low 🙄

Well, this should be fun

In short, he’ll be up in arms. STID

👏 for the title In an uncharacteristic rush to the head of early season optimism it was decided that South Coast Mags would travel en masse to Merseyside for the occasion of this seasons fixture at Anfield. Not as yet regretting such rashness although Saturdays shellacking dished out to Bournemouth has certainly concentrated our collective mind 😬

Let’s be honest, the lad we all ( well, Gemmill) want to see trying his luck at “getting vhe hungdred poingts” is AP himself. Don’t forget to like and subscribe 🤌

Are we all writing off Manquillo as cover for Krafth then? I know Krafth has improved a lot under Howe but for me at least he was way behind Manquillo prior to that. I'm not so sure we need to bring anyone else in for that position. I mean I've got absolutely no problem with bringing in this youngster from West Ham if he's a good prospect but I'd certainly still be focussing my attention futher up the pitch. I'm not too convinced we'll sign anyone else though. The remotely credible links have dried up in the last week since the Issak news broke, and while the fact that deal came out of nowhere offers some hope, there is very little time left now for someone to appear out of the blue. If this is it for this window, I think we've made some excellent moves but I am slightly disapointed we've not addressed the midfield/wing situation. Had we done that I think we could have potentially gave the top six a shot this season with the world cup and number of games before it potentially hindering the teams in Europe.

I was working in Hackney, was going to graft till 2pm and then go to Shoreditch to watch the game…still went to Shoreditch, ended up in The Eagle where a dinner lady in her 40s was passing a half pint glass round. When it was full of pound coins she’d do a slow striptease to some cliched Benny Hill type backing track, showing us all her wares , including her Caesarian scar

The longer we go under the radar, the better we'll do. If people still think we're a long ball side that gets a few lucky results here and there, we'll benefit from it. And Neves' comments suggest that it's not just opposition fans that think this.

First Premier League manager to be sacked in August since SBR. Ridiculous IYAM and reading between the lines it’s definitely to do with comments he’s made about lack of transfer activity which were fully justified. Owner protecting his pride and ego ahead of the interests of the club and their supporters. We, more than most know how that can feel. idiotic move.

I'd say it probably had more to do with his comments about not being backed in the transfer market. He definitely had a point about that, only Leicester have spent less. If you're a newly promoted side you need to have a go to stand a chance of survival.

Sexualy transmitted inbred diseases ?

Imagine if salah had done it. Hammann would have wanted him knighted.

I am all for all parts of this, love some showboating, love a (reasonably harmless) reducer going in afterwards. Some of the fume is hilarious Didi Hammann reckons richarlison should have been sent off for unsportsmanlike conduct. Pathetic.

Surprise, surprise

He'd been shite for a two or three season before last season, but last season he was one of the few players to come out of it with any credit apart from Ronaldo.

Yes, Ornstein was saying it. Barry doesn’t even know fuck all about his beloved football club. He isn’t a MLF then but rather something close to a mag at work

That's harsh on a dump TBF.

Still no work permit for Isak. CHEERS CT.

Hmmm read somewhere he didn't, must be wrong though, now I know how Gemmill feels 😕

3-2, Isak brace, ASM with the winner. Fag-Ash Eric wingeing like fuck at FT.

I think we’ll give them a game, whether we’re missing half a team or not. We may well end up losing 3 or 4 zip, but this team will always try. Fully expect to see us continue with our aggressive high pressing style based on what we’ve seen so far this season

I'd like this Ashby kid from West Ham (RB), I still think we're in for some more quality up at the business end of the pitch too. Edson Alvarez has been mentioned and he's a good DM, but I'm not sure that's a priority area right now. When it's Bruno, Joelinton and Longstaff/Willock, there's plenty of disruption going on so I'm not sure we need a specialist DM right now. We definitely need a threat from the right hand side and personally think we could do with some more depth up front. Some young striker who'd be happy to pick up 10 minutes here and there, but who is an upgrade on Wood. Chris Wood is quickly becoming my scapegoat. I understand why we signed him, and he's done the job we've asked of him, but he was a stop gap and we've now covered that gap.

It'll still be nightmare. Imagine lining up for a drink in a moon boot! What's that? It's in Qatar! Well, I bet those things itch like a bastard in the summer heat. And you can't get at it. Arrgh! Completely ruined his summer. Unless he can find himself a good fork.

Things you love to see.

Sunderland would have never celebrated that man. They'd have been hounding out their manager in outrage. This started off in my head as a sarcastic comment but on the second sentence I started to think it might actually be the truth