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"Aye, play offs for us I think, a good pre-season will help too."

Fender's album nominated for the Mercury Prize.

Lad I know lived in bandit country and swears you could buy derby tickets for Roker park in Presto's or Spar and that's where he and mates got them. No check or fuck all. (And they wonder why so many Mags used to be in their ends).

"Al, you get the ball and do whatever you want with it" was about the extent of Bruce's coaching of ASM and is exactly what the player wanted to hear.

I think I'll wait for Pearson to do a summary. "Alright guys. Bit of sumfin new for duh channuw today. *smash cut to Adam in a barristers wig and Newcastle home shirt*. 'ORDER!' Guys before you start finkin that I brought my gran to Lisbon wiv me. Don't worry it's still me, ADAM. *knocks wig off* Been listenin to a leguw podcast today while I've been by the pool in my 5 star hotel in the centre of Lisbon. And before you start thinking 'who does this guy fink he is, stick to the football', don't worry guys I'll still be bringing you all the usuaw big match build up and Newcastle United coverage that you've come to expect from the channuw, but first up let's get into some leguw chat wiv my main man Nick Di Marco and his mate Mike Bloff QC. Dunno wot that stands for, maybe Quite Cool or sumfin cos let me tell you guys wot we're about to get in to is deffintly pretty cool stuff and sum great new content for the channuw. Don't forget guys if you like what you hear, smash that like button and subscribe for more great content like this. But wivout furver ado guys, let's get into it wiv some leguw chat."

Bondswell could be the glue in our defence this season.

Lascelles showing exactly why he should be nowhere near the first team. The logic of Howe having him keep the captaincy is faulty at best in my opinion.

Let me know the score so I can put a bet on!

He's got a moothfull of marbles and a heed full of broken biscuits but like gemmill says, he's enjoying himself so good luck to him. (I won't be smashing the like and subscribe buttons, though).

It's not you who he needs to get voting for him, he has the Pimms drinking shithouse vote locked in already

We should have sent them out for fuck all to the schools since that’s what classy clubs who can’t fill their stadium do

Apparently they haven’t won any of their preseason friendlies. Not to worry though, their first match in the Championship isn’t until Sunday

This is the kind of fight where you pray both of them lose.

Aye the ball just sticks to him. He's great for dressing room morale too.

NOOOOO! The Eusebio Cup is gone for another season.

Some canny fanny in the ground like

He looks fuck all like a vegan skateboarder.

never happened mate. one, maybe two present in the fulwell/clockstand/gillingham game. both got knacked off a 14 year old from pennywelll, read it on rtg.

Not a cultist but on nationalisation the membership reflects the electorate a lot more than Starmer.

:

Strokes the ball well

No need. Curated Adam Pearson content will be brought directly to Toontastic members on a silver platter.

Bruce accidentally did a slightly better than entirely subpar job with ASM. That's about as much credit as I've got for him.

Nice but howay mate take the sunglasses off in the house.

I criticised the extending of Dummett's contract only to be told on here, something along the lines of 'I trust Howe and his team over some Pearson, Casey wannabe's'. Obviously I am paraphrasing.

Why are they treating this internal leadership contest as a national event? Who honestly gives a fuck?

Plenty time marra. Dinnit werry.

Cue OUTRAGE on RTG.

The Monkey Hanger’s cup final

You're supposed to have me on ignore, ya lying shit for brains.

Strained headband? FFS

Lads, Dan Ashworth is not going to let Steve Bruce handle our best young prospect for a season

Him to their lass on the point of ejaculation: "Eeets time.....pant.....time for zhee Vinagre stroke......nnnnnnaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Retard

There's a model of the MXR on the Stomp. Rest assured, I can fuck that shit up too.

Not sure which is more sad.

Think it's fair to say that nobody improved under Bruce, some plateaued, and some players' performances went off the fucking cliff.

agreed with Longstaff. You have to trust Howe if he sees potential he can work with given how he’s improved other players. And Longstaff did look good when he first broke through under Rafa so hopefully it’s just a case of him being Bruced in the short term and he can turn it around.

Listening to Starmer being interviewed on Radio 4. He is a total personality vacuum, and isn't saying anything that would get anyone to vote for him. Platitude upon platitude He also sounds much more like the third candidate in the Tory leadership race than anything else

Let's do this. Please blow your fucking party to smithereens.

Manquillo has done well under Howe but we obviously can’t accommodate everyone so I would tend to agree. Surprised Dummett’s signed a new deal given his injury problems. I don’t think he’s that versatile either. LB or on the left of a back three are the only two places he can play. And he’s limited there even if he’s defensively sound

Thoughts and prayers for Dead Neymar