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ELLIOT ANDERSON'S NEXT STOP?

the pointlessness of sending a good luck tweet to an anaesthetised lion seems to sum up Storey’s whole raison d’être

You can hear Callum the staffy shouting out support for his fighters in the mackem street rumble. The cherry on top is it was filmed by a lad on what is no doubt a stolen mountain bike.

FYP

The big beastie was fine until William slipped a can of Rich Energy into his water bowl.

This is exactly how @Howay describes Sunderland! The worst thing about this video for me though, is the mackem prick has filmed it in portrait orientation.

A family of parakeets have apparently moved into our garden. I'm now treated to a daily 5.30 alarm call and my days wfh are now punctuated with incessant shrill shrieks. Bloody foreign birds, coming over here, making a racket and spoiling the area.

Just had a notification on twitter to say I've been added to someone's list: Remainer Traitors.

I vaguely remember there being a load of chat on twitter about Bruno joining Arsenal a few months ago

Aye but 25% of our transfer budget will have to go on getting his name printed on his shirt.

“dowwunt come at iz again ya daft cowuhh, daint come at iz” as her “lad” struggles to rip the lovely shirt, bought from scope, off the back of his rival. I was hoping a stray dog would walk past the shot as the “classy” couples engaged in perhaps the most unathletic display I’ve seen in my life. What a bunch of fucking huckles. It’s also brilliant that not a single person moves to break it up “daint brek them up lal Mick, yiv gorrah laarrn. Callum the staffy owwwah there, massive lads fan by the way, has fifty pee on Sharon and big Mick”.

A big signing for the right wing would be my preference. Imo we have absolutely nothing to offer in that position, I know people on Twitter get upset by this type of opinion but last season we got 5 goals and 4 assists from Fraser, Almiron, and Murphy from nearly 80 starts collectively. I think a right winger also stretches the field, it’ll stop this doubling and triple marking of ASM which will give him far more one v ones.

Here? First?

Oof.

Nothing we don't already know. Apart from Gloomy maybe, but media 100% complicit with enabling Johnson

Two things from this. 1. Looks like Lewis is well in the squad so assume he'll be registered this time after his surgery was done last season. 2. The lads on the podium are all the same height once they're on it

It’s Gerrard still thinking he’s at Liverpool. If he’s good enough then he’ll have bigger clubs such as ourselves sniffing around. The smart thing would be to bring him into the fold and show him he has a future there rather than treating him as a leper.

Punishing a young lad for daring to have a year left on his contract.

Francois in full camo, moving soldiers around a battlefield. The wing nut branch of the party sees its power ebbing away if Sunak or Mordaunt win.

Update from IPSOS MORI.

it's a game of poker. they're trying not to get fleeced and are using some journos as messengers to bang the budget drum. if they don't manage to land their prefered targets within "budget" i still expect them to splash some money - probably in the region of an another $50-100m on a couple of forward players

Aye, it’s why I honestly think the FFP shite Edwards harps on about isn’t true. There’s no way Ashworth paid €40m or whatever it was for a CB, which was one of our lower priority positions (perhaps lowest other than RB) if it meant our budget was blown. Even Pope tbh, we could have done fine with Schar, Burn, Dubravka compared to what we have in attack.

Is Sunak standing on on upturned empty crate of broon?

I know. That didn't stop her watching the armada depart Portsmouth all teary eyed apparently, and it was then and there she knew she was a Thatcherite. Meanwhile I was pretending to be a Vulcan bomber.

1 in 12. We can build on that.

Yep. Don't think it's a spoiler to say everyone needs a Mike in their life!

He had an xG of 11.2 last season but only scored 6. I suggest that you and your petard report immediately to the nearest hoist.

How do you create a list? I'm gonna make one called Leave Cunts and give it a membership of one.

I rate Fraser, he's energetic, puts in decent crosses and grafts til he can't graft no more, usually around 80 minutes. He's probably not champions League quality but he is good enough to get us into the top half. Outside of that, I have questions over Almiron and Murphy's ability and decision making under pressure.

As I say personally I think Fraser is a bottom half/relegation scrap player at this level, he had one purple patch season where Arsenal were linked and he managed 7 goals and 14 assists but outside of that season the contribution we’ve seen this year is the norm for him. Agree striker is a big need too but because we have Wilson that’s what makes me say RW, Wood had a very poor season - I think his issue is that he is better in a front two, but if he had a right winger like Diaby and a freer ASM he could be better than we’ve seen rather than the alternative of Isak receiving 9 foot high crosses out to touch from Fraser. I think we will see a big spending spree late in the window if we don’t see movement on these players soon. There’s no issue with FFP imo and I think as Gloom says it’s just all a bit of a dance at the moment where we are trying to drive the prices down as much as possible and the clubs are trying to hold firm, it’s just who blinks first.

Aye. Even with the level of improvement shown in the second half of the season I think there’s only Fraser I rate. And we need an upgrade on him.

Not even noticed the heat here on the coast. Today has been perfect. Lovely sunshine with a cool North Sea breeze. This place will be like the French rviera (was) when global warming properly hits and you southern cunts are shooting each other over bottled water.

Dragging players round by their hair shouting "GERROFFUZZZZZ! FUCKUN GERROFUUUUUZZZZZZ!" like the lass on that video.

When do we get the results for the latest stage of this holocaust?

This is normal.

team bonding going well

I'd happily take as good as Wilson as long as he wasn't made of glass.

Surely it’s the norm in this sort of thing. She’d do it if she wasn’t thick as pig’s shit and Johnson definitely would’ve employed similar tactics

Wrong thread

Your family are genuinely harsh.