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#léBampe #PommeFritesFromage #Hawheehaw #F1 #Mbappe #hashtagmagnifique

well I for one am glad he was NAMED and SHAMED. Keep up the good work

FYP

He's been spotted in the local branch of Aliments pour Hérons.

No offence, CT

The police obvs. I'm Jack. I reckon your boys are letting you dewwwn, George.

Was it Deadman who used the term ‘cunterhead’ or was that someone else?

If anyone is wondering he said France is brilliant, he stuck some of his canned battery acid on random shelves in a Carrefour supermarket. He also said he highly recommends their toilets as a washing facility, it’s free (provided you sneak in as security is swapping over so they don’t stop you), and not as dangerous as the ones at the docks, perfect after a month under a local bridge.

Speaking of which.....

The damage is already done. 5 years out the top flight and 4 of them in league 1. No parachute payments, nowt in the bank, owners not willing / able to spend enough to get the out the division. Another season of William Storey pretending to be about to bid for them beckons.

The pundits saying he deserved a chance under the new regime seem to have gone a bit quiet

Trippier called up

“Make sure their odds are hilariously confusing, to the extent they’re carrying Callum the staffie down to the bookies to bet him on promotion, thus securing another economic annum terriblis on wearside”

Ah well, if hugs off his mam trump his footballing ambitions, so be it.

All those & West Ham are in a highly condensed pre World Cup European campaign. As our esteemed colleague @Gemmill has pointed out that puts ourselves and maybe Leicester & Wolves possibly on course for getting ourselves higher up than 7/8 by mid November

I don't see us going past City for ages, and I honestly don't even care. Just thrilled to be moving upwards again at last.

I don't want to sound bad, but I see a lot of similarities between Lodi and Lewis. Lodi probably has more options to improve. And if you get it, it's great. But I don't know if he will make it. Lodi doesn't quite convince me, and I've been watching him play three years in a row. (To be fair, in 2020 he had a great game against Salah and if that was always his level...) He has played only because Atleti did not have another left back. He is very, very fragile in defense, and you can see that he can be good in attack, but he is very hasty and doesn't think about his actions. In fact, Simeone, in order not to put him, last year he had to change to a five-player defense and put Carrasco as Left Back. The moments in which Lodi has played better this year have been practically playing in the middle on the left, and not in defense. I think he has qualities, but that he is a somewhat limited player when it comes to learning and perhaps he will never end up exploiting. In fact, in 3 years, he has not improved. I don't know if anyone remembers the Copa América final between Argentina and Brazil. The match ended 1-0 with a goal from Di María, which easily entered Lodi's back thanks to a pass from De Paul. Di María said in an interview that during all the days before the match, Ángel Correa (Atlético de Madrid) had told his teammates from Argentina that the best option to attack was to look for balls behind Lodi, who he trained. with Lodi every day and everyone knew that he was very bad defending. On the other hand, Lodi is a boy who seems very simple. Humble. He is a good person. At Atleti, when he played 2-3 games in a row (vs Man United and Celta de Vigo) and the public chanted his name, he left the stadium crying. He looks like a very good person and I would love for him to end up triumphing. But he raises a lot of questions. I think the ideal thing for Newcastle would be to stay with Targett and then try to sign a player who could have a future and progress if they don't trust Lewis more. Or Lodi, if he didn't cost as much as 40 million.

The really do take pictures of the absolute shittest stuff, make up a story about it and then get emotional over it. “Eyyyaaah marras ah wuz walkin my staffy and saw a mackem-wagon, brought a reyyyt tear to my eye just shows how much last weyykend meant, even Callum the staffy had a tear in his eye”.

Was it ever in doubt? But seriously, we just don't do it the easy way. I think our fan base is going to rapidly reduce in age as old timers like me start to have heart attacks.

Glad it’s not just me that thinks Almiron has somehow lost more weight. Looks like Gollum playing 5 a side these days

Since Almiron is gradually transforming in to a Willington Quay skip rat, I’m looking forward to him shivving the brummie shithouse when we beat them next season

France’s vagrancy laws are a lot more forgiving than ours- he might decide to stay, since he’s picked the language up so well #carrefour #lebusiness #tree #mangetoutmangetout #nourritured’héron

Nice. 9/10. Would give a 10 but he really should have got Raab on the abysmal Afghanistan evacuation after he was eviscerated by the report yesterday.

And the gas and electric is going up again in October.

That’s geese man, not ducks, but I’ll let you off, just this swans mind

The Kamara thing completely passed me by tbh. Anyone that wants to go to Villa over Newcastle is more than welcome though tbh. They'll realise soon enough that they fucked up. Maybe even as early as when the taxi driver picking them up from the airport starts talking.

They’ll be calling it a building process, as Villa have another 9 figure spend. If we want Bissouma we’d get him tbh, Villa won’t compete with us - I know a lot of their fans are going mad that they beat us to Kamara but the reality is we didn’t value him at the price they paid, people can say it’s free but it ends up being an £80m or so deal once you factor in all the player/agent fees plus wages. I’m calm about this window tbh, I think we will go about our business in a methodical way, we will try for a bunch of players like Ekitike and maybe miss out to top sides - but maybe we sign 1-2 like that, then as KD and others point out we get a couple in like Harrison who are in that Burn/Targett mold.

You’re all just lucky Ant didn’t show us where the “DELETE FORUM” button is.

Bruno’s lobbed finish against Narge was superb too

Yeh we adopted that “nothing can possibly go right, Ashley is here forever” idea. Genuinely never thought he’d ever shift & there’d always be something that tied him to us. Even if the PIF deal was going to be straight forward I could have imagined him asking for an extra £150m before the ink was dry in some act of sabotage.

Aye and honestly, if you'd have said "you get all this but it'll come with relegation" I still would have snapped your hand off. Instead we were taken over by one of the largest investment firms in the world, avoided relegation in some style, played some decent football for once, turned around the fortunes of several struggling players, brought in some gold standard players alongside that, and pissed off/terrified the rest of the league in the process. Can you imagine if someone said, at the start of the season, that this was where we'd end up? We'd think he was off his fucking rocker.

Forgot all about Penfold. What an odious little prick he was. So typical of the Ashley regime, a tea boy promoted for loyalty rather than ability.

If someone said that within a couple of months, Ashley, Penfold and Bruce would be gone then that's your season buzz right there and the goal we wanted to achieve at the beginning of the season.

Fucking honking, aren’t they?

Sacking Bruce- back of the fucking net! Giddup! Almiron’s v Palace was mint, but Bruno’s cheeky back heel was minter. But, I’m going to pick every Joelinton goal since Howe joined us, as it’s just such a magnificent turnaround.

waddle load of shite duck puns

“ Eeyven the bewkies love us Marra!”

Almiron has been a fucking great servant to be honest. Ashley had him serving in the canteen when he was injured to save on Sodexo agency fees.

Stop! I confit in there…

Show me the stats on it?

We have a poster called Christmas Tree who wouldn't rest this season until we were mathematically safe. He'll no doubt be pulling the same shit next year.

He heard it on Talksport.

Never withdraw early when there's a chance of Dickov. Important life lesson there

I don't understand from where you get the nerve for this, mind.

Wor Flags are ok like but …..

“ If there’s someone dead, In the neighbourhood, Who you gonna call?…”

“They’a not classsy, weeee are”