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"5 is a bit excessive, I think it might be 5" (safety )

He wears a coat when it's 15c outside.

What, instead of hanging around the work mensroom listening to geriatric actors farting?

I’m not suggesting Gloom represents all mainstream media/metropolitan elite soft southern shandy drinking coat wearing northern-passport-handed-in absolute fuckin weapons everywhere, but he’d definitely get an interview for that gig

and it was a jacket not a coat

Oh no, they understood you perfectly. They understood that you were FUCKING ENGLISH.

Let's have one last go at this.... CAM ON PALACE YOU FACKIN WANKAZ!!!

Lord Nelson looking down thinking “who are these scruffy cunts?” Proper Londoners must hate it when these tramps turn up. Going to Covent Garden like it’s some kind of cultural centrepiece and drinking their cans. Must look like someone’s put a grenade under a thousand alcoholic tramps come the morning.

Parking, breakfast now bags. How do they function ffs?

'You were saying?'

Has she appeared on a ITV programme about the Krays which starred Fred Dinage? Has she had a good whiff of Holly’s pissy knickers? Has she played a lollipop man who works for the Grim Reaper? Nah, didn’t think so

Unlike him. The pasty-faced jowly cunt

The usual faces get around, like. She's pretty decent when I've heard her to be fair but when some journalist or TV presenter is interviewing her or other usual suspects about stuff that happened before their time up here I'm full on..... "Your current NUFC celebrity fans might well have the podcast scene off pat and be friends with Caulkin and Waugh, that's great but if you get interviewed...... about NUFC stuff you weren't around to see...... Then I'm going to say, 'How! Robson, Tory boy, Taylor and Besty!!! Nooooooo!!!' You may well be decent lads and lasses, (unless you're Tory), but stick to your fucking lane and don't bother looking for Albert, you wouldn't know what to talk about as YOU WEREN'T AROUND YOU FUCKING SLAAAAAGS!!!!"

Nothing wrong with that

“ Couldn’t get a ticket- shagged my sister instead “

"Anybody got any ideas on what I should do?" Like it's a 5 dimensional rubik's cube and not a simple straight shootout between two equally depressing options.

Think I might head over to GOT and see what sort of [Poor language removed] they're in.

I knew that absolutely none of them would even consider the idea of having a pint anywhere. Just warm cans out of a bag.

No we fucking don’t.

Fuck me, here comes Terry McCann

it was 12c and raining, dickhead. and i'm no tory - i've just gone full southern wanker when it comes to avoiding cold and rain.

Well the tories are well and truly fucking the country now, aren't they? It's getting to the point where I am scared what Labour will inherit (I am increasingly certain Johnson can't outright win the next election). I've just been to the coop (no green grocers here) to get a handful of vegetables I need to make the fresh food they constantly tell me I can make for 30 pence. Would have been 3 quid this time last year, now it's 5 quid. Okay, I can afford this but how the fuck can people on minimum or living wage? Also went to Boots to see if they have managed to procure the drugs I need for a chronic condition. They're still out of stock. Three months now. This medication isn't essential for my life or health but a lack of it causes me considerable discomfort. Never happened before. Other other personal gripe affecting me is the metro is getting increasingly unbearable with antisocial behaviour meaning I don't really want to work in the office any more, which actually in my case isn't great for my work or mental health. Homelessness is everywhere too. Feels to me like capitalism is finally failing and we are in the vanguard of it in Europe being led by the most incompetent, corrupt government in the country's history. I hope I'm wrong but without some kind of paradigm shift in thinking I can't see a way out of this, and I just can't see that happening with the present constitution and status quo. We're just going to go full on US mode and face an increasingly dystopic future. It all comes down to one thing imo, the triumph of lies over truth. The signs were there two decades ago, now we have to face the reality even though most people don't know why it's happened or recognise their part in it. Rant over, back to work out some health economics for drugs the NHS increasingly won't be able to afford.

Rangers can get tae fucking fuck

"Ahv gotta ticket for the nonstop clipper to London for satdaz playoff but dint knaa if I should tak it with iz as ah might lose it or it'll get in the way. Should ah tak the ticket and risk it or not bother and hope the driver will still letiz on without it? FTM."

Here's an idea. Make your own mind up you tit.

@Gemmill you fucking plum. Try and learn a lesson here.

Read that as progeny, which also works.

I love my PT Started going to the gym about 4 years ago age 56. Got 2 free sessions on join up where he gave me a set of upper body and a set of leg work outs Saw him twice every couple of months after that and he would upgrade routines. Started on machines then on weights. Life changing for me tbh

"And son, this is where we see that, compared to last storytime, the Big Bad Wolf's XH is skyrocketing with the amount of houses he managed to blow down"

Sounds like you two puffs are trying to hide your roots

the replies

I’m very much in the mindset of kicking back and enjoying the ride, seeing these players come in and watching the club grow but they can fuck right off with Bamford

Bit of both, I think. They'll not want to go and spend £300m in the summer anyway, but managing selling club expectations will also be a factor.

Well, this aged well

https://www.yell.com/s/off+licences-kings+cross+and+st+pancras+tube-islington.html Done.

Picknick in a car park.

So, Shazam has an international network of call centres staffed by thousands of cloned Bruno Brookes , but they’re all midget versions of him so they can fit more in. Whenever you Shazam , the signal is sent via denpressure between hundreds of towers to the nearest colony of Brunos, who use their encyclopaedic mini music brains to name that tune and send the answer back to you within a minute. Also, Shazam don’t have a “how it works” section at the bottom of their page that I can cut and paste, like 12ft Ladder does.

I don’t know how you’ve got the cheek…

A FUCKIN SNOW PLOY!

Aal them doctors are forrin noo, man

I know lad here in Manchester who is obsessed with purple aki. He goes around putting purple aki watch stickers all over the place, he is in his 30s

But they've got Stevieee Geeee, laa.

We have a federal election this Saturday and tbh we are in the same place as Britian and the States at the moment. Run by a bunch of cunts who's only interest is to make their mates and benefactors richer and in turn themselves. Now it's been to many years of these right wing cunts being in charge and Murdoch's media banging their drum but I cannot see them losing because people are so gullible and greedy. They like to call it "aspirational" but it's not, it's just lying to people that if they don't have to pay as much income tax that they will be able to afford that new BMW/iphone/whatfuckingever. Plus people as so stupid they don't realise they are paying more tax anyway because they just take from somewhere else, GST/import duties/not funding healthcare. I hold no hope that things will change, and I know I keep saying this but humans are the architects of their own extinction - it has already started. Anyway to give you an idea how bad our tory cunts are, these are a bunch of satirical ads made by comedians, everything they say is 100% true and has taken place just in the last term of government (4 years) but people seem to have forgotten.

Not sure if I mentioned it before but the show I'm working on atm shares a floor with the production offices of that show from Summer Bay. So yesterday I'm walking down through the shared space to the gentlemen's facilities and I happen past the flamin' fellow who owns/runs S.. Bay's liquor store and Caravan Park as he is talking to one of his colleagues. I enter the gentlemen's and am draining the snake when I hear flamin' finish his conversation and follow me into the bogs. A close of a cubical door, the sound of a belt buckle and he farts like a prim and proper posh lady! Flamin' hell who would have though the mongral farts like an old woman?