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Yesterday I told you that audios of the owners of Valencia are leaking. Okay. One leaked last night. In it, Anyl Murthy (the owner) says that Valencia is a beautiful city, but that they don't know how to export the club's brand. And for comparison, he says: 'Newcastle is a shitty city. But on the other hand, the club, at the sponsorship level, knows how to move'. This gentleman hasn't been eating at Greggs.

I was 28 when I said this 😭

oh god

I loved David Kelly, but KK moved him on for better. He's still an iconic part of our history today. Hayden obviously a decent lad and he'll be wished well by most I'd imagine but he's not getting in our midfield again. In the future, when his career is over he can be an outrageously biased pundit on sky sports Saturday singing our praises as our hoops are well and truly rimmed if we're successful alongside an ex Liverpool reserve, a former bit part Arsenal player and a retired non-entity Spurs bench sitter. The host will be Sue Smith. You heard it here first.©

Eddie are you ok, are you ok, Eddie. Yes he is because this bad arse mofo is aiming for Yo-rope mother fucker. Heeeeeeee heeeeeeeee

I've never known a bloke mention other bloke's cock sizes as much as Stevie did. He'd be talking about some central midfielder and would just casually bring it up, all hypothetically but with absolutely no relevance to the matter at hand.

He was and probably still is an utter cunt of the highest order. The dog's abuse I got off him for nothing more than being the wrong religion and voicing an opinion about, well, anything shows you his true colors. A vile, racist dickhead. Fuck him.

Erm seriously?

I’ll be honest, I hung on to this because I was expecting CT to post it… …since he was sitting right next to them.

I’m sure if he DM’s Gandaft he can put him on to some bijou al fresco slumber sites. #recycling #business #spoilyourself #behindheronfoods

Take it to MSN boys.

Has this cunt fucking signed yet?

Our Ban Ter threads have been (Denise) squelched

Recommend dosage- 1x 5ml spoonful twice a day. CT- necks 6 FUCKING LITRES! Boldon Dogs car park 20 minutes later…

Anyl, perhaps surprisingly, has no idea what shitty is.

Whoa… people pay for a bit of grumble???

So, Shazam has an international network of call centres staffed by thousands of cloned Bruno Brookes , but they’re all midget versions of him so they can fit more in. Whenever you Shazam , the signal is sent via denpressure between hundreds of towers to the nearest colony of Brunos, who use their encyclopaedic mini music brains to name that tune and send the answer back to you within a minute. Also, Shazam don’t have a “how it works” section at the bottom of their page that I can cut and paste, like 12ft Ladder does.

Aye. That lass shiting in the fountain, another bloke diving in head first and splitting his head open. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Strange set of fans. Almost as if they’ve never been to London. Bizarre.

I thought it was a piss take?

You can also use it to read Luke Edwards’ stuff on the Telegraph. Anyone? Anyone? No, okay…

It’s a grateful goodbye to the players who stood tall when Newcastle fell short. 👍 Glad to help.

About 35,000ft for that daft plane cunt.

Just whack this on and be done with it. ( colour the star in red ).

Sounds to me like this lad needs a new mentor.

“He explained that he’s only paying £28 for his hostel room and has organised a lift from London Stansted airport to Trafalgar square from another fan - and a ride home after the match.” What an attention seeker. It’s not even an original thing to do, I’d rather pay £40 for the bus there and back with all the fellow MLF’s chanting support for pedos the whole way down like Sunderland fans love to do, than have to go through airport security, stay in a stinking cheap hostel alone for a night, go through airport security again, be a massive imposition on someone else having to pick me up from Stansted on their way down to London, have them foot the parking, and then also have them drive me home all smug with the fact that it all cost me far more than the £40 bus. Then again the bloke supports nonces.

On his list.

A great and magnanimous post by a magnificent human being.

Either Andrew is awake or the mods are scared he'll wake up soon.

Not a chance that lot will go for a drink in London pubs. Some public park in London is about to have a red and white tidal wave of Skol drinking bamps

I spoke to Pav the week after he signed, he had bags of whatshop gear. 'family' he said in very limited English nodding at the bags. It probably seemed like Harrods after coming from behind the iron curtain.

"Guys, booked up for a place near Covent Garden in London this weekend. Got a great deal with GNER for train tickets! Anyone got any recommendations for places to eat and drink or any recipes I can make, (it's got a kitchen). I'd be really grateful for any tips and promise I'll make sure to ignore all advice given and just go for a quiet pint in Soho, Covent garden and take in Trafalgar Square. (Don't worry, I'll represent us by wearing a NUFC top!)"

“ Anyone know if there’s a ‘Spewwns in Westminstah?”

Speaking of dogs, I’ve just spent a very enjoyable 20 minutes sending my hairy little shitpurse insane with a laser pointer. Primates 1-0 Canines

http://12ft.io Just for you

Or worst of all... Italian

Fuck off, you've never been that young!

They should just fly in circles around SJP for the duration of the game

Thats quite enough of that