Leaderboard

FFS how many Longstaff brothers are there?

contract was negotiated by west ham's new recruitment chief

In 4… Donna from Elswick. “ Ewww! Grey pubes! No thanks Grandad!” In 3. Tracey, Sharon and Karen “ Welcome to Greys Club!” In 2 Kelly, Kay and Claire… He’s gone for the canon Steve, sink the brown off the pink! In 1 School’s out!

I'm probably wrong but I'm not sure about Lingard or Coutinho I much prefer a Johnny foreigner I've never heard of

This is different…. message boards are an anachronism nowadays. They’re something from the first decade of the internet being widely available in work places and homes. They have charm, wit and a strange but very touching intimacy at times. Podcasts are full of narcissists who all want to be famous. Don’t know why anyone would want to get involved with one Dave tbh

He says, on a messageboard filled with other cunts opinions about football...

In a similar spirit; I don't care if he stays or goes. He's our most creative, most unpredictable, biggest threat, by a mile. He's our least reliable, most frustrating, biggest liability, by a mile. There are better players out there in his position who we could get with the kind of funds his sale + our wealth allow. His position is not the priority for this upcoming window and better players in other positions would have a greater impact on our fortunes next season.

Didn’t he say the PL was too physical for him or whatever? How the fuck would he know?

Tbf I’ve went back and had a read and the mood turned against ASM when Clarko aka Mr Logic came on here like Scrappy Doo setting about the whole forum.

Aye, I think it's in St. Paul's Letter to the Corinthians somewhere.

I used to love those episodes of Gazzetta Football Italia when James Richardson was sat on a terrace outside Il Duomo supping on a Cobra as he demolished a Lamb Bhuna.

Yes, we heard it somewhere first…

cig’s youngest brother: half snout

Let’s not forget signing an out of contract Bernard the day after the window closed. Did he make a single appearance for the first team after that? More chance of Jimmy Bullard buying one of his crepes than that signing working out

Don’t let the mackems see that, they’re convinced anything that touches South Shields belongs to them so he is therefore now a MLF.

Why the fuck do I need to listen to some other cunts opinions about football? There’s something fuckin wrong with you mate if you need to be told what’s just happened in the game

“Per prima cosa, prendi 6 litri di salsa Loyd Grossman…”

Confucius say: Weeding doesn't stop with first daffodil

Ah yes, those famous staples of authentic Italian cuisine, curry and mayo.

that was a joke?

Lingard is asking too much apparently so it would be very funny if we were to steal Coutinho

Not sure, but Paddy Power will give you odds on it.

I love the fact the home shirt is a simple design with 8 / 9 stripes. That is classic NUFC for me - not the wide 3 / 4 striped nonsense we've seen in recent years.

I'm of similar thinking and am also comfortable knowing that Eddie will be the best person to judge whether he should be kept or sold.

(I love you really, man!)

It was right up your snarky arsehole!

He's only on 20p a week so it's ok

Only another 5m for commercial deals? That's Ashley and Penfold thinking. I am hoping for 50m from some completely unrelated company which happens, purely coincidentally, to have its head office in Jeddah.

“Are you sure you want to say the message from that chair?….. okay maybe lose some of the medals and jewelry?… no you’re right it’s definitely not too much, you’ll definitely come across well”

That's it - safe.

Says it’s to the tune of The Grand Old Duke York. Lyrics- “The grand old Duke of York He said he didn’t sweat So why did he pay 12 million quid To a girl he’d never met?” Absolute Banger.

Conversely, we can overlook a players defensive frailties if he's doing the business at the other end. Unfortunately ASM doesn't manage that either. I'd say the only thing he's bringing to the side at the moment is legs. When we're under the cosh, he's usually a decent outlet if we can get it to him as he has the ability to run the ball out of defence... although he invariably runs into trouble in the final third, loses the ball and puts us back under pressure again.

ANNOUNCE ARAMCO!!!!!

Yeah his spirit definitely lives on in this thread I still like ASM tbh. Maybe he won't be good enough long term but he's easily someone we can go into next season with. Not an urgent replacement IMO. Striker and central defender for me. And a left back if we can't secure Targett - and in case Howe wants to do a version of Pardew's greatest hits.

Next season kit leaks?

you think this is tedious? Be thankful you weren’t around during the semi-legendary “is viana a defensive midfielder?” debate of 2004

I'm not expecting him to be excellent defensively but I am asking for some effort. The aim is the same at any PL, you need 11 men to give 100%. If you look at our winning run a short time ago it wasn't because we had more talent than the opposition, it was because we outworked them. How many times did we hear that our opponents had an off day? It was because we made them have an off day.

FWIW I think the Queen has done an absolute sterling job. Like what people have said, she hasn't put a foot wrong. Well apart from bailing peado out. She is going to be a very tough act to follow and tbf to William, I think he will do a similar job.

Longstaffs last contract was £22k a week, I know a lad that’s family friends with the longstaffs. That’s how I also can deliver top class insider knowledge such as his lass drives a clapped out Corsa because Sean won’t buy her a new car, and his dad was Bruce’s infamous nark.

Edwards had softened his projection to £60-80m ( a leap of 33% by the way) so lets say £75m, plus say £20m from player sales - £95m, then a commercial deal or two swells our FFP envelope to £100m. If we signed Tarkowski, Grillitsch+ Nketiah, we'd have dramatically improved our 1st team and kept our powder dry for a big expense. Conversely if we spend £70m ona few players to improve our first team and suddenly Darwin Nunez becomes available to us for £60m I'd expect us to stretch the 'budget' and sign him too.