Leaderboard

Cat’s eyes for me like

So, buried my uncle yesterday in Arkleston cemetery, Renfrew. Beautiful view of the Trossachs in the distance against the backdrop of Glasgow and the constant hum of the M 8. All felt a bit surreal. Think I mentioned I was a pall bearer and nearly shat myself when I saw the size of the coffin. Managed okay though but have mild backache today. Feeling mentally strong, just hope this is the last funeral for a while . Cheers again for all your kind words guys over the past few months lads, really has helped me. Determined to appreciate life as much as I can because it really is fleeting. Something about the cemetery and its location brought that home to me in particular. The hills will be there long after I cease to exist but will unobserved, by me at least. Maybe all of humanity the way things are going. Sometimes I wish I had faith but unfortunately for me truth always trumps faith. Just the way it is.

She's more likely to be covered in Lamb Bhuna.

He promises a champagne enema, but delivers a Loyd Grossman Bhuna. Get rid.

There’s open access to a lot of university coursework, mainly US ones, which might be something both @PaddockLadand @Howmanheyman might find useful? With a bit of digging you could find something to scratch the learning itch without shagging the wallet. I’m bang in to my history, particularly medieval and pre-medieval Britain, and love reading about new theories/discoveries If you tell me what period/topic of history you’re interested in I’ll see if I can find any links and hoy them up later. … or you could buy a bucket and spade and dig up rusty spoons

Maybe if ASM had more than 8 successful crosses all season then Wood might have scored a few more. For comparison, Ryan Fraser has had 33 successful crosses despite playing 1000 minutes less.

Apparently so, but my mind just can’t compute that…. No but I’m going to be doing something…probably an access to higher education thing…might do A level Maths & the engineering access course because I passed the adult version of GCSE maths earlier this year, which may not sound like much but I could barely count at school so I will admit to being chufffed as fuck with it I fancy doing English too (A at O Grade, O level in England ) but I think it would be too much with a full time job…Love history, just about everything I read is about someone dead and I do realise I bang on about it a lot on here, but I think it would bore me if I had to do some subject or period I had no real interest in….

Will delete immediately

Sorry, that was far too well thought out and reasonable. It’ll have to go I’m afraid

I live in that Blue dot. I'm either a Mackem or a Mag depending on whether I go out the front or back door

dummet gets a one year extenson - makes sense to give him a short-term deal

The Eddie Stobart one second from the back has nothing but jars of curry sauce in

Shut up everybody, something incredible could happen if we all cross our fingers https://www.sunderlandecho.com/sport/football/sunderland-afc/william-storey-led-consortium-launches-new-ps42m-takeover-bid-at-sunderland-reports-3681599 The Don and the 90s Throwback are apparently very keen to sell to Gandaft. I’m sure he can’t actually provide proof of funds but imagine.

She knows Bukkake isn't Newcastle's new signing put it that way

So I guess the question is, 10 years down the line, has CT turned his Mrs. in to a plasterer’s radio or is every sperm still sacred? ( Mrs. F. keeps a pack of wet wipes and a shower cap in her drawer ). Giddup!

I love their weird thing about Gateshead too. As if it’s completely insane people from Gateshead support Newcastle, who would have thought a town that’s about 200 meters from Newcastle would have Newcastle supporters. They’re fucking unreal.

Spot on. This is why I totally disagree with any calls to build a team around him, he’s absolutely not that sort of talent or player. He’s a complete individual and as you’ve pointed out completely oblivious to the flaws in his own game. I saw something by the other 14 that showed him as creating the most chances, 45, in the league outside of top 6 players. While it might be the case I think a lot of those chances are either missed due to his own dog shit finishing, or as Fish pointed out with the example where he passed late to Bruno - he’s delayed the pass and while a chance was created it’s not a clean one or he’s at least made it more difficult than it needed to be. Personally I’m not a fan of him as a player, I totally get most disagree with me but I think for most the time he plays he’s either a passenger or a downright liability. I also don’t think he was better under Bruce, I just think the complete lack of shape or plan made him look better, his runs were exciting and he had no options anyway so it was seen as our only chance at goals, whereas now there is a shape and a plan, he has options on most of his runs but he just refuses to take them. As your other post pointed out his crossing is frankly a total fucking embarrassment. I agree with him that he would probably set up more with better players, but every single player could say that - put Chris wood in the 2008 Barca team and he’d score more than he has here, it’s a stupid comment and makes him look a complete arsehole. The fact is for all his bluster and stats about his dribbling (btw can we all fucking agree having the most dribble attempts doesn’t equate to being the best at it), he hasn’t scored a goal since January 15th, and before his assist against Norwich hadn’t set one up since we played Watford back in September. He can moan about quality of players but Bruno has almost caught him up in terms of goals and assists with far less games, and from a far deeper position, yet has the same players around him.

Even the fucking label says 'Serves 2-3'. So that's 12-18 servings that by his own admission he's devoured in 2 sittings.

I don't think that's wholly true, there'll be plenty of players there now who were their previously. I do think Rayvin is right about the mentality thing. The manner of the collapses isn't because Guardiola doesn't know how to see out games, he's done it plenty of times before. The manner of the collapse is because the players on the pitch see the finishing line and panic. Like when CT's on his way home and needs a piss, he's fine 5 minutes away, panics at the driveway, sweating as he puts the key to the lock, fumbles and gently sobs as the damp patch grows on his khaki capri pants. Again.

I've never met a Chelsea fan who wasn't a cunt and I've worked in London for 40 years. Its an infallible law So yes I hope they go bust

Meaningless substitute on Sunday, in for Arsenal and Burnley.

Wife beating gobshite spins words for bites.

Think this has probably been blown out of proportion tbh, the French football press are as bad as ours for printing things out of context. I would keep him next season, give him a bit of love (some players need that rather than a kick up the arse) and surround him with better players. If his end product doesn’t improve after that then he would need to go because it’s not been good enough this season.

Speaking of which, where is the bloody match thread? @wykikitoon , pull your finger out you angry bastard!

Things you love to see ....

I'm a City fan. Absolutely gutted about last night. And yes it hurts, But City are still living the dream. Dining at the top table (there's plenty of room on it for you guys) and taking part in some insane games. Went last week and we paid the price for not being clinical enough. Glad you guys stayed up. I always felt (well since January) that you would. Now that you're safe i don't suppose you could take it easy for the rest of the season. Yes i'm a City fan but i'm rooting for Chelsea in the FA Cup and Madrid in the CL. Right how else can i distract myself. ps There are some people saying that if we don't win the league that Pep should go but thats crazy, we'll probably end up of with 90+ points!

FYP

I've heard you like a tidy lawn and trim it weekly? Meenzer likes lavender and Alex is happy to for his garden to grow bushy from what I can make out.

When I was at primary school me and mate got called out of assembly to speak to some policemen. We had been on the A174 over the weekend with a screwdriver trying to nick a cats eye out of the motorway. What a pair of fucking weirdos.. Tenuous link

Didn’t have pizza base, used 8 sacks of boiled rice. Didn’t have tomato ragu, either, used 6 FUCKING JARS OF LOYD GROSSMAN BHUNA!!!!!!

Not Maxy. Actually that reminds me about the line from Luke Edwards about Bruce being a ‘human shield’ taking the flak for the players’ inadequacies. That aged well

/just to stop Gemmill getting his knickers in a twist

“Never hesitated to protect us” didn’t he throw the players under the bus basically any opportunity he had to do so?

Big things expected tomorrow.......biggest flag display plus a special black cat eyes display🤣....fucking retards

CT’s weekly online shopping has arrived.

The other funny thing about this seethe re Wor Flags and the Heed is that the mackems tried jumping in the bandwagon for their last match. Predictably it was a shite effort. And I’m a cynical old twat but I was at the Liverpool game and I thought it looked fucking great tbh

They're absolutely obsessed with everything south of the Tyne being their territory. One of my mates in the past suggested that if the Tyne continued south around Heworth, picked up the Wear at around its intersection with A19 and the current Tyne east of Walker was filled in, the Mackems would want nothing to do with the Boldons, South Shields, Marsden etc as it's all be 'filthy Mag-land'. I can't disagree with him.

They’re nicknamed The Tynesiders ffs 😂

South Shields, the football club apart, is another place they think they have ownership rights over. Despite it having more Newcastle fans, it being part of the same urban conurbation as Newcastle and the people there being fortunate enough not to speak with a mackem twang

Wahey!

Sounds like he wants away and, if he does, it speaks volumes given the recent events / future trajectory of the club. Nee wonder he loved Bruce “er, Allan, yee just dee what you want”

The issue for me is his comments suggest he consistently provides 'slide-rule' through balls that his team-mates fail to capitalise on. We all know that not to be the case. Invariably he loses possession and fails to track back when he does so.

Go on then, seeing you've laid it on a plate...... It's no Newcastle Natter, is it?

Baker to Mellor might be even worse than Rafa to Biffa Bacon

Do you think he's bought a small jar of curry paste and thought, 'that'll never do a family of five?' so bought five more not realising how to use it?

No further comment required

I've just read this thread. Fuck me CT You make me laugh lad. You fucking do, don't ever change

South Sheyalds for me, marra. FTM.

That's a bit of a pessimistic view tbh. He's advanced since leaving us and he's hit the stagnation, depression and hatred ahead of schedule in his first season.