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Reflective. It's 25 years ago today since I lost my Mam. In terms of dealing with the loss, I processed that many, many years ago but I'm always reflective on 3 days of the year - Mother's Day, her birthday and today. It's always about the happy stuff, and I try to block out most of the hell we went through in the last 18 months with her but one memory that does stick in my mind is when she going through a particular bad spell, bed ridden and on the verge of being admitted to the hospice she had fuck all energy and slept most of the day, but that didn't stop her screaming down the stairs "have you heard!! We've signed Alan Shearer!!!" It's less about that she's not here and more that ¼ century has passed since then. Utterly mental.

We drove past each other this morning about six o'clock both on our way to work. We gave each a mutually appreciative, manly nod, it was clearly a meeting of minds on grandstand road, He truly understood that there are Adam Pearson's in this world, waiting for you with his camera out, gurning like a dribbling goon with a real and present danger of giving you covid but there's also the HMHM's at Newcastle and that's what clearly makes his job worthwhile.......

Their behaviour is about half as weird as the bloke that's tracking them on his phone.

One fan was enough surely.

If you make a loss then there’s no corporation tax to pay.

That's exactly what I telepathically told him to say in the press conference. 10/10 to Eddie for the correct interpretation.

So two then.

I thought for a minute you were saying he didn't ref the match. I know he did because the bloke sat next to me, in the family enclosure i hasten to add, screamed "How, George! You're supposed to be a Geordie, ya useless fucking cunt!"

Says more about you than it does CT tbh

Start calling her Mong Tong Phooey. Let us know how it goes.

Have you thrown up in a wine glass?

I bet Diego doesn't though, and that's what really matters.

Not that it comes up much anymore after 6 years but my Manc lass says the word “Tongue” wrong, and it’s probably the worst thing about her

Wonder when the first Adam P-Cast will drop. “I’m in the bushes outside Eddie’s house…he’s just gone into the bathroom but is it a one or a two?”

You don't have to fucking tell me mate. I was fucking all for doing the fucking whole thing over fucking Teams (like we do every fucking day) but OhhhhhHHhh fucking NooOooOOooo we had to have an in-fucking-person Team Day. Where we fucking dick about with fucking quizzes and fucking Paddington fucking Bear fucking treasure fucking hunts around fucking Little Venice for two fucking hours. ....fucking

Well done Dave.

Billy Joelinton

Barton had about 1 good season and goes on like he’s Mr Newcastle whenever he’s interviewed. Can’t be doing with it

I’ll piss myself laughing if it’s held in Riyadh though

Love me long wine

She's called Kim Tongue Thumb Cum

'Shakespeare came to sit and think I came here to shit and stink. FTM.'

Cowabunga

We’re all Saxons round our way chief “MOREBATTLE and MOW, a parish in the district of Kelso, county of Roxburgh; 7½ miles (S. S. E.) from Kelso. The name of Morebattle is supposed to have been derived from the SAXON words Mere, "a marsh," and Botl, "a hamlet," descriptive of its state in former times, when it seems to have been to a considerable extent under water. “

They just need to convince the fans to do free shit for the club on a much more regular basis. "Ere marra, ah won the fan of the month competition on safc.com. Eh? So did you?! Dinnit tell uz you got the same first prize...." *they both shout simultaneously* "SELLING BURGERS AT THE REFRESHMENTS KIOSK ON A MATCH DAY" "EH?!" "YA FUCKING WHAT LIKE?!" "THAT IS PEWAH BULLSHIT MARRA." "YA DINNIT NEED TO TELL ME MARRA" This goes on for a while.

Mission- fly over the NUFC training ground at Benton. Pilot- “ Weeeeee! Prudhoe, Consett, Durham, Gateshead, Meeeeoooowwwwmmmm, sunderland, Washington “

Aye it’s the same fucking nonsense as when we’re all told we shouldn’t support NUFC anymore, then the same journalists sprint to planes off to Saudi Arabia etc to cover sporting events before saying “it’s my job”. Edwards is a massive bellend like, he’s basically done what a lot of our ex-players have done, took the piss or give us the old “you expect too much this is your level” schtick for years and now expect to join in the ride. The lot of them can get fucked.

Remarkable stupidity

Hahah remember him on Question Time with his librarian glasses on and the first thing he comes out with is a deeply mysoginistic simile about fat women.

Alex Neil found this note in his drawer when he took over.

btw if anyone wants a laugh just search Eddie Howe Celtic on Twitter some of the most bitter, and worst opinions going.

Soft? Yes Midlands? Questionably Drinking? absolutely La La, I won't refute that SHANDY? I will knife fight you, right now!

Creepy AF

Schar signed new 2 year deal, it’s like a new signing. Good move

#MathematicalSafetyParty

Latest episode with Luke Edwards. I got 5 minutes in before I had to turn off. The bloke is a 100% cunt. He said he was depressed going to games during lockdown. FUCK ME YOU SELF CENTRED CUNT. At least you were allowed to game and even allowed to travel about you fucking nonce.

Putin is fucked like. Wobbling about the gaff like he’s had a few tequila slammers too many, the mad cunt. We’re fucked once he gets the terminal diagnosis. This has concluded my political overview of the situation.

Celebrating the sale of another two printer cartridges

I dunno, sending random women pictures of my Japenese eye just doesn't sound as sexy.

I’m sure he said he was retired …

We’re not having the Mancs or you Lowland Scots, thanks very much

But don’t comment on the WBA manager’s performance unless you support them

That and his attempted transformation to misunderstood intellectual

Beck’s Vier or something? The proper small bottles of Beck’s was probably my introduction to decent lager. Still a nice tipple

Link it FFS