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Reminds me of the time I was in Mykonos (my sister got married on a Mediterranean cruise and it was one of the stops) and my cousin’s husband (Mackem I might add ) said to me in slight trepidation “What’s that?” I said “it’s a pelican”. He replied “fucking hell, I thought it was a dinosaur!” It was only when I saw his face that I realised he was being serious. Aye, mate. You can still get dinosaurs in Greece

Did you? Bit over the top for when watching a Liverpool match, Wykiki lad, but finding the positives, we've finally found someone you appear not to hate.

Fucking hell, I'm sat here on day three of brutal food poisoning and I'm still less likely to be shitting my pants than CT is over relegation mathematics!

Old men crying with joy and morlocks surfacing in daylight.

No change there then

CT in January next year when we hit 40 points.

I hope we make Athletico look 70's Brazil and absolutely shithouse a 0-0

One man would, if he could actually work it out

Al-Rumayyan on the pitch after the match, playing with a calculator.

Get Wor Flags on the case. "MATHEMATICAL SAFETY HAS NOW BEEN OFFICIALLY SECURED" across the entire length of the East Stand. Inspirational.

TURKEY (population 76 million) is joining the EU and Newcastle United could still get relegated. The threats are REAL, people!

My Mrs. was watching Nora from Queens yesterday and it had the “I see dead people” kid on, who’s now a fat adult. Aaaanyway, he says a line “ My middle name is Bukkake!” just as our 11yr old son walked in. “Why you laughing Mam, what’s Bukkake mean ?” After I’d stopped choking with laughter I told him it’s Japanese for “ a bit of a mouthful” which he seemed happy enough with. Beat that @Christmas Tree

Tough tough test for us. Would like to see us competing better than we have against the top sides. If Liverpool play like today I think we can get 3 points. However I cannot see it. The big toothed cunt in charge won't allow them to do that and they are starting ahead of City so will want to pressure on them. 'H'way Lads, get a point min and I'll treat thee to tha laundary doing pet'

Pickford’s out of reach

the fans would be up in arms.

Think it was a Man U Forum I saw where they fucking slaughtered them not just for that but basically said what they see when coming up against them and realised they were basically the fucking orcs from LotRs. I seem to recall one who visited RTG questioning if there was a dyslexia/ADHD problem with the fans on the website? They sometimes fly under the radar of a lot of other fans of traditional big clubs until they actually meet them! One first little step is to wonder why they fly under the radar?

Speaking of logical safety, 30 years ago this very day!

Did you see Sam West’s response to Dowden’s St.George Day flag wanking? They really are thicker than castle walls.

Poisoned by 5G

I’m quite the opposite, I care about the result and want to make it as difficult as possible for them. We’re nowhere near being able to compete by having a go. They’re one of the best five sides on the planet.

Don’t care about the result. It’d be nice to see us just have a go and see if we can compete rather than try to contain them

Pluck? Thrum?

Friendship Trophy. Because of ships, that used to be built on a river… marras

She looks like Rooney’s little sister who was expelled from the school for kids who have been expelled from school

Championship, can you handle this?

She is, you sexist pig

Is he really? Any chance we can arrange an acid trip?

He’s a gargantuan cunt like. Imagine the good he could with a fraction of that.

That’s as fucking boring as I expected it to be

Severed their special relationship with Manchester United (of buying Man Utds dross) iirc.

Didn't these simpletons do the Poznan against Man Utd when City won the league one year?

Fucking Hell, that's an actual real thing?

Lap of honour on game 14 by players and staff to crown this achievement. Visiting Leicester City players look on with bemusement, joined by the rest of the country.

That’s what happens when you refer to quote of the day desk calendar instead of knowing the actual source / context

Post-match dressing room photograph. "No one goes home until we work out if we're mathematically safe or not!"

Woah!!!! That kid doesn't realise that the 'Friendly cup' (or whatever the daft cunts called it?) whenever Norwich and Sunderland play each other trumps anything our fans can do. That's a fact, marra. FTM

Ready To Groom meltdown in 3…2…1.

Amanda Pearson

DER BIGGCCCCCHHHHHHHHEST. KKKKCCCHHHCHHCLUB RELEGHHHGHHHCCCHHHATED EVA!

If I had a face like Gordon I'd shave my arse and learn to walk on my hands.

Eat your heart out @The Fish

I am not sure if you know... Howe was in Madrid in Atletico training camp some days before he sign as a Newcastle Coach learning Simeone style and tactics. For nothing.