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If there was a magic bullet that worked for everyone then I suppose no one would have a drinking problem in the first place. And it's not like what I've done has been flawlessly successful - I lapsed several times in my first year, and I had a few more wobbles during the worst of the Covid lockdowns too. But I think it's really important not to see that as a "back to square one" failure like AA would have you believe. For me the main thing is the intent. If you come to the conclusion that you really do want to (and need to) stop drinking, and you start taking steps to achieving that, it's completely fine to fuck up along the way as long as you're moving in the right direction overall. Think of it as training for a marathon. You wouldn't expect every training run to be better than the last one - you'll have days where it doesn't go like you want it to, you'll have injuries and niggles and setbacks and days when you can't be arsed, all of that. The main thing is the broader picture. That's why I see December 2013 as "when I stopped drinking", even if I haven't abstained completely ever since - it's the moment when it clicked with me, even if it took a while to unlearn some pretty unhealthy behaviours and get the right tools in place. Absolutely no one can do that from one day to the next, and if they say they can, they're a liar (or they're setting themselves up for a massive relapse one day). So I think you do need to internalise what you said there - "the negatives now greatly outweigh the positives" - and keep hammering that home until it begins to stick. "Never drinking again" does feel like a big imposition when you frame it like that, but "never feeling like absolute shit after drinking again" is a pretty good incentive if you can flip it round that way instead. For what it's worth, I went to in-person meetings with a group called SMART Recovery for about nine months in 2014-15 (and then again online for a few months after my lockdown wobble). I found them really useful, and I don't think they're necessarily just for people who have a more "conventional" addiction (i.e. using every day or whatever). They deal in science-based approaches, digging into why we do what we do and challenging the thinking that leads you to engage in addictive behaviours. A lot of it is CBT-adjacent, cost-benefit analyses, that kind of thing - the stuff your logical brain knows really but that you're liable to throw out of the window when you're feeling shit and just want to get blitzed, so the more you work through it and internalise it, the more chance there is of you applying it when it comes to the crunch. I don't know if there's anything like that around your way, but I'd definitely recommend an evidence-/science-based approach over AA, which I tried for one meeting and found to be absolutely depressing - all that "I realised I was powerless in the face of my addiction" stuff - bollocks. The choice to drink is just that, it's a choice you make, so you can also choose not to. The point is not to surrender yourself to your feelings, but to work out what it is you're feeling and what you're telling yourself that gives you the "permission" to make that choice in the first place against your better judgement - and, consequently, how to make different decisions in the moment. (Absolutely no shade meant on AA, it works well for a lot of people, I just think you're probably like me in the way your brain approaches these things and I imagine you'd benefit from something more rational.) In practical terms, cravings are definitely a right bugger, and for all they've lessened greatly for me over time, they still kick in in my weaker moments. There's nothing that definitely always works for me - it's a bit different every time. Sometimes a non-alcoholic drink scratches the itch enough (including in a pub environment, if you feel confident to do so without hitting a real drink - sometimes "low-stakes social contact" is actually the itch that needs scratching), sometimes pigging out on unhealthy food does the trick (not exactly a long-term option, but practically speaking it's a far lesser evil in the moment), or sometimes you just need to distract yourself or exercise or just get out of the house and have a change of scene until you can ride it out. Weirdly I found myself eating loads of Haribo after I first stopped, without asking myself why - turns out the body craves the sugar as much as the actual effect of the alcohol, so that's quite a common side-effect of stopping drinking. Tangfastics instead of Tanqueray. Who knew? I realise the above is all a bit stream-of-consciousness and I'm not sure any of it will be actively useful, but there's some jumping-off points there at least. Feel free to PM me any time if you want to, obviously, though if you're happy keeping the discussion here then it might help others too, you never know!

Yeah, I'm sure you were throwing your weight around in school Craig.

Don't apologise man. You've been through the ringer. It's perfectly human to feel your feelings. You don't need to 'snap out of it', you just need time to process it. And while there is a lot to process, you can absolutely do it. You just need a little help, that's all. If that help comes from reading dumb shit on here about CT's micropenis, or Wykiki ranting about... whatever the fuck bee is in his bonnet today, then that's grand. If that help comes from writing out what's on your mind, then do that too.

Mad photoshop skills, bruv.

The Man The Beast

you dont want to know how long that took me..... 😢

It's like a Hollywood trailer; Narrator: gipetto was just a run of the mill marra..... [cuts to mackem walking out of his front door, smiling and waving to a a neighbour wearing a red and off-white striped shirt].....Narrator: in a run down, run of the mill, dirty town......[now cuts to him getting on a bus into town going to the match]....... Narrator: but gipetto had a dark secret, unknown even to himself......[cuts to mackem turning up at the Stadium of light and scratching his head looking at the club programme]........Narrator: gipetto was the lost memory man! .....[cuts to mackem again].....Gipetto: "Wheez this? Accrington Stanley? An FA cup gayum in September??"...... Narrator: Gipetto thought that the Sunderland soccer team were in the top division of England and had just beaten their arch nemesis, the Newcastle United magpies by nine goals to one.......[cuts to mackem looking at a newspaper hoarding and seeing Saudi Arabians maybe buying Sheffield United]....... Gipetto: "Theya lukkun at buying Sheffeyld United but not Sunnalin?"

Cheers. Had a long talk to my mate and my mum. Course of action is to seek help immediately from the GP, do whatever I need to do to quit the booze fot good, and concentrate on my relationships. Today will be the hardest day for me. I'm rattling like fuck now. Hope I still have a job next week, I've been useless this year so far. I fucking hate myself truth be told but I know I'm loved by those who matter. Cheers all.

First bit doesn't matter a bit. I got my first diagnosis of high anxiety and severe depression about two decades ago. First therapist reckons I've had it longer but it just went undiagnosed. I had a happy home life, comfortable upbringing, went to Uni, had great friends, was doing well in courses etc. Compared to others I had no reason to feel depressed but I was. Since then I've had periods of my life which have been 'rough' or stressful and so it's obvious as to why I was feeling anxious or depressed. Other times when everything is going well and POW I'm floored by it. I've a very clear memory of sitting on a beach in western Australia, sea breeze gently cooling my sun kissed* head, cold beer in hand, and sobbing like relegated mackem. An ouroboros of sadness and guilt/shame for feeling sad when I've nowt to be sad about and so on and so on. I couldn't cope with that nonsense, you're having to cope with real things. And you will. Because you're smart, and rational and not just a doppelganger for Gordon Ramsay. You see there's an issue, you're looking for ways to address it, you're asking for help. Those three things are huge and you shouldn't downplay or dismiss them. *fucking incinerated.

Mate, the fact that all of us keep it somewhat together is a miracle and the majority of us haven’t had the 18 month or so you’ve had. The fact you acknowledge that it’s destructive at all is definitely a positive in this situation, I’d say.

One of the comments.....'He's wearing Barry Taylor's shorts'

He's the kind of kit at school who you dragged outside the classroom, beat the shit out of him and the teacher looked the other way. Everyone fucking hates them.

I've recently finished six months of CBT and found it incredibly helpful, which for someone like me who never discusses feelings was a big change. One thing I was insistent on was that it was face to face as I really didn't fancy doing it over the likes of Zoom. If you're not comfortable with the councillor you have then it's unlikely to yield results for you. Maybe book a consultation with a new one and generally by the end of that session you should know if you're a good fit. If not then you walk away and try another one.

Once again Shola has been disgracefully overlooked.

I hope Ten Haag is an absolute fucking disaster for Man United. It would be great to see the fall even further back over the next few years.

Catts for me like

It’s probably because Schteve speaks fluent Dutchlish.

Because that would be Mag behaviour.

Definitely sounds like the kind of thing I'd say. Mind, I had to shift at least 20kg of vodka-infused timber before running was an option. Not saying it'll necessarily be like this for you, but I found this got (a bit!) easier once I had properly given up, rather than just trying to have a bit of time off here and there. You can make it your thing, say it out loud so other people become aware of it, even be a bit absurd about it. For a while my standard bar order was "what's your most ridiculous soft drink?". There's nothing quite like making your mates come back from the bar with five beers and a Fentiman's Rose Lemonade. Either way, it's more definitive and while there'll always be some people who still want you to drink with them to justify their own drinking, these days most people absolutely get it. You don't owe them an explanation and nor should one be expected. Saying you're looking after your health or doing it for the kids or just "I'm too old for hangovers" is absolutely fine really. No one needs to know the full story. And if that feels like too much, just say "doctor's orders!" and have a follow-up line in your pocket about being on antibiotics or something. Plenty of ways to navigate the social pressure as long as you're willing to navigate yourself in the first place. As much as it pains me to agree with the Fish, he's spot on. There's lots of people never even get this far. Keep digging, there's gold in them hills

Essembee’s in the Home bath with his “voice to text” switched on.

Death, taxes and CT coming on and twisting about his fucking greed catching up to him

Newcastle women v Barnsley women

Imagine if they got an attendance higher than the 34,000 Sunderland did against Shrewsbury last weekend

[quote] Liverpool are the latest club to show an interest in revolutionary sight training technology that developers hope will take the world of professional football by storm. i detailed how the “Okkulo” is helping to train goalkeepers and improve technique by effectively “training in the dark” and it has been shown to improve ‘keepers when they’ve worked with clubs at League One and League Two level. Liverpool goalkeeper coach Claudio Taffarel paid a visit to the Okkulo facility at Sunderland’s training ground last week, along with Wolves’ Tony Roberts, to see it in action. The system works on the idea that training in low light levels slows down visual processing. To compensate, the brain subconsciously filters out unnecessary movement, helping goalkeepers’ reflexes to speed up, while outfield players report crisper, sharper touches. The Black Cats are the first to have an “on site” facility, which has been used by players returning from injury as well as the club’s goalkeepers. And it is the potential to improve the reaction times of goalkeepers which has piqued the interest of the Reds. Liverpool are renowned for their embracing of new technology, with incoming Sporting Director Julian Ward regarded by football insiders as someone ready to innovate on new sports science developments.[/quote] Training in the dark to save on the leccy.

My lass is desperate for us to do Glastonbury next year and I’ve told her it’s one of those luxury tents with space heaters and showers or it’s nowt. “The festival experience” of sitting in your own filth and holding in a shite for 2 days at a time because the toilets are like an abattoir holds no appeal. Get me away from those scruffy bastards.

https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/sheff-utd-£115-million.1576849/ Second comment down..."How come there isn't much interest in buying us? Its bizarre".........because your shit

Lingard is exactly the type of signing we should avoid imo. Think he is coming up 31, never been a regular starter apart from that one season at West Ham and he would also cost a fortune in wages despite nobody being sure if he actually worth it. Bruno is the archetype of what we should be targeting, young, something to prove with good technical ability and who wants to be at Newcastle United.

How do we know that isn’t a Mag posting as a mackem?

Other way around for me but I could’ve flipped a coin to be honest. Bruno and Trippier are the best players but the impact of the other two has been immense. Burn has allowed the defence to play about 10 yards further up the pitch. But Joelinton has been instrumental in allowing us to get a grip of the game in the middle of the park. As others have mentioned lately, even if we don’t control the game we make damn fucking sure the opposition’s play is disrupted.

Pretty sure CT was when Pearson started out

Should give Lewis a game since he is like a cowardly female[\Essembee]

Are you gonna just take that Tom?

For fucks sake lads

Think it’s fair to say that he’s a confirmed danger and, if I didn’t have the inkling that he was secretly asexual, I suspect there will be a disgraced fall, involving DMs and dirty language that’s in the post.

It's tough because the season hasn't finished and Guimaraes might continue his goal scoring run and propel us into the top half, but I've gone for Joelinton because he ticks so many boxes. Improvement, endeavour, attitude, shithousery, he's even scored a couple of goals too. Other player have improved, but none have had quite the renaissance as big Joe. He's one of the few players I can think of to turn fans opinion round so dramatically. To go outside the club to improve himself was a mark of his character and to take on this new role in the team so enthusiastically is remarkable.

"It was knocking on 11.30pm after a 1-0 victory over Crystal Palace night as Eddie Howe stood in the shadow of the Sir Bobby Robson statue at St James' Park posing for pictures with the gaggle of fans who had waited behind to greet the Newcastle manager." "He was pretty much the last person to leave the stadium - having earlier led Newcastle to their sixth home win in a row. It was the first time any Magpies team had achieved that feat since 2004 - when the club was then led by the legendary Sir Bobby himself." "Spending time with the fans who had waited in the cold for two hours just to say hello was also the sort of thing the former England boss would do." https://www.skysports.com/football/news/11095/12595303/how-eddie-howe-has-transformed-newcastle-and-restored-hope-at-st-james-park-reporters-notebook

Still saving up for the shorts? Another 50 or so videos and he should be able to raise the funds.

If I could be reincarnated with one super power, it would be the ability to fail upwards. McClaren somehow wrangling a job back at Man United after a decade of abject, embarrassing, failure. Football is ridiculous

Burnley could well beat Wolves who will be playing in their flip-flops. Probably ones with sequins embedded in, the Portuguese are mad for sequinned clothes

He knows how to get his message through.

"Missed out on Van Der Beek and Alli"

This is legitimately difficult for the right reasons for the first time in years The new players have been great but it's got to be joelinton. His finishing is as shit as ever but everything else about him has been transformed. Finding out about the extra work he was doing to get better under bruce changed my opinion on him a lot as a person, he is so dedicated and really cares how much effort he puts in on the pitch, he's also the first man on the scene with every goalscorer and seems to be one of the big positive personalities in the squad.

Defoe.

If Burnley beat Wolves at home in the 2pm kickoff on Sunday, Everton will start their match away at Liverpool in the relegation zone. And they'll get fucking pumped off Liverpool.