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TOP TEN FINISH MOTHERFUCKERS!

Imagine the absolute meltdown if we went and spent a fucking fortune on 3-4 players of the Tripper/Bruno level early in the window . You’d have a special about it with Merson wearing his wonky glasses going: “I jast fink it’s a disgwayce Jeff, ow can they allow noocarsell to spend that much? If noocasell spend that then the Villa should be spending twice that”

Keeping it for a family game of spin the bottle after the match.

'I suppose the democratic decision means Wykiki, due to his winning form like, will have to start another match thread'

Fucking hell. We might finish a season winning more games than we’ve lost at this rate

Only 4 teams have failed to win on the first 14 league matches in a season. The first 3 all got relegated Newcastle United: “Hold my fucking pint…." Reminiscent of when no Champions League team had lost the first 3 matches and still progressed from the group stage.

If CT wasn't in the Lakes introducing his 11 year old to sticky biccy, he'd be straight there.

Forgot about this

All the best Rents. Good to see we still have CT with real world problems to put it all in perspective, though.

He has been brilliant recently. Shows what good coaching and tactics can do. Schar, Joelinton, Krafth, Fraser, Shelvey, Willock and even Murphy look like different players. This, and West Brom’s hilarious form just goes to show how much Steve Bruce is stealing a living.

bit hard work listening on the radio hat doffed to whoever chose to play primal scream's moving on up over the tannoy. fucking good record!

Remember when people would say they can’t see where another win would come from in this run of home games, then we’ve went and burst them all

You need to be a member of the secret forum

Commentator on zaha: "I don't think he was looking for a penalty there" Me:

You're spending all the cash you're saving on lasses drinks ya big girls blouse

If it stays like this and Burnley win tomorrow night, that's Everton in the relegation zone and me in the bone zone.

Chris Wood shoots and misses. Eddie Howe:

He's fucking bald royalty. A pureblood. He doesn't even fuck with eyebrows.

Including Hayden will drop the value to about £250k

Maybe it can open a door and you can GTFO?

Refuse to give him a contract but incentivise him with one, only to refuse it at the last minute. Really assume our role as chief bastards of the football world

Christ! It gets worse

Brendan Rodgers: Listen, I'm so happy for the people here and the supporters, there's always a great feeling I think when you come here. It's one of the cities and grounds that I've really enjoyed coming to, whether it's with Swansea or Liverpool or Leicester, so it's great for the supporters because the passion here is incredible. Eddie's come in and made a very good start, and made some really good signings in January. It gives a great hope to the support. I'm pretty sure they'll look to build on it in the summer, but this is one of the iconic football clubs in Britain and I think everyone would feel if you can get it going here, it's going to be a special place. Great atmosphere in the game - we're just disappointed with the result - but, performance wise, we were good and congratulations to Newcastle."

Who did you ask ?

Thought Schar was outstanding tonight, mind. I would still say we need a stronger crop of centre halves in general but him and Burn have got the job for next season, at least

I have to admit that I thought Targett was bang average at Villa, mostly based on his output as a wing back given I didn't watch him week in week out, but he's at least a seven every game. He rarely does anything too spectacular, but he's solid as a rock. He's exactly the sort of Dennis Irwin type player you need in your team, or at the very least an indispensable squad player. If we can get him for 15m that would be a pretty good deal in today's market.

Cheers from the Luke Edwards school of drinking with my mates.

Eddie Howe Manager of the Millennium

This is a 6-in-a-row that actually matters, too. * yes lurking mackems, I’m talking to you

If city can score another 8 we go 10th

Any more dementia riddled anecdotes for us?

Alan Saint Keyser Soze

Thanks

He’s on a caravan park, so money saving incest is a requirement of entry, tbh

Right i fucking definitely want us to finish 11th now.

He’s come straight from a shift down the pit Holly, show some respect!

Holly Blades man

I thought Merson had actually posted for a second.

There’s lots of despicable things about the likes of JRM and one of them is their absolutely revelling in the Ukraine situation and using it as an excuse to ignore everything else.

Popular lass, Mrs. B

"Looka, young'un, be fucking quick, the gorilla's finger is popping oot, cabiche, wor kid?"

The only time Yemen came up in a conversation on Wearside pre-takeover....... 'Yeyaman, ah've never beyan anywhere neya ya shed and ah definitely haven't nicked ya chayensaw."

That pass was really good, if there had been a finish to it we'd all be talking about it. I really want to watch ASM next season, injury free with a full preseason under Howe, with continued improvement in the players around him. Saw several times against Leicester that when we bring wood back to defend set pieces, he's still an absolutely vital out ball, his running and twisting and turning gives so much time for us to get our shape back and take pressure off the defence./

He’s a cyclist- wouldn’t touch drugs with a barge pole.

It really couldn't be any simpler. He's a pessimistic optimist.