Leaderboard

Lads, I’m starting to think that CT may have been wrong again.

Unleashed a mage's spell on our near post there. Dubs with the warlock's shield. Roll again, dickhead.

Excellent. Fucking hell a win tonight would be massive. Mainly to shut that CUNT CT up.

Howe’s done an incredible job. There’s arguably only Trippier and Wilson unavailable that would improve the team. It’s not even Easter and we’ve got practically no chance of being relegated. Look at the bench tonight as well. Virtually fuck all to call on to change things if we go behind. Don’t get me wrong, Burn, Targett and Bruno have been great additions and Wood’s done an invaluable job but it’s been top 6 form this year (or thereabouts). We were fucking dismal under Bruce as well.

I’m getting the word….BINT!

Loving that Howe is saying that we’re playing the way we are now because we have to but he hopes to change that going forward. Complete recognition that this season is about staying up and after that is about real progress.

Have you got the new Samsung Fuckin Massive then?

So, I didn't have much on today and made something a bit(a lot) rough and ready; These are the fixtures for each team from 30 onwards. I looked at teach teams home and away form, while taking into account their overall quality (e.g. Leicester are very good at home, but not great on the road, but they're still a midtable outfit.). I gave a value to each and weighted it. So, the higher the number, the easier the fixture. What's the difference between the two sides? From that I created a rough and ready formula to predict the most likely outcome with a little randomness thrown in because... football. Gives this as a final table. Fwiw, I think it's underestimating a lot of teams, but fuck it, it's rough and ready

If Everton, Leeds and Burnley win, he'll be saddling up for another couple of weeks on the fainting couch. "Guys I don't WANT to be like this! I'm just..... oooooo it's so nervy. I wish I had YOUR confidence. I'm in a right fluffery buffery."

This is how CT speaks to foreigners when he's on holiday. "So... are having bill please?"

Had a quick look on ReadyToGroom and they all fucking hate him for being an arselicker / mag apologist The seethe on there btw. Given we’ve all sold our souls to the devil and they’d never swap with us it’s odd it bothers them so much. It’s almost like the truth is they were ecstatic when the takeover was off and now it’s happened (and we’re not getting relegated) they’ve completely lost what little objectivity they had.

Now we really can just sit back and enjoy the Everton Relegation Show.

If Pedro Neto scores 10 more goals, he becomes Pedro Tesco

Promised !! He’s a tax driver “I promise this is a shorter route”, as the meter lights up like a Vegas slot machine

Good luck with the transition, I've heard it's not easy.

I've never drank with him so no idea, tbh?

Grim lollipop man

To be fair he’s right, no sign of idiots like that for fucking donkeys years and then as soon as there’s this whiff of a takeover (and the preceding takeover) they’re trying to get themselves in front of any camera and on any call in that they possibly can. Finally get to start to move past this horrific narrative things like Sky and TalkSPORT have pushed about us, have more voice as they actually want to converse with our fans and this is what fucking represents us? Fucking hell man. I’d honestly rather that mackem who lives in an attic making up songs about poo castle while rattling jars of rice to be honest.

Title update

We are fucking safe. It's over man. Just fucking done. "Oh but no club has ever survived after failing to win 13 games" "Oh but Saudi Arabia" "Oh but Steve Bruce was actually doing a good job with a championship team" "Oh but we won't sell you players to protect our cartel" FUCK OFF you southern fucking bastard journalists, and you fucking Northern fucking mackem bastard whatevers, and you fucking variably placed top 6 cartel motherfucker clubs that are piss scared of a resurgent Newcastle. I hope you all fucking choke on it! Fucking safe. Done. Fuck off the lot of you.

in that time we’ve gained 24 points. Everton have gained 6!!

When you think where we were at Christmas, if he doesn’t win manager of the season I’ll be… … well, not in the least bit shocked, our end of the table doesn’t count, but we know what he’s done is remarkable.

There’s no way a man goes to his gaffer and asks for Bruno G and Trippier if he’s planning to keep things tight and be conservative in the future. Eddie Howe is a man who, I’m happy to confirm, will be fucking going for it next season

First Sam Fender and now avoiding relegation. Ant and Dec better not start a new TV show or there will be riots on the streets of Houghton

Fucking SHIT.

We ABSOLUTELY need 6 points from those two games. Burnley could win every game and overtake us still

Right if we can beat Wolves at home, there’s no reason we can’t beat Leicester and Palace too.

What a player Bruno is. Let’s never have that discussion about playing Shelvey or Willock over him again please.

Hang on, Bruno’s dad is a taxi driver?

Bruno has been brilliant tonight

Karl Darlow. Really impress the point

That Fabio Silva is big into D&D. Nailed on. Strong Games Workshop vibes.

I meant to be horrible about her. It’s one thing her and the Grim Lollipop Man spouting shite on their YouTube channel. But appearing on Sky etc. as representatives of the fans? They’re a complete embarrassment

( he’s out of shot but his tongue is still 6ft up her hoop.)

She’s like dog shit. Her and her fucking bauble heed were on the local news last night

Hardly the fucking lowdown from her, FFS Is she even old enough to drink brown ale? Not sure what the coat is about either, the sun it out!

Nah Barry was definitely a Wolves fan. There's a lot of mention of 'West Bromwich and District......' during the series but he definitely stated Wolves were his team. The whole Oz / Mackem thing I'm told had to be written because Ian La Frenais was allegedly getting it in the neck that he'd written the script with Dennis, Neville & Oz all supporting NUFC and Sunderland were ignored (sound familiar?!). La Frenais, being the Newcastle fan he is wrote a episode about Sunderland playing a match in Europe simply to take the piss as it was highly unbelievable

My mission, if I choose to accept it…is to stay relatively sober enough not to get kicked out of hospitality. My cousins mentioned “pre gaming” too, so I got drunk last night.

But ... I thought we were getting relegated?

I liked this bit "Stu Elliot: We did something called the forest run which was over the hills: 15, 20-minute run. You were timed. If you were behind Coley you were rubbish, if you were up with Tommy Wright you were really good. There was no analysis. Coley would jog it: ‘I don’t get paid to do running mate, I get paid to put the ball in the back of the net’ that was Coley"

Nokia 3310…