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Keto farts

Shame for the lad, but btw that tweet shows exactly why the whole “United” shit is mental especially when talking in the context of two teams called United .

When I see that Howay has replied, I’m brewing a pot of tea and settling in for the ride.

Dad rang me yesterday he's 85 he tested positive a couple of days ago he's got a cough & chest infection. He's on antibiotics & steroids for the chest infection I'm ringing him this morning for an update. He's been looking after his partner she's had it for a week & he's obviously picked it up from her. They live in in Warrington, luckily we have family members there to drop any food & meds they need. They're both triple jabbed so hopefully that'll help them fight the bastard off.

No, the takeover is dead and people should move on and realise that Staveley is just a time waster who won’t get things done… How is Henry Mauriss, did you say?

Do you...do you think he knows there was a takeover?

If anyone actually thought to listen to this gimp Edwards, here’s his tweet supporting his shite article which gives good insight into why he wrote it: His comments in the replies are basically the same old “the squad is bloated so they need to raise money through player sales” he said the same in January btw before we simply unregistered shite like Clark and Hendrick. Having crap players on the books won’t fucking hold back their plans . Not saying they will spend more, but there’s no evidence to support his bullshit. In addition to what we got they wanted Botman and Carlos (it wasn’t a one or the other thing), Etikite, Lingard, and bid money for other left backs - Edwards is a clueless fuckwit and rather than actually work to be good at his job he has decided to just be a wum. I’m not bothered what we spend tbh, I trust the new owners to buy well now but I do know I don’t trust a word mr nee friends writes.

Right, time to open up that doping investigation for last summer. A fucking preposterous anomaly. Throw that 100m sprinter in as well, that was dodgy as fuck

I think it’s tongue in cheek tbh, he has been critical about City’s commercial deals in the past because they are mostly closely linked to the owners.

Glad he did so well in his return to the club and it wasn’t just a desperate PR stunt that went tits up

You couldn't accuse Owen of lying when he claims he can still fit into kit from his playing days. Not referring to hospital gowns there either.

Now Toonotl says it I can remember all the charvas saying “here man if ya divvint shut up I’m going to come owa there and spin on your nob”

This spreadsheet is going to be an absolute menace to maintain once we're top of the league. I can see it now. Five years from now ... Gemmill: Here man, we're mathematically safe from relegation AND top of the league. Don't make me come down to Boldon and spin on your knob. (editor's note: sorry I can't keep up with the meaning of half the north-east slang you use in your attempted come ons to CT but I think I've got the gist of it.) *posts spreadsheet with all 20 teams on it as further foreplay*

Why the fuck do charvas need to constantly update people about their whereabouts when on the metro system?

I think his full name is “FOR FUCK SAKE, MAN SAINT-MAXIMIN, STOP BEING A SMART ARSE”

grass

But... but...

I suppose the Italians can’t really name their ship after a WW2 leader Call the next one HMS Pepperoni or something.

'cmon say something stupid so I can block you.' Time to come off twitter, Luke. No, honestly.

You should see his xP stats

And again with his boss.

Spin on your nob will now be in my daily lexicon

Some good old-fashioned stats there, earning this post...... THE PADDOCKLAD SEAL OF APPROVAL.

If Nick Candy buys Chelsea it's a sick joke. One of the leading facilitators of money laundering in Western Europe . He developed 1 Hyde Park, a giant dark obelisk apartment block where literally no one lives but where the shell companies of Oligarch's, Kleptocrats and other assorted cunts clean the money they have stolen from their countries. He should be fuckin sanctioned too

Can't wait to have him back, this is from an athletic piece about Alexander Arnold but shows good and well why Trippier is such a good player and why Southgate loves him so much with england.

I agree.

Maybe he is, either way he’s a sanctimonious little prick.

Especially when, putting aside the human rights issues, they’re just deals of convenience to get around ffp. Rather than the result of hard work. Lick spittle cunt. Remember when they recently had to cancel one of the ‘deals’ they’d announced when they had to prove the company behind the sponsorship actually existed? (It didn’t)

Nah he's just a cock.

this isn’t normal behaviour- don’t think the dude is well

Aye, he’s currently arguing that if people read what he said they’d stop bringing up the £50m to spend shite he wrote about as he’d updated it and was more accurate, when did he update it? January 4th yes, after we’d been in for Trippier for what at the time was thought £35m, we were in for Botman, enquiring about strikers etc, but sure Luke you called it .

Same bloke that’s never stopped whinging about our takeover and hassling Eddie Howe about who he works for btw.

Just noticed Gemmill on the right there, struggling to control his Sourness boner and waiting for the right moment to mention Owen’s terrible xG stats.

“ Didn’t have any gold watches, found this in the store cupboard/ boardroom… Happy Retirement Titus!”

Called Peggy.

Nice of us to put together a support program for an ex-player tbh.

HMS Calzone, given their history of folding.

Rich Energy, the worlds first energy drink made from household electrical goods. #crediblewitness #heronfoods #fightlikealass #business

The constant lying. Every single word these cunts utter. It's endless, and ultimately numbing. I guess that's the point.

Exactly

Jeff Hendrick to Jeddah FC for £200m is definitely on.

Well I hope all those taking the piss are well and truly proud of themselves.

I think that general principle is very literally the lifeblood of the forum tbh

didn't edwards come out with some shit about us only having 50m to spend in january too, for us only to then spend almost double that? the pragmatic ambition rather than superstar signings is good to hear. it worked in january. i would be very happy to see a smilar budget spent and the same strategy we used to identify players. four out of the five signings have been excellent. there's only wood who has disappointed in terms of goals scored and we were desperate when we signed him