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Was out last night but caught up on the highlights this morning. My observations: Complete 'smash and grab' from Everton. Despite what Lampard said they DIDN'T get what they deserve. Suspect red card for me. I get the points Howay is trying to make but is these situations I ask myself how I'd feel if it had been one of ours sent off - I'd be fuming. ASM just doesn't look fit to me - people can bang on about the fact he lost the ball in the middle of the park and it cost us all they like, but a fully fit ASM would have been motoring with the ball in the other direction. We clearly need to find ourselves a potent goalscorer. I think Wood is a good old fashioned centre-forward but he hasn't quite got that killer instinct in front of goal that we're going to need if we're going to progress. Dubravka was poorly positioned for their goal. It went in almost in the middle of the goal frame. He's a great shot-stopper but again it's another area we need to strengthen if we have ideas of advancing. The international break has come at the right time. Look we've lost 2 games away from home on the bounce 1-0 down to last minute goals. It IS frustrating but it's not the doomsday scenario some are going on about. There are far worse teams in this division than us, and we've got a number of players to return from injury too.

Where do you even start with this?

I do not get how some people are only interested to come here to slag off players and to prove how good they are at judging poor players. UM is another one.

You just wait til they get on a roll. And Everton. And Brentford. And Leeds. And if they play one another they'll contrive to BOTH get 3 points (that's why they call them 6 pointers). And then they'll ALL overtake us and we'll get relegated.

Dave, two things. Firstly, this is a blunt tool designed to show how difficult it would be for us to go down from this position. Secondly, FUCK OFF DAVE.

Thought we were poor by recent standards and still the better side. We were unlucky not to get a point at least. Not going to pick on individuals to blame but I thought we saw glimpses of the kind of through balls we can look forward to when Bruno has more pace and movement ahead of him

Well hot damn, WOOOO, I tell you whut, that is exhibit A in the case for denying visiting rights.

You must do a lot of washing up tbh.

@wykikitoon woke up this morning with an overwhelming feeling failure. I share the burden with our players for last nights abject display. back to you sir, I flew too close to the sun.

Understandable, Fish never mentions his lass

#vanlife #field #rivers

TBH

Fuck that - sack him

Even if we only manage a point from each of these games: Wolves (H) Leicester (H) Palace (H) Norwich (A) Burnley (A) ... And we lose ALL of these games: Spurs (A) Liverpool (H) City (A) Arsenal (H) That would be 36 points, which will be plenty. And that is a very prudent assessment of what should be possible from those games. I think we'll more likely get something like 8 points from the top 5 set of games and a non-zero return from the bottom 4 set. Which would see us absolutely cruising to safety. I suspect the MOST likely thing we're all about to see though is that the teams below us just continue to fail to pick up enough points - they'll get the odd thing here and there, but it'll be too little and too late - to the point where anything we get from our games just becomes a bonus as we maintain a healthy buffer between us and them.

Honestly CT lad, you need to chill your beans. We were beaten by Chelsea. CHELSEA. Current World Champions, Current Champions League winners and Currently sitting 3rd in the league. With a made up midfield & nee Trips, we pretty much kept them to 2 efforts. We should have had a man advantage and a peno too. We can away beaten by a goal of class tbh. The ball to Havertz and then a superb first touch and finish. Bruce is here, we come away from Stamford Bridge humiliated. To come away instead gutted as we were minutes away from a point after being dry bummed by the ref just shows how far we have come in a short time frame. Last night, we weren't at the races. Looking back I think we missed out of a leader on the pitch and some experience. I don't think Schar is captain material, but I understand why Howe gave it to him. First half after the first 5 minutes we settled in and were never really threatened and we were the better side. I said near HT we needed to up the tempo. I think we were starting to sit too deep and take it easier. They took advantage of that I think second half. The nature of the game with the poor reffing helped them. it disrupted our rhythm. Peado Oil boy helped massive with that too. The sending off galvanised them. Everton have a solid run of; West Ham (a) Burnely (a) Man Utd (h) Leicester (h) Bin dippers derby (a) Chelsea (h) How many points do you expect them to get? I am with G Dogg. I think they're down. They were fucking GASH last night. It was a hard defeat to take because it's a wank football club, with a cunt of a manger and lame cunts on the pitch like Gordon and Richardlson. But let's be honest. They didn't dominate us did they? We do have some hard games coming up. But that run IMO highlights what little strength in depth we have and the whole myth of we have bought our way out of relegation is blown out of the water. Wood didn't play well last night but in an ideal world last night he would have been rotated more leading up to it. He's played 90mins since joining us. He's a physical player and he must be absolutely shot to bits. Basically what I am saying is. We are safe man. The teams below us are shit.

You’re right. Holden is forgiven. I blame Gemmill

Especially when the players they love to hate have been brilliant for months

He's like Harry Enfield's "Only meeeee!" character this one.

3% chance according to the stattos at Five Thirty Eight. Someone needs to let them know about the run Burnley are about to go on cos 47% seems high when you consider that they're about to become a runaway points train.

I think our team are fucking paggered tbh. Everton are shite but they were clearly absolutely desperate for that and got really fortunate imo. Howe is at the point where he’s playing crap he doesn’t want to field like Krafth and Almiron.

Wykiki getting absolutely ragdolled here. YOU LISTEN TO WHAT YOU LIKE SON!

Fuck them. They should be in the Conference for war crimes.

Waza Air Review - Short version, these things are the absolute tits. So I got em yesterday and the first thing I had to do was the charge the receiver, which was annoying. However the headphones had a decent charge so I had a play about with them and hoyed some tunes on. They are ridiculously loud but high quality for listening to music. I had to go out and by the time I got back they were charged so I grabbed a can and plugged them in. Fuck Me. It's a very weird sensation, it really does mimic the feel of a loud amp in a room perfectly, in fact it's unsettling because I have neighbours and it feels like I'm stood in front of a Marshall stack. The stage mode feels like I'm stood on a stage with one key difference - you can hear everything properly. The tones and FX, reverb/ambience etc are fantastic. Not quite as good as what I get out of the amp but after a while it's more immersive. I'm often cautions when I watch reviews and the lads at Andertons are like 'WOW THIS IS MINDBLOWING & for just £799!' because it's seldom objective. However my first reaction to playing these was literally blurting out 'Fuccccckk'. They're pretty incredible. It feels like an amp and reacts like an amp, it's not like headphones which is weird. After a few beers I was shredding over some backing tracks like I was at woodstock or something. It's super immersive, you really lose yourself in it in a way you can't really do with an amp at home. Very impressive bit of kit and a lifesaver for the neighbours.

So you are basically saying Spurs is a must win

It's spreadsheet time, bitch. I made a slight change for this one - the "Current Mgr PPG" column now looks at a) what the club has achieved season to date, and b) what the club has achieved under its current manager, and it takes the GREATER of those two figures into the "Current Mgr PPG" column. What that means is that even if the current manager is doing worse than the club has done season to date (I'm looking at you Frank Lampard), I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that they'll get better. Key points to note: Us, Brentford, Leeds, and Everton all require fewer points per game to get to 36 than last time the spreadsheet was updated. That's obviously because each of these teams has won a game since then - even though we've lost the last two, our win at Southampton means our points required per game is still down. Watford, Burnley and Norwich all have a mountain to climb, and it's a mountain that is getting steeper with each passing game. They all need more points per game on this version of the spreadsheet than they did last time. Oh dear. I decided to do some additional bits and pieces to try and put to bed the idea that we are about to get relegated. So I looked at two scenarios for each team: Scenario 1: In the team's remaining games, they pick up points in line with their season to date performance. Scenario 2: In the team's remaining games, they pick up points in line with their current manager's performance. I worked out what points total this would result in, and then ranked these points totals, 1 to 7, to see what order the current bottom 7 would finish in. The results are as follows: So, as you can see, whether we achieve our season to date PPG (1.07), or Eddie Howe's actual PPG (1.44), over the remaining 9 games, we STILL finish the season as the top team out of the current bottom 7. The other thing worth noting is that, per this analysis, the current bottom 3 is fucked. But I knew that even this wouldn't be enough for those absolutely committed to their insistence that we might still go down. The bedwetters' bedwetters. So I did one final scenario.... When Steve Bruce finally fucked off and left us all alone, our season to date performance (at the end of the Spurs home 2-3 defeat) was Played 8, Points 3. So I decided to produce a scenario where i) Eddie Howe morphs into Steve Bruce for the final 9 games of the season and picks up points at the same rate that Bruce managed for the first 8 games, and ii) I give the other 6 teams the better of their two points totals from the season to date/current manager PPG scenarios. So I'm basically lobotomising Howe, sticking a big pair of fake tits on him, and giving all of his rivals their best case scenario set of results from the earlier analysis. And this is what happens: We pick up 3 more points between now and the end of the season, finishing on 34 points. An absolute wheels-off fucking catastrophe of an end to the season. And yet we STILL finish in 4th out of the current bottom 7, a full 4 points clear of the relegated Watford, Burnley and Norwich. So that's it. We're not going down. So can we stop pretending that we might be, please.

I made some money betting on Russia that year, so that's just gone to Medicins Sans Frontières. Not much we can do as individuals in this situation but a bit of karmic redistribution is better than nothing. I liked her song too. Even if it was - inevitably and ironically - a "we are the world" kind of peace anthem... 🤦‍♂️

I don't get the disagreement about the red. Unless the rules have changed, which is possible, diving in with two feet off the ground is always a straight red. Bruno looked a class above last night. A decent forward to run onto his through balls will be a beautiful sight Frustrated as fuck, especially as I really want the hilarity of Everton down, but just shows how well Howe has done with that squad. Not going to criticise them too much though, they looked knackered

Dorty bastard. Disappointing ending to that game but I didn't see us capitalising on the red card, definitely didn't see them scoring either, mind. I honestly thought we weathered their early storm perfectly and were composed as fuck finding little pockets and being brave not hoofing it which is exactly what we did second half. A terrible goal to concede and a naive one as well. Felt robbed at Chelsea and no complaints whatsoever from the side but a few need a little bit of extra coaching and videos of what not to do. CT has obviously been doing some retro sniffing of tippax if he's still worried about relegation, mind. We need a striker for next season as Wood just doesn't look like he can score nor is particularly mobile, I get he's played his part and wouldn't dismiss that but I think a more mobile striker nicks us a win when we're on top, Wilson is that but it's no good when you're injury prone. Everton made it a dogs of war game but I'm afraid that's allowed especially when you're on a run like theirs plus that's the loudest and most sustained support I've ever seen them give their team for about a quarter of a century so we need to take that into account as well. Hopefully the good coach we seem to have knows what buttons to press with the players and sees the mistakes and errors so can help coach it out of them. No big deal in the cold light of day just need to be more brave with the ball and not give it up cheaply.

I think the cable tie prick has a lot to answer for - Everton were shit before and shit after the break but I think we went from a team in control of the game to one just as shit as Everton. I agree the shit refereeing and mental as well as physical tiredness were factors too but stupid breaks in games sometimes have effects on one team or the other - see that dog incident I mentioned in the gig thread as another example.

I'll update the spreadsheet later, but for the record, it's only as a means of stopping some of the PISS FOUNTAINS amongst our membership from spraying all over the place for the next two weeks.

We should still pick up the odd point between now and the end of the season. It would need miracles for Watford and Burnley to close the gap. Watford do still have a difficult away matches to play at Liverpool, Man City and Chelseas. But they do need to win at least three of their remaining nine games or three out of six if you forget about those matches. Collecting the odd draw won’t be enough for them. Burnley do have a more favourable set of games but would also need to get at least ten points out of their last eleven matches. But that’s also a lot if you consider that they collected less than a point per match on average so far. If we actually managed to fuck up the rest of the season by losing every single game then we would deserve to go down anyway.

Don't take it too bad. Thread title was there, content in the thread was there. It was a last minute sucker punch. Sir, you did us proud.

Boring as fuck attention seekers are not a new phenomenon

And yellow ??

There’s always one journo that goes deep….Quentin Somerville & his team here, fuckin hell.. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-60786964

If you want to leave you wife mate just leave, hiding in the loft is a cowards way out

Fuck me, we're not going to hear the end of this by Wednesday. He'll be pre-writing his own obituary by the time we play Spurs

I'm humbly requesting that Rayvin, upon announcement of next season's fixtures, predict every result for this exact situation to unfold again.

I've just communed with the spirits and I'm here to tell you....And this is DIRECTLY from the ghost of Dixie Dean... EVERTON WILL STILL BE RELEGATED.

You got over confident like. In fact I blame you.

There's your mistake right there

Lads. Honestly. I cannot recommend the ignore function enough.