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It still can't beat this caption.

They're got extra fingers remember.

I did mention last week being in hospital wired up to monitors. Apparently, my heart stopped, which somewhat disturbed my wife, as I was sitting on the sofa watching the Graham Norton Show (I know, let's not go there) when I suddenly felt faint, and stopped breathing. She thought I had had a stroke or had died, and I woke to find her looking for the Will ringing an ambulance. Anyway, after a night in hospital, no one is any the wiser as to why it happened, but I am not allowed to drive for 4 weeks, which is a pain. May have to look at a pacemaker, which seems a bit like something for old people (and I suddenly realised I am 61 so probably meet that criteria), but I certainly don't fancy that happening again. Has wiped me out a bit, and nervous every time I feel a bit dizzy but apparently otherwise, there is nothing wrong with me. It would almost be better if they could tell me I needed a replacement valve or similar, but no, it was go home and let us know if it happens again.

It was absolutely ok for him to cover matches involving Chelsea for two decades without asking these questions though. Just fuck off tbh

Perfect.

Bird does aye. It is a shame Howe doesn’t come out and say something mind as it seems like if he does the whole of Saudi Arabia will listen, and immediately change to a full westernized culture that people like Simon Bird find to be the only, and acceptable form of culture. Or maybe the opinion of a football manager is irrelevant? It would be accused of it, but it absolutely isn’t whataboutism to say that someone in a position of running the county, like I don’t know, Boris Johnson? Might be in more of a position where he should speak about these issues, but instead he is signing billion pound deals, and supplying them with fighter jets, and bombs. He’s a fucking football manager man, his job is to talk about football. Just because he is employed by them why does that make him any more qualified or obligated to discuss it? If they want to question the man’s integrity for taking such a job perhaps that’s fine, you’d have to live some fucking life to not be a hypocrite for calling him out for that but by all means jump through those hoops, he can then give an answer that he’s just here to coach footy and he’s buzzing at the opportunity in front of him - again they can read into that however they like. But to say he has some fucking obligation to speak out? Every single manager and player in the league should be asked about it if that’s the case, probably start asking them about every single other ill that happens in the world since those are all important topics too. Additionally, if we are going to be brought up every single time Chelsea are discussed shouldn’t Manchester City be brought up as well? Or are the UAE and all their dealings all above board? Or maybe they’re all perfectly content to delude themselves that there’s true separation between Manchester City and UAE leadership, but don’t want to apply that shit logic to our ownership. As I’ve said all the time, journalists should feel free to attack our owners, fans that support the SA regime in any way i.e. flying flags, defending their actions, etc (again though maybe clarify that it’s a minority of the fan base here), the PL, UEFA, UK Government, FIFA, and whoever fucking else allowed these types of people into football, but it’s completely fucking rich to target Eddie Howe a man that has absolutely no desire to enter the political arena, or the fan base that just wants to watch the team play. Anyway, I wonder how Southgates lads will do at the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. Hopefully every single manager and player that goes there to play, therefore being just as complicit as Eddie Howe is accused of being here, faces a similar grilling every single time they’re interviewed. Now that I think about it, that might be tough since all these journalists will definitely be boycotting that World Cup right? TLDR: Bunch of sanctimonious, boring, arrogant cunts. You’re a bunch of blokes that write about football for a living man, that doesn’t give you free reign to be the arbiters of every fucking topic and issue known to man. Stick to what you know, feel free to write articles about the state of the game because of involvement of these types but stop passing fucking judgement on everyone from your proper high altar of a… football journalist

No time for tactical talks, lads. This video message from Mad Jeff is just the 13 minutes long and its going to open your eyes, I tell you

I'm sorry, I'm still absolutely creased at this

Boro’s response was immense

Hi Everyone - Thank you to all the patrons who keep this place ticking, as a board we've nearly been running for twenty years & the temporary loss of the forum left a lot of us absolutely lost as to where to go to talk about Newcastle United. Twitter is toxic & given how tightly knit our community is other forums aren't really an acceptable replacement. When our Patreon fund was launched the response was amazing, we had enough funding to pay for the forum & associated costs. However we were left with a surplus. It was decided at the time that the forum would be run not for profit & at cost price. It was agreed among admins/moderators & patrons that the appropriate use of the surplus funds would be an annual donation to a local charity, chosen by the patrons. However things don't always go to plan & the world is a cruel place. In the past few weeks our gaze has been drawn away from Tyneside. Everyone is aware of the recent & continuing atrocities committed by the Russian Federation in Ukraine & given the acquisition of Newcastle United by the Public Investment Fund of Saudi Arabia the atrocities carried out by our majority owners in Yemen have been cast into the public eye. I have to admit, hitherto, I had very little to zero knowledge of KSA's military action in Yemen. As Saudi Arabia are allies of Great Britain this war doesn't make our news feed. I won't pretend to understand the geopolitical nuances of the situation, I'm a guitar player who likes to drink cans and watch Newcastle play, even if we're shite. However, given the desperation of the situation in Ukraine & our association with Saudi Arabia the decision has been taken to withdraw the surplus Patreon Cash & donate it 50/50 to the following organisations : RED CROSS YEMEN APPEAL RED CROSS UKRAINE APPEAL There will be a £75 donation to each organisation which will make a huge difference. Given that our patreon has only been running two months or so I'm sure we can all be proud of where the surplus funds will be going. When the world is a little more normal we'd ideally like to see surplus funds go to a local charity such as the West End Food Bank. In the meantime, thank you for your continued support & I hope you are satisfied with this use of funds. Regards, Tom (+ fellow admins & mods)

#hestandswithus

They can all fuck off. Premier league sanctioned the takeover so take all your wanky questions there. Saudis are well and truly intertwined into loads of UK businesses pre us so start there and when you’ve worked through that list, pop along for q & a at the strawberry.

Listen to your Doctor Renton, I’m just back at work after thick end of 3 months off with stress/anxiety, spent a year supporting the family after what happened to Dan and forgot about myself. Take whatever time you need and meds if you need them, I devoured books and escapist TV stuff, nothing verging on serious/heavy shit. Went for walks, went to the pub etc. so don’t think OH! I’m on the sick I’d better stay in, it’s do anything that helps to divert/feel normal and it is absolutely OK. Diversion and time is what worked for me, similar as someone else said, my Doc said don’t even think about how long you are off, if you’d broken your leg that’d be six weeks off. He said there’s loads of people suffering as it is with all the Covid stuff, without the trauma you/me been through. Time works, don’t go back too soon, if you have the slightest doubt you are ready, you aren’t ready, and go back phased -there’s a bit on a sick note that says “you may be fit for work” and Doc can specify you should be phased back. That’s what I did, day week one and incremented days as I felt I could. All the best.

Chelsea withdraw request to play FA Cup tie with Middlesbrough played behind closed doors - BBC Sport

I can’t believe they named a pub after a large block of hashish

Done

The true source of Rich Energy.

Leicester players have a history of downing tools too….the title winning squad did it to Ranieri six months after they won it….think it’s Vardy’s missus who’s the instigator

Sunderland’s great hope is living out of a caravan on the south coast of england. 😬

Some fantastic responses here. All of them really. I've never got anniversaries before. Its a year later, so what, the rock we live on happens to be in the same place as it was when x event happened,.big deal. But the mind is a strange thing and from absolutely nowhere I feel the lowest I have ever felt. I feel so much worse than a year ago, it's not even close. Want to blast my cerebrum with whisky and drugs. I'm not going to, obviously, i know that will fuck me up even more.Going to try and sleep, talk to the shrink tomorrow, and plot a map out of this hell I'm feeling currently. Genuine thanks to all your words and advice. This place is amazing, nearly 20 years it's been going now and although I've only met a few of you it feels like I know you all. Probably going to take a break for a bit but I'll be back soon I'm sure.

If Howe gives an answer it'll just spawn a salvo of further questions resulting in him getting pissed off and reverting to the stance he's taken. These are no marks seeking a headline to boost their careers, they couldn't give a fuck about anything else.

It all started when you put your hat in the blue wash, didn’t it CT?

That last fucking panel man, here is a list of atrocities that continue to be perpetuated by our government which makes practically everyone in the UK somehow complicit, but hey if that changes at all at least we can laugh at some fucking poor people in the northeast. What a cunt.

What a pile of shite. Why does Eddie Howe have to answer these questions? For whose benefit? The fans aren’t clamouring for answers? It’s for dickheads like him to make shite moral arguments and to paint himself as holier than though. Howe is a football manager. He’s an intelligent fella and I’m sure has opinions on Saudi Arabia but it’s not his responsibility to voice those concerns or face interrogation on those issues by people no more qualified than him.

#Flying

They all need to chill… … some grapes.

They might have a legal challenge if they named it after Supermac

Tbf they want Storey to take them over and he looks like he needs a good sportswashing.

In that case: WeeTramp

You can take Chelsea away from the cunt but you can’t take the cunts out of Chelsea.

The follow up point, which actually destroys their argument won't even have registered with them:

Fuck off Chelsea, you’ve won more than anyone in twenty fuckin years with bent roubles and now you’re concerned with sporting integrity?

Probably renting it by the hour from WeCamp

“ The aal sound forrin and the aal end with an “i”, must be the same…FTM”

I suspect sailing through the fit and proper is a given, no matter who.

Completely agree, but still seems wrong to suggest this. What a time to be alive

I’m in a right wanky mood. Basically I think it’s a hangover from being well and truly screwed over on Sunday, but it seems to be carrying on into everything this week. It’s like been early 20’s again. Pissed off with wanky journalists suddenly making a song and dance about the Saudis, even though they’ve always been like this. Pissed off with ASM being such an irritating and lazy cunt when he’s not single handily winning matches. Just absolutely having a fucking radgie few days. (And that’s not yo take away from the lads who are REALLY going through tough times. And I didn’t fall off the Keto wagon, I fucking three myself off. 4 Leffes, a burger, chips, onion rings, biscuits. I blame it all on VAR.

Not giving it the clicks tbh

Truth be told, I like him. I think he's pretty consistent in his disdain for this sort of thing - this time it goes against us but in all honesty you can see why.

Can’t believe they got rid of NINE bar

To do that he will have to have access to it, currently it’s in mammy’s bank accounts.

Well, I for one am glad I clarified so that we could all see that