Leaderboard

Gemmill”s xB is about 2.5 That’s posting expected bollocks btw

If there's a column gets added, it'll be called CT CUNT FACTOR and it will never shift from 100%.

Lampard has cracked tbh.

Another reason not to worry is CT being so worried.

Does XG stand for Expect Gemmill, usually followed by 'talk shite about football now he's interested again'? (Only joking, I've never seen you put tarquisestra or whatever rhubarb it was?)

#Transport

They have a 538 page thread on relegation I like this post "There's no silver linings to be had. I'm beginning to think that people have no idea what demotion would do the club. Catastrophic is probably the only way to describe it. I for one cannot countenance the top tier of football without Everton being there."

Fine thanks. Just some tests to check I actually have a heart 😉

It’s just a good thing they brought in Alli and Van De Beek, two lads who have really looked up for the relegation fight.

He's come in "and changed that", interesting take on reality there. Everton were 16th, 6 points above the relegation spots when Rafa was shown the door. They're now in 17th, 1 point from the relegation zone.

I'm 61 and currently plugged into monitors in hospital and I'm faster than he was 🙂

Looks like they’ve sewn up Targett already. https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/newcastle-united-matt-targett-villa-23311383

I'm watching it on a moody stream. You can hear individual voices in the small gathering that turned up.

Losing at home to Fleetwood.

#windows #bricks #doors #heronfoods #movealongtramp #notmycar

OK fess up .... which one of you dickheads is putting the fake Scouse accent on and phoned in? No fucking way any Everton fan is that dense, surely?

are you watching deano?

This is why I'm personally more optimistic now. From what I've read I don't think he could bypass the checks and balances to launch a pre-emptive strike if NATO don't attack. Also, who really wants to kill their own children and country? I just can't see it but there's fuck all I can do to influence it so I'm no longer going to worry about it.

I've just completed a night school equivalent Maths GCSE (passed final exam with 79% so about to start A level 😎) so am insisting that you show your working on this or your answer will be disregarded

Part 4 No Beer We must have spent more time than we realised at the airport. Because we checked the time & it was 11.15. Never mind we'll walk fast back to were the festival was,we'd still be one of the first in the queue as there was nobody there when we left lol. Our hearts sank as we got near to the gates they were not only open but there was a massive queue to get in. All we could do was join the end & wait to get in. Eventually we got in. The placecresembled a cricket ground with a seating area & a building that was used as a cafe. Today it was selling food & beer. We weren't hungry but we were ready for a beer. We all decided we were getting 4 cans each to start with. As we were moving up the queue we noticed they were only selling little cans of beer. No problem we'd get 6 of those each. Eventually it was out turn to be served. The woman serving pointed to me & said " the wee laddie wont be getting any beer he looks about 15. I was actually 20. There was another one of the lads she said was to young I think he was 19. Eventually she reluctantly served us with 6 little cans between us. Telling us we'd be getting no more as she was there all day. We went back in the arena we all took a can each and shared the final can between us. A couple of the lads tried to get more beer but the woman wouldn't serve them a second time. So that was it no more beer but it didnt mattervthe music was about to start. Part 5 Man In suit A couple of bands had been on everyone was in a great mood. It was now reggae band Steel Pulse's turn to play. We were having a great time. Suddenly this guy came & stood beside us. He wouldnt have looked out of place riding a Harley Davidson bike. Nothing strange there you'd think it was a music festival. Except he was wearing a shirt & tie & a 3 piece suit. He was swigging from a bottle of whisky having a great time. When he'd finished the whisky something very bizarre happened. He took off his jacket & folded it neatly on the floor. This was followed by his waistcoat & socks & shoes. He was dancing around now really enjoying himself. We were all keeping one eye on the stage & oneceye on this guy. Then all of a sudden he whipped his pants off folded them up & he was completely naked. He then disappeared into the crowd & we never saw him again. His clothes will still in a pile when we went for a sit down. We couldnt stop laughing. Part 6 BusxStrike Just after Squeeze had played their spot we overheard someone saying the buses were stopping at 10pm as the drivers had called a lightening strike. It meant the last bus we could get back to the train station would be now 9.45. Ive since found out thecfestival was just over 8 miles from the train station. The last train to Newcastlecwas about 11pm we had to be on that as the next train was 10am Sunday morning. None of us fancied being stranded in Edinburgh. We left the festival at about 9.20 as Van Morrison was playing his spot. We just managed to squeeze onto the bus back to the station it was packed. We got on the train & arrived back in Newcastle at about 1am Sunday morning. We all shared a black cab home. What an adventure that had been. Part 7 Sunday Night

Aye, we’d have to go on a run akin to the early months of the season to go down from here. Not happening with Howe in charge and the likes of shelvey playing for their futures. There’s a reason they’ve all raised their game and shelvey issued an apology to the fans for a slightly below par performance. They know this club is going places and they want to be involved. It looked bleak in January but we got most of the points required to stay up from this unbeaten run, massively taking the pressure off ahead of the tricky final four games of the season.

I certainly did

The games lost - Arsenal Leicester Man City Liverpool Outstanding.

From the 15th of January. I'm the natural born heir to Derek Acorah's throne.

Fucking Coutinho, never making a bold prediction on here again

Aye plus their money will run out whereas ours won’t

I did like that we had an Australian in the side (likewise for Viduka later) but appreciate that physically he wasn't at his prime when he joined us. He was however a fantastic mentor to Peter Ramage on all things UV protection related. He picked up a hamstring injury early doors which was a crap start but fit in well with our squad of crocks. When he was fit he was far from the worst defender we've had, which is obviously a glowing endorsement for how many poor defenders we've had over the years.

If you mean that he was wearing a balaclava then I can neither confirm nor deny.

Defcon Marmite

* snigger * Luxury players tbh, they’ll already be lining up their next club

Won't be putting up with that shit next season though! 😉

Can we add a column for CT's worry level? It's not only an important metric, it's what the supporters of the sheet demand.

I was going to mention Jason Cundy and the fat Brummie spiv-looking knacker with the pencil tache but then realised they're complete non-entities so won't bother.

Even her brother wouldn’t

Here’s a clip of Owen, like the tweet says crawling back. Like a lot of ex players & pundits who are exalting us all of a sudden he can fuck clean off the little rat. Jenas, Bellamy, Souness etc I don’t want to hear ever praising us. 14 years is a long time to be spoken down too and it was almost always directed at the fans & almost always protecting Ashley. Welcome back? Nah.

Sell out again tonight.

TBH

I’ve checked a couple of times but I’m pretty sure that Everton have spent over half a billion pounds over the last five years. It’s an incredible amount to spend to end up with an absolutely shite side.

I believe the phrase you're looking for is "remember where you heard it first"

A friend posted an amazing video on FB of a murmuration of starlings this evening. Naturally I had to point this out. ( genuine screenshot btw, I was howling).

I always used to laugh at them wearing them to the metro centre. Full families dressed in their Tombola finest “mak shooaah yi got the wun wiff catts on the back Callum, the mags will be fewmin when tha see wu pocketing things in boots wearin that”.