Leaderboard

So the first person to report a problem gets told it's his issue and called a paedo for good measure. Never change Toontastic.

"Trippier steals the show with sublime show"

we don't demand a forum that works. we just want a one that tries.

[running baconshed.exe . . . ]

I think he knew better than you.

No worries, I mostly wanted to call @Rayvin a cunt, but I'm glad you got it sorted.

"Am I at the other side yet? Last thing I knew I was in CT's house?" "Welcome fellow unfortunate little creature to encounter CT. I am the ghost of his budgie, it's been years since I flew the earth with my family till I ended up in that knacker's house. You are indeed on the other side." "Ooh, they're nice fish over there!" "They used to be in the pond he fucked up, mate."

He definitely had that one saved in his drafts.

The fitness levels Howe has got the squad up to btw. Just makes me fucking hate Bruce even more - be a shit manager, but his fucking laziness was unforgivable.

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but some absolute arsehole in the near vicinity has decided to buy not just numerous chickens, but a fucking rooster. To keep in the (average at best) back garden of his semi detached, the fucking good life prick. The incessant squawking is doing my nut in. I have made it my life goal to kill, cook and eat them and post him back the carcasses.

No pressure for another match thread eh. Fuck me, for a wee man, my shoulders are MASSIVE

FYP

"Why didn't you start the match Bruno?" "Manager is big ginger cunt" "Do you feel daft for doing all this build up?" "Look why don't you just fuck off?" "You do look silly though, don't y-" *turns off phone*

One of my mates with Covid took 7 tests in one day & kept them aside. Now that he’s negative he’s dating then and sending them to work so he doesn’t have to go in for another week

Nice to see Andrew carrying on the tradition of infecting our PCs/phones.

Definitely feels like the momentum is creeping on our side a bit. Never underestimate what general positivity and optimism about the place can do to a team.

What a difference two decent full backs makes. Reminds me of when Keegan brought in Venison and Beresford. Totally changes the team. IIRC it’s one of the first things Guardiola did when he took over at Man City.

The first one wasn’t even on target when he finally got it out of his feet. He’s about as agile as used condom.

Knocked the crepe out of him.

Any excuse, I’ll post it.

Bruno: "You score own end in England?"

Poor cunt.

"that shane ferguson looks a player. one of ours you say? what about charles insomnia?"

It’s weird having a player who is clearly trying to create a brand. I assume the others post pictures of the fish and chips they eat? Or Hayden posting “tough one today but we go again!!” After a 4-0 humiliation.

One of the lasses at work must be doing something similar, she's spent more time in isolation than Nelson Mandela.

True but

How’d you post this ?

Maybe then you’ll learn how to spell his FOUR letter surname.

Tbf if he comes in and appoints our most successful manager since 1966 I'd be pretty fine with it.

Monkey hands Keys talking before this round of matches. He really hasn't got a fucking clue has he 😂 What else did we learn in the PL break? Well - that Newcastle are still in big trouble, that’s for sure. Their spend in January was interesting I mentioned Wood in the last blog. He’s a solid citizen. Trippier is too, although he’s not going to win you many games. Dan Burn? Underwhelming. So was the addition of Targett. Guimaraes is the wrong man, at the wrong time, at the wrong club for me. Is he really going to dig them out of trouble? I don’t think so. He’s got quality that’s for sure - but he might just be ‘new’ Dmitri Payet. You can see why Newcastle bought him. They just had to land a big one (big-ish) to prove they could, but they came up well short. They were nowhere near the ones they really wanted. All the money on the world doesn’t guarantee success. I don’t see enough goals in them to survive. I was texting a Geordie legend on another matter this week and he agreed - although he mis-understood my question - which was ‘do you think they’ve got enough to come straight back up?’ 🤷‍♂️😂. Another problem which has emerged for the Toon is that two of the other strugglers are going to give it a right go. Norwich are finding some form under Dean Smith - whose been the course before - and Roy Hodgson will get a tune out of Watford. What a great start - their first PL clean sheet in two years and six managers - at Burnley! Hodgson will have been delighted with the result. Yep - if Newcastle are going to stay up they’ve got it all on. I can’t wait for the game against Everton this week. What a difference in the attitude and atmosphere around Goodison for the tie against Brentford. It was as if a stiff breeze off the Mersey had blown the stench of the Benitez era away. I’ve spoken to people who suffered the pain of the Spaniards time with Everton. Three words keep coming up - distanced, difficult and destructive. Three ‘d’s. Here’s another - dunce. Good luck Frank. It’s great to have you back in business. Taking Paul Clement is a smart move. Listen to him talk on KeysandGray The Podcast @keysandGraypod. He’s worked with the very best all over Europe. He’s a smart guy. I’m not suggesting it’s going to be easy for them - quite the opposite - but it was a great start and I think they’ll win at Newcastle this week. Everybody at Goodison looked refreshed.

Lee is already on the Piranis err Pureonies err this Italian stuff remotely tasting like beer.

some capital letters for a change..... EDDIE HOWES BLACK AND WHITE ARMY SA8NT MAXIMAN FUCKING SUPRRB KEIREN TRIPPIER YOU MAKE MY WILLIE HARD RYAN FUCKING FRASER WHO GIVES A FUCK IF JOELINTON FALLS OVER FUCK YOU YOU REPULSIVE SCOUSE CUNTS COME ON YOU MIGHTY ROBINS. THE PLANETS HAVE ALIGNED IM SO FUCKING HAPPY

3-1 ! FT Get the fuck in! Mackems lost 2-1 at Nham too

These are right in the shit now. I fucking told yous! IIIIII FUCKEN TOLD YAZZZZZZ.

Trippier How the fuck do we have him, man?

Targett was saying on that interview with the club that his nickname is Shermanator.

Targett hasn't put a foot wrong.

Shakin Stevens more like

Which quizmaster had green pubes? Bamber Grassgroin Where's Shinton when you need him?

I'm already shitting bricks about tonight. I think I preferred when I had no idea we were even playing

We're all going to be fucked off and replaced by charming, intelligent, insightful, humourous top notch posters. #PissOffGemmillBeforeYouSuggestThisIsAlreadyYou #Business #WolfJerky

We had a budgie called Shola...like his namesake he was wildly exotic to look at but ultimately served no useful purpose whatsoever

Sound on I am 60

And they're bad tempered, had a schoolfriend (first school) who was a JW. he had the most incredible and pristine collection of subbuteo stuff, we used to have a league and everything, anyway one day we went round as he'd got yet another new team and we had a game, I knelt on one of the new players and in getting up put my hand on his scoreboard, total accident btw, his reaction was anything but "turn the other cheek" the sinner JW bastard.