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Unbelievable man. The lass does a great job of dismantling the tories and I check in here and it's "Weyyyyy I'd fucking spunk on her glasses like!"

Well done to all concerned.

Yes Fish!

Apparently Merson just said Arsenal had a better window than Newcastle, despite them not signing any players and losing Aubameyang for free.

The bloke was “News Editor” for a media and marketing company- if he did’t already know that tweeting jokes about rapists is going to get you fired, then he should maybe rethink his career. And, luckily for him, he’s now the opportunity to do so. He’s also at Tory levels of “sorry not sorry”

Haven't read it so he's had a very lucky escape but I'll be keeping an eye on him in the future.

Is it just me that always had the GIF tab? This is why Ant’s capitalism had to be crushed.

Canny.

Wood seems to be getting a lot of stick based on the square root of fuck all. Not to go all Fish on you but this season Burnley have created about 1 chance a game…what’s a striker supposed to do with that? He’s not a glamour signing and he may appear dear but I reckon he’ll come good. (And it’s not my money lol)

The man himself obliged. Someone get this over to Ryder ASAP he could get at least 3 days worth of articles out of this.

SELF EMPLOYED!

Yeah, that’s how I felt when I saw it at first but he’s been a prime bellend right back so hasn’t covered himself in glory. From what I gathered when people were going through his tweets he’s made similar tweets in the past regarding that topic. The fact he’s asking for NUFC ownership to ‘take action’ after accusing them of being rapists is lunacy. The NUFC probably did end up going further than needed but he made that rod for his own back with a tweet that is not only immensely insensitive to the victim, belittles the incident itself, but is also imo a bit racist - if you are going to accuse our owners of things at least link them to things they have done/are accused of doing, don’t just call them rapists.

I thought it was a bit shite when I saw people tweeting his employers trying to get him sacked. Especially after he'd already deleted the tweet. I mean that's a bloke out of work now cos he tweeted something stupid which is pretty dismal. Asking the club owners to condemn the fans, after he basically suggested the owners are big fans of rape, is an odd one though.

And here you are on Toontastic , home and safe, Spunk Eyes.

So this cunt has effectively been sacked yet blames Newcastle fans 😂

Aye it must be a nightmare having twins.

And what the fuck? This coming from the creator of Porno Bridget?!

She's got that naughty secretary look of a circa 1980s Fiesta magazine. But first and foremost I respect her as a journalist. Ahem.

I tend you use myself as the base level of “what’s too far”, and even I thought

You don’t know the power of the damp side.

Wykiki and Renton getting ready for some shed time…

Guimaraes will change the way we attack mate. The range, variety and quality of passes from him will allow players like ASM, Fraser, Wilson, Willock, and even big Joe to play further up the pitch and in greater space. His ability to control the attack under pressure will be vital. Jonjo drops deep to enjoy the space he needs to ping a 60yd ball. Bruno can glide past a couple of players to open up space for himself in the middle. I'm not hugely worried about chance creation now, still have concerns about someone getting on the end of the them. Wood is a battering ram, but Guimaraes is more about through balls and finding runners. We have options now through. Deliveries from Trippier, Fraser and maybe Targett (I'm not sure about him) can be gobbled up by Wood. Through balls can be gambled on by ASM, Almiron, Fraser, Willock and Wilson when he returns.

This is why they're where they are. They'll not only accept the signing of a 40 year old has-been, they're actively celebrating it - all over twitter posting wanking gifs and "is it just me or is everyone else erect?" at the return of a bloke who isn't even on a downward trajectory anymore, he's fucking finished. Their owners mustn't believe their luck.

Using his covid as an excuse is bizarre anyway, it makes it all worse, as Emma pointed out. She is ace btw, and gives me the twinge.

DESTROYED

Please don't

“Do you think mimicking Michael Jordan coming back is a bit much?” “Nah they’ll lap it up”.

It’s been a tremendous transfer window and sets us up perfectly for the rest of the season. Yes, it’s disappointing we missed out on Ekitike and Lingard but I reckon we’ve got enough to survive the drop. We knew trying to sign players in January was always going to be challenging, and let’s just say this about the summer: 1. We’ll be starting from zero. Players will not be looking at coming to a club in a relegation battle. 2. Clubs are more open to selling players during a summer. What we need now is everyone behind the club for the remainder of the season, no matter what. Whatever you think of Lascelles, Krafth, Ritchie, etc. - the important thing is we have unity and survive relegation. THEN watch what we go and do in the summer…

A Simon Gwynn moment narrowly averted.

When I first joined the club I am in at a Saturday caf ride I was sat with an old bloke. He asked if I enjoyed the pro stuff. We got chatting and he asked what I thought of Wiggins. This was 2012 and I said he was a bit of an idiot. He looked fuming and I wondered why. He then said to me 'My neice is married to him!' fuck me.

Probably aye. We were invited to volunteer our social media handles at out place. Then invited to follow the company handle to reshare stuff. Nope and nope. Besides if they really think about it, they don't want me sharing their stuff in between getting banned for calling Nigel Farage a cunt.

I post shit on here DURING MEETINGS which could get me sacked.

Tory levels of "owning his mistakes" as well since he seems to want to blame the people he was putting down for his comeuppance. I do agree that the idea of a man losing his job over a tweet sounds ludicrous, but when you're in the job he was in, and you have that little blue checkmark you become more responsible for how you use your platform and he has been bitten by it.

Morelos from Rangers? No ta, he's got a similar goal return to Wood, but is playing in a farmers League. Mitro is a Psychopath AND would have cost north of £30m given he's leading a title push Brereton Diaz was quoted around the £28m mark, so add the Newcastle tax, you're talking £38m for a fucking meme. What Mickey Mouse club would spend 4x the worth of a player because he's got an amusing story, or a catchy song? Wood is a bang average Premier League striker who won't even be first choice when Wilson returns to fitness. But if he helps us get to safety, he's worth the £25m pocket change we just fished out the sofa.

Oh dear, I can tell from your post that you're a short arse. Come on. Lay it on me. 5ft 6?

Renton's wank fantasy just got even more savage.

And then the internet came along to make our lives a whole lot easier

CL - Club International Prem - Mayfair & Men Only Championship - Razzle & Fiesta League One - Razzle Readers’ Wives

Zero moisture here btw. Don't know how you dare.

Basically Defoe was the best thing that happened in the transfer window, and then to top it off Wee Phillie outdid Keith Downie by running round the Academy of Light getting "exclusives" and mistaking another black man for Defoe. It's a crying shame that the Netflix camera crews aren't still there.

Sid James for PM.

It'll be fine man.

think we've done enough to ensure we should finish top of the 4 team mini league. think the lack of goals in the team is a concern and will probably prevent us drawing in too many of the teams already on the low 20s point mark. would be great if that could happen so here's hoping fish and the more optimistic and right. we've got a week to work with the new lads before everton at home, which should be a good indicator. wished I was going and hope those that are create a fantastic atmosphere.

The Michael Jordan send-up has done me in What a club, man. Haven’t checked RTG but I’m going to assume that he alone is better business than anything we’ve managed?

If Targett linked up well with Grealish, I wonder how he’ll do with Saint-Maximin, a man who wants to be a flamenco dancer 90% of the time and passes the ball once every 3 games

It occurred to me that I have NEVER in my living memory had the transfer window newsfeed running in January. I'm in shock.. I'll forever hold Trippier in high esteem, no matter what happens - he took the bet and that set a bar , I reckon.