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Man City - tba Liverpool - tba Chelsea - Anthony Gordon + Sandro Tonali - GAZUMPED Y'FUCKAS ☑️ Man U - Alexander Isak - GAZUMPED Y'FUCKAS ☑️ Spurs - tba Arsenal - Bruno Guimaraes + Alexander Isak - GAZUMPED Y'FUCKAS ☑️ AC Meeelan - Sven Adult Botman - GAZUMPED Y'FUCKAS ☑️ Barcelona - Garang Kuol - GAZUMPED Y'FUCKAS ☑️ Everton - N/A 🚮 Get used to it, cunts. Next! (To be updated on a casual basis through the transfer windows to come). PS. Mods feel free to delete this if anything remotely shit happens.

Just for future reference it’s the tack they are taking. A tack is a sailing manoeuvre, I know this as I was once posted to a yacht club instead of serving in NI while I was in the army.

Lascelles plays like one.

Where were you hanging round to meet these lasses?! Next stop, Newcastle races to get a goer who screams tips for the 15:20 on her vinegars

Unlucky Arsenal, his heart was set on playing for a big club

@Howmanheyman will be turned out like that lad on Arsenal TV who looks like he's done a trolley dash through the club shop and come out wearing one of everything. Full tracksuit, cap, NUFC pendant on, black and white sweatbands on both wrists.

I just corrected him about one word ffs.

This sort of thing is why this place dying would’ve been an absolute tragedy

Tell you what like, you’d never get these levels of middle-aged/class ponce on N-O. I had a look in the what are you eating? thread and they were arguing about Big Macs

Clark managed to get sent off in a fucking training game 😂🤣

But still wouldn't be caught dead with a NUFC clock.

How about this instead?

Do it. Vladimir is asleep

I think it just hurt him to pass the ball.

Is that Roxette's eagerly awaited follow up single?

*hits play “ Hi GUYS…” *hits stop.

Good to see, would be good if we can use these local little lower league sides to give our youth some experience. The likes of Hartlepool, and Sunderland, are the type of really small clubs that are close to home that can give experience to our youth who are currently miles away from our first team.

This whole thing is designed to get the "working class Tories" back on side. As others have said produce the watered down report and ensure the Murdoch press hail that as innocence then a few weeks later drop the Met case and all is forgotten, then its simply a case of Priti sacrificing a few thousands migrants in the channel (which she's more than happy to do for the sheer fun of it) and all the knuckle draggers are fully paid up members of the Tory party again and back banging the "biased media" gong. This country is an absolute shitshow

Mike Ashley wears cor blimey trousers.

I will drop everything and travel to Newcastle to proudly display my arse in Fenwicks window if that one happens.

If you think we've had a tough window, Chelsea have had a £3m bid turned down for their own player.

Then you best get familiar with these new friends.

@Gemmill queuing outside SJP to get his season ticket in the summer.....

We demand a club that tries.... OMG FUCKING EDDIE NKETIAH. JUST FUCK OFF RIGHT. YOU LOT ARE PATHETIC. OH THIS IS SO DISAPPOINTING.

Give it two years of PIF money and our fan channels are going to sound like Arsenal TV. ”Yo man, Big Al was a legend innit man blud, pop pop, who’z this Wilson tho fam seriously?”

How many more times!!

Did he actually say “ getting one over the line”? HOWE OUT!!!!!

@Kid Dynamite

Maybe that’s the MSM that Gloom works for

SHUT UP BRUCE! RUUULE TOONTANIA! TOONTANIA RULES THE WAVES! GEORDIES. NEVER NEVER NEVER SHALL BE SLAVES!

Wonder if he requested to stay on the bench to risk losing out on a massive pay rise. Once he's officially signed I will discount this theory as our new darling would never do something like that.

Burger Me in Royston Vasey is one to avoid

Pairs beautifully with a Gregg’s pasty sandwich.

This thread the Yin to the pastie sandwich Yang

comte and maroilles

So big Dunc gets the job twice as stand-in knowing he gets a virtually guaranteed coaching job no matter what, they actively want to interview Rooney whose been managing for two seconds, the home fans are either silent or booing most games, accosting their owners, threatening their managers saying they know where they live but when it comes to NUFC we're too expectant and always wanted a Geordie/Alan Shearer to manage us? Up until the internet age I'd no beef whatsoever with Everton but some of their fans can be a bit precious, (we've all got them I suppose), but I genuinely can't remember, ever, their fans being shot at whatsoever, whether correctly or incorrectly? It's a puzzler?

So if all goes to plan, it seems we would be looking at a window of Trippier, Wood, Bruno fucking Guimeraes, Burn, a left back, and possibly a forward. If that happens I’ve never been happier about having all my fears dispelled and proven fucking wrong about how they’ve handled all of this. Must be a sickener for the “all the money in the world but no one will come” and “they won’t spend anything” crews, as we potentially end the window with a current England international and current Brazilian international signed . If we get Guimeraes finalized, a left back and forward in I think the last couple of days could be mad as I read somewhere that we basically have a list of secondary targets, young up and comers that they want in the summer but may try to sign sooner if they get their primary positions covered. Trying to stay calm and focus that currently we still only have Wood and Tripps in but fucking hell the Guimeraes signing is a fucking MASSIVE statement of intent and win for the project (people can say money talks but we aren’t breaking our wage structure so he will only get the same or less than Trippier I’d imagine, which is an amount he could have definitely got elsewhere).

Na but at least I don't shit on the ground, scoop it up in a plastic bag, don't wipe your arse and continue to you destination with the bag of shit hanging off your mirror

Ok, it’s shit but … I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before But I have a talent, a wonderful thing 'Cause everyone listens when Chants I do sing I'm so grateful and proud All I want is to sing it out loud … So I say Thank you Guim-a-rães, the bloke were signing Thanks for drying my trouser lining Who can still believe it? I ask in all honesty What would life be? Without a major signing or three. So I say thank you Mr Guim-a-rães, For coming here to me.

If we sign a Brazilian international for £40m or whatever we’re gonna have to change the thread title As Thats not remotely reasonable.

Franck Dumas looked like a bin man

It was the early days of Internet dating I think.... minority sport minge.com

stalking round the bedroom looking like Bobby Ball.