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Mandy’s on holiday. Ghoudoussi spending like a kid that’s attached his mams credit card to his PlayStation to get fifa players

what have leisure activities got to do with anything?

Honestly, I'll have wykiki charged with rape if this falls through.

Somebody on twitter said Bruno could nutmeg a mermaid & whilst there’s no way of confirming that, that will do for me.

new people?

Here I thought it was the Bridget porn-alike.

Remember the weird ‘alive and kicking’ McEwans Lager advert? Or the McEwans Export one with Scottish Cavalier except he was a dummy? Sat on the beach - “just look at those shores” “what shores?” “Thanks, I’ll have a McEwans Export”. Fucking hell, the absolute shit your long term memory retains. I can’t even remember what I had for me tea most days

gemmill would have gone into "daddy" mode and taken her straight down the taxi rank

Bridget P's Diary "Was at the Trent last night, OMG! It's like I'm a zoo attendant with a fish in my hand whilst the seals all sitting clapping for my attention. It's pathetic! The fish looks like he's trying to pull off a bohemian look but just reminds me of a downtrodden geography teacher and Gemmill's just a shit Geordie version of Richie Cunningham!"

This daft shite has been on his vinegars for over 24 hours with this deal. "Uh.... I'm coming............... Not yet....... Don't stop................ Uhhhh won't be long............ Hngggg...... Keep going...." I'm SICK of it.

Welcome!

You absolutely cannot pull moves like this. This is seriously a banning offence. GUARDS!

Get Jeremiah St Juste in just to see what absolute bullshit chant CT emerges from his studio with.

PaddockLad forced to answer to the name Dan Marino in the bedroom and shout "42......36......HUT! HUT!" immediately prior to penetration. "You like that, The Fridge, don't you?!"

RIP Wolfy

Look its been a busy day... Fuck it, im off back to onlyfans.

"I had lots of conversations with the manager and behind the scenes with the Atletico president. They made it clear they didn't want me to go, but I had a couple of family reasons for why I needed to come back." "I wanted to come back to the north, and up north, there was only Newcastle interested. But I know the manager, and I've worked with him before, and I had good chats with him about the project and what could happen." "I thought that maybe I could tempt other players to come here, too, that if I've joined Newcastle, maybe it shows we can get out of it. It's going to be difficult, but I'm up for it. It's perfect timing for my family and me."

My favourite reply.

Click in for the thread.

I miss Best Scotch. You can’t get it anywhere down here. I was emailing some poor lassie at McEwans last year trying to find some. There’s absolutely fuck all in the South East and they don’t do cans any more (mind you they were a bit shite compared to the draught). Cockneys man, IPA, lager and fucking whelks. The one you’ve got to come back for. FFS

Click Hope the link stays up, didn't on Youtube. The GeordiePride one by Pedro still gives me goosebumps, that's the one with My Immortal in the backgorund.

Assuming we stay up, I genuinely can't wait with PL status secure we'll be linked with so many players, and having players like Trippier, Guimares, ASM already in the squad makes it clear that we've got talent and ambition driving us on without a lot of the financial problems that a lot of other clubs have. The likes of Arsenal are better than us right now of course, but they're also not really able to strengthen to huge degrees without getting rid of players because they've got massive contracts. We don't give a fuck about any of that.

It was genuinely unintentional, but I know I’ve ruined a lot of the old crowd’s “special time” now. Whenever they’re cracking one out to Bridget they’ll have Lisa popping up to say hello, and for that, I apologise lads

Fucking trolled by CT oh my 😂

It’s going to be a fucking long summer

Look, I get posting the twitter ITKs but posting indykalia is a step too far.

I recommend you watch this.......

Not sure sure if they're connected or not but I'm pretty sure her being a phenomenal sexual athlete and also being your ex-girlfriend are?

It's my firmly held assertion that the vast majority of NFL fans in the UK are currently between the ages of 50 & 65 and were thus reasonably young people in the 80s when channel 4 screened one live game a week, obviously on one of only four TV channels the nation had access to. An ex girlfriend of mine falls into this age category and was a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, in addition to being a phenomenal sexual athlete. Not sure if the two things are connected but there you go

He’s got as much chance of this happening as I have of buying a can of Rich Energy in Sainsburys. #waltermitty #soilednappy #heronfoods #cunt

my trouser hose has slowed to a slow drip in recent days. it's no longer the gushing torrent it was pre-leeds. partially because three points eased the pressure and we're not cut adrift, partially because we don't have any more games to go before the window shuts, so the rush for new faces is less urgent, partially because these deals were always going to be difficult in january. but mainly because it's a seller's market and selling clubs know we're flush and desperate. plenty of these mooted deals will be done before the window closes. which ones remain to be seen but it feels like we'll get in at least a couple more. if we don't.....

This board needs renaming “Incontinentastic”

That's a bit forward.

One of the benefits of wanking from home

We’ve got more money than anyone else and we’re a sports washing vanity project. What’s not to like?

This is why bell ends in their own profession, i.e their colleagues, say we all want Mbappe etc.

In case anyone hasn't. And I know that this is not ALL our money, but the same goes for the owners of all the other clubs. PRE TAKEOVER POST TAKEOVER That is objectively funny.

Bridget Fonda cake more like

Aye, that's it, rub it in lads.

A real time saver this built in Gif thing 👍

Pretty sure she’s given me that look in the Trent before after I’d told her they’d ran out the £1.50 vodkas and a mixer