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Lascelles hattrick. 3-0 to Leeds

Buried my uncle yesterday and the relief that everything went perfectly is massive. Had a good cry and a lots of work to do but that’s a big, big relief

Everyone else but Wykiki is officially BANNED from starting match threads. GET THE FUCK IN!

I feel absolutely drained. Like I've had ten wanks on the bounce.

Schar was MoM for me. A couple of goal saving blocks, rock steady at the back and lots of important tackles. Willock was really bad first half, not tracking back and poor touches. Howe and co obviously gave him a rocket and he played much better second half but missed a gilt edged chance at the end and was running on empty, but good second half performance. Shelvey was steady but the goal is 100% keeping error. Much better defensive performance from him. Another star performer was Dubravka. He wasted so much time that it really jolted Leeds who wanted to play free playing football. He commanded his area well and made an important save. Distribution not great as always but clean sheet. Longstaff played much better than I thought he would when Joelinton went off. Wood was slightly disappointing, lack of pace that this team gets from Wilson hurt us from breaking more often. Most of the lads though did really well. Leeds missed Bamford and Phillips badly, one to ruffle our back line and the other to control the midfield. Still, things look a lot brighter, especially after Everton result earlier. We still need some reinforcements. Looking forward to next week/ deadline day.

hallelujah! thank the fucking lordy lordy! clarko was right, shelvey is brilliant! fuck you, you yorkshire cunts! we're gonna a win the league!

makes rees-mogg look like an orgreave picket liner. and on that note, I'm off to hit the red wine, big time. I bid you all a fucking splendid evening gentlemen!

My brother just texted me calling me a black and white sheep cunt, 😂😂😂😂

Whoa whoa whoa lads. You're not allowed to say Everton could be in trouble. I got pelters for saying that 2 months ago. You want to get a late ticket on the bandwagon, you fucking ask nicely.

Class again from Willock. If this could be him gaining confidence, could make a big difference in the games to come.

Sounds perfect. Thanks for the boost this has given me just before the match.

I'm just being grumpy but it's fucking incredible how shit the timing of the decision to finally allow the sale to go through was. If the PL didn't fuck about trying to satiate their 'top dogs' hoping PIF would go away we would have had Rafa come back in with an intricate knowledge of the players and club and have been in a position where we could actually attract players for an exciting project. Instead we're trying to get players in with the doom and gloom of almost certain relegation staring us in the face. It's not just the players that it has impacted, it has also seen us struggle to bring in a DoF and other key management positions. Honestly it's getting to the point where they may as well start preparing for the championship and switch the focus to youth, facilities and development, bringing in young players who won't mind being in the championship for a season. And who knows if we bring in enough raw talent it might get a last song out of some of our deadwood.

You took the words right out of my mouth

Did they get your autograph?

"Tha got beat, Mr Wilkes!"

From atomic kitten to rancid pussy

can't believe I was so badly let down here.

I hope you replied…

Have it you scruffy leeds cunts

Texted a leeds mate. He fucking fuming 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I never doubted.

BTW 20 minutes to go, wykiki was predicting that not only are we going down, but that we also won't come straight back up. Now he's dancing about like Dick Van Dyke. What a bloke.

Fucking get in.

Take that you Bellend road Yorkshire pudding bastards (wyki exempted).

Hang a sausage from it, and you could have got Bruce banned by the PL for running round the pitch during the match.

Watching Shelvey carry the ball through midfield "at pace" is like when you watch someone swimming their fucking arse off and then see someone poolside keeping pace with them by walking.

Dog and pub update. After his regular half a stone of treats from behind the bar, an owld fella comes in and produces a bag of fresh pork crackling and needless to say Hamish (my dog) thought this was tremendous, after several pieces he was then fed a portion of the landlady’s (and also from her son) fish and chips. Mate comes in and proceeds to buy a pack of pork scratching, not in same class as the other stuff but not wanting to be rude Hamish had half the pack. Another regular comes in and whilst he doesn’t have a dog himself, he does always have a pocket full of dog biscuits, and he wonders why the dogs love him !! Cue - much sitting and giving of paws. Mrs arrives to drag us home on her way back from work, has a glass of wine and pack of Cheese and Onion crisps, half of which the canine dustbin got. He was fucking rancid overnight (very unusual for him tbh) to the point he fucked off out of the bedroom in shame. canny evening all in all, apart from the smell obvs.

Jaap Stam was right about Neville, but he's spot on here.

Imagine putting a clause in a contract that's designed to make you not look like a cunt, and then pulling these lego leg jeans on and walking out the front door. Clause null and void dickhead, the law can't help you anymore.

It’s laughable that Ashley thinks a gag order is going to protect his public image. As though everyone doesn’t already know he’s a colossal cunt. What damage can anyone do to the public image of a man who nobody has a good thing to say about in the first place? And besides, as far as I’m aware, the new owners have merely commented on the club’s state of disarray in terms of football results and the state of decay in its assets off the field. These are simply a statement of facts. The implications drawn from such comments by Ashley that these remarks constitute a criticism of himself implies that Ashley acknowledges that he exploited the club, preferring to run it into the ground as a cold and barren marketing vehicle for his shit sports stores. The most laughable aspect of this entire thing is that Ashley, in the above sense, confirmed that he is completely correct in claiming responsibility for the current state of the club. It’s ironic, of course, that he has done so belatedly, against his own will, and in accidental public confirmation of the criticism he had sought to avoid making public in the first place. And now he is suing others for a public recognition of his cuntishness that has been confirmed by himself. Jog on genius.

I’ve passed this on to him. He said “My names not Ryan you daft cunt you’ve lived next to me 8 years, you’re a fucking alcoholic nuisance and if you don’t turn that guitar down I’ll call the police” Must have been a long day with all the travelling and that. Fair play to him, a gentleman.

Kinda - his song got to the final six but then the British public fucked it off. It finished very last. I just read there was a song by Ray Davies in there too, but apparently it was this Ray Davies

He had the first two jabs, but didn’t get the booster..

No wonder we struggle to get younger posters on here.

"Nay nay lad, tha's joost a reet twat"

I fucking told you. I woke up this morning waving my wiener.

RAPE ALARM

He'll fit right in.

With my team playing in the fourth tier I do not follow German professional football a lot these days. I don’t think I ever noticed him playing when flicking through games. From the match reports and ratings of Germany’s leading football magazine he had a few outstanding matches but a lot poor and very poor ones.

@Gemmill And so it begins …

Villa winning. Hate the cunts but this is the best result for us. Villa players hit by missiles from the crowd whilst celebrating. Silly billies all round.

I’m sick of the coverage already. It feels like it’s gone on longer than one of his song’s intros

It’s honestly the weirdest thing about the bloke, he’s an absolute fucking cunt and is happy to be that for fucking YEARS in a very public fashion , but the moment anyone is like “maybe you didn’t do that in the best way” he’s raging . If you’re going to be a cunt just be one, he can’t genuinely believe anyone that would listen to Staveley criticize his ownership and change their opinion that contrary to all public information available to the contrary he was actually quality. The fact he even thought to put in that clause shows what a little bitch boy he is. Look forward to him being out-cunted one day, maybe this son in law of his he appoints somehow fucks him over and empties all his accounts. Hope he stubs his fucking toe everytime he walks through a door, and catches his nut sack in the zipper of his pants everytime he has to piss.