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The only thing we should be getting in is about 15 positive tests at this stage

When I got my third jab I didn’t even know the lass had done it. Which made for an interesting role reversal

I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. I feel like you're just in a fever dream, on the psych ward, curtain pulled around your bed, randomly screaming stuff out about "JUST PAY THE FEE........ EXTRA 5 MILLION........ FFP........ WHERE'S FUCKING NICKSON?"

Just your average super chilled-out argumentative cunt, relaxing into another pointless argument.

it's to be hoped mr logic isn't lurking....

--------------shrubs flowers--flowers--flowers--flowers ---------------plants flowers--flowers--flowers--flowers ----------------tree

O_o

There's gonna be an avalanche of signings in the last week and Gloom and wykiki are gonna be like a couple of piss sprinklers while the rest of us are covered in transfer ejaculate.

BT: "Hello, BT, how can we help?" Wikki: "I'm phoning up as your prices are beyond a joke, lad round t'corner is paying almost half what I am. I want a much better deal or I'm cancelling. What do you think about that, then?" BT: "I'm sorry you feel that way sir, I can give you a month's half price on your HD subscription, £2.49 for a month instead of £4.99?" Wikki: "What?! I'm after something a lot better than that! Cancel my subscription. I'll go elsewhere where I'm not taken a lend of. Cancel it." BT: "Very well sir, your service will end next week. Is there anything else?" Wikki: "Now hang on a bit, let's not be hasty now"....... Twenty minutes later....... BT: "So your new 24 month full package will include no bonuses, no price reductions and we'd like you to pay back the 40% off from your first three months of your original 24 month contract from 2007." Wikki: "Thanks a lot for your help, love, that'll be no problem." BT: "Will you fill a survey in after this call saying I was brilliant and you were a pudding who buckled under the pressure?" Wikki: "Of course, absolutely no problem, thanks again for everything."

£50

Well I for one can't wait to hear Zapata of tiny feet.

this post aged well

Rice is a rolls royce of a midfielder who can everything, shelvey is physically abysmal

I might try our approach in tesco later. I'll give you £2 for this pack of chicken thighs now, another £1 later if they don't make me barf up and a further £2 if the curry I make wins masterchef. see if they're agreeable?

*Alan Pardew and Mike Williamson have entered the chat*

Ryder already has the ‘Plea Bargain’ headline written

Do you, in life in general, display anxiety over things you have absolutely no control over whatsoever? ITS NOT FOOTBALL MANAGER RECRUITMENT IS BEING LED BY NOVICES ITS JANUARY WE'RE NEWLY MINTED WE'RE IN THE BOTTOM 3 I BET YOUVE NEVER PLAYED POKER IN YOUR LIFE Hope this helps Best regards A. Cunt

I see the Southend West by-election is bringing out all the usual delights

Do doo be-do-do [/CT]

Almiron was clearly making progress under Rafa...which, I think, tells its own story.....

I'd be happy with Troy Fucking Deeney atm

You think JRM's tough, you wanna try getting the metro through Shiremoor mate.

He's probs said "I know there's interest, but I've got 18 months left on my contract here". The classic will you leave me alone dickheads response.

Aye, do what you’re told or we’ll send JRM and his nanny round

Always a bonus when you can work your Friday night mantra into a post about Newcastle transfers.

You heard it from Lee, first.

Botmam? Bot all, more like

I don't really know how much this bloke knows but what he's saying does make sense. Thread.

Not playing on with a dodgy shoulder? Coward!

Thanks, I look forward with increased vigour to us failing to meet his club's valuation.

What do we have for entertainment? Beheady Eddie's head on the pavement

Bellend road

He’s been sort of pushing for a move for a while now. Tbh I’d be happy if we offloaded him in the summer, he’s not good enough for the PL. He’s not good enough technically to make up for being so lightweight. At this point it’ll be worth it alone so I stop seeing fans of his stupid old MLS club bemoaning how this unbelievable talent is being wasted at a shit club, he’s part of the reason we are shit lads.

You could give most CBs 8 cans and put them in a pair of doc martens and theyd be better than that shower.

Cheers lads, it’s a rank time of year for it & not something I’ve ever had to do before. So basically around Christmas these things take ages anyway….but he was a pitman so they couldn’t just sign a death certificate, it had to go to a proper coroner and I had to agree it was nowt to do with the pit. Funeral tomorrow, which would normally be the end but I’ve got a shit load of other stuff to sort out. Also @Gemmill - once I get this all sorted & put behind me….yeh headphones…maybe a guitar and I’m now making spare room a proper music room. May as well make the most of a shite situation 🤷🏻‍♂️

bit of a waste of time letting the met know.

Where’s that little bamp Pearson and his mates when you need them?

"I know its talksport..... BUT FUCKING HELL THESE PENNY PINCHING CUNTS ARGUING OVER £3.5M"

@essembeeofsunderland 🚨🚨🚨YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST KLAXON 🚨🚨🚨

Howe-di-Howe!

Carlos never had our support anyway after Diego dealt him a beatdown.