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The stadium needs to be improved in lots of areas. Until then we’ll have to solder on

My stepmam btw, can't fucking stand her. Proper gobby bitch, just permanently set to BROADCAST any time I'm in her company, which I keep to an absolute minimum. Anyway they've got a static caravan and they spend about 4 days a week every week during spring/summer at it. Little group of people there that do the same, and they all get together for bbqs, etc. Except since the others on the site have discovered that they're unvaccinated, they've been excluded from all of the socialising. Outdoor stuff, fine, but anything in anyone's caravan, the doors are fucking locked to her and my dad. I don't think he really gives a shit but it is FUCKING KILLING her, which in turn I am absolutely LOVING. It's the only topic of conversation I'm happy to listen to her on. She wants my dad to spend tens of thousands to shift the caravan to another site now that they're basically the site lepers. If it's not clear, this was one of my highlights of 2021. If they do shift the caravan, I'll be popping over there and getting on the tannoy.

Alright Prince Andrew

Currently waiting on Pearson to edit it

Aye definitely, it doesn’t feel real yet. Right, pinch of salt time lads as I’m just passing along what I’ve heard so take it or leave it. Botman and Diego Carlos want to sign, we want both, Howe wants Botman in first. Umtiti the alternative if we can’t agree Botman fee. Digne deal is dead in the water and we’ve moved on. Unlikely to sign a LB, may rely on Lewis and Manquillo. Vlahovic…. Wants to sign for us. Like Botman he wants to get in at the ground floor of the project and fears knocking us back now would mean we wouldn’t ever come back. Club not sure about the price (55m) as still fear relegation. Other alternative here is Isak who has been looked into today. Nothing in Ramsey or Coutinho stuff. Laters,lol

They're just waiting for Morgan Freeman flying in to announce it. "Get busy signing for the toon or get busy being in......hey, how do you pronounce 'leyague one?"

“Murderous regime?, yeh Callum & Maxi are pure lethal up front lol”

At this point I’m picturing Asprilla in a well-worn Rich Energy OMG Racing jacket

I imagine this transfer speculation thing will get old pretty soon, but right now the very fact of being involved in transfers is still a glorious novelty. Keep it coming, even the stuff that's patently absolute bollocks.

How the fuck did they get a swab in that cunts throat? It's full of razors!

Point of order as well, the black skeletor would look identical to the white skeletor.

Caught from Adam Pearson on his way to a medical

I find that hard to swallow.

Pete Graves just turned up at the SSN transfer show and gave the lads broadcasting the thumbs up. What the fuck has my life become? Keith Downie is just a better paid Adam Pearson at this stage.

Guarantee that's what it is. Full interview package, super slo mo shots of him kicking Adam Pearson right in the bollocks.

I bet they're doing some daft video and that's what's holding it up.

that's the nuts and bolts of it

The reports on the refurb progress are riveting

Well apart from measles mumps rubella tetanus polio meningitis sepsis diphtheria and whooping cough.

I actually know this lad- Yitzhak Bernstein, played for Sacred Heart u13s. Poor kid got loads of stick at school ‘cos his Dad was Welsh.

Still a less offensive representation of Sir Les than the one in the picture behind him though

CT already working on a terrace chant incorporating the 80s hit by Elton John

First port of call for Stevie would be the Aston Villa hashtag.

You'd like all my family: Mam Stepdad Dad Stepmam Sister Brother in Law All unvaccinated and all voted Brexit. All also come to me any time they have any questions that require assistance beyond basic maths, technology, computers, pretty much anything. Luckily, Facebook was able to provide them with everything they needed to know about Brexit, the pandemic and vaccinations, so I was no use to them for any of that. I'm going to my mam's this weekend to teach her (for the fiftieth time) how to use a personal finance app. Hopefully she can help me if I've got any questions about Covid stats or how the vaccine works.

I fucking loathe these cunts.

Or Billie Piper, just to see how that goes down with Lozza Fox

Whatever our views on everything else, I'm sure we can all come together and agree that the Djokovic situation is objectively hilarious.

"Ah, I musta apologise to my most loyal Serie A cogniscenti ultras, I wasa in a knackered moment. Vlahovic is indeed hot property and I saw hima score a couple of well taken goals v Meelan not too long back but my worry is scoring in Serie A isn't as hard as it used to be in days gone by and I'd worry he's a flash in the pan, upgraded version of Mitrovic. Also the lack of fans has made it an almost training ground feel to loads of those games in the last year. (Think abouta Joey 'pickya' Willock last season to this one.) Anyway, arrivederci mi fratelli.

I think it might just be a fellow hoy noy broyn coy-er.

If/when we stay up, the summer window is going to be fucking brilliant, isn't it?

I don't know why the Vlahovic price should be related to fears of relegation. We can now comfortably absorb the financial costs of relegation and wouldn't be forced to sell our players at cut-rate prices. Vlahovic would surely move on, but at a price that we set, if not the price we paid for him. It's crazy in one sense that we are discussing 50m+ signings in all seriousness after years of utter bleakness, but even with our league position I don't think it's outlandish. Players will realize we're going to compete for honors, that we're going to upset the PL apple cart. It's going to happen. It may happen next year or five years from now, but it's nailed on with the financial muscle we now possess that we will be joining the PL elite. May as well get in early. Trippier will open the floodgates and alert top-level internationals that playing for us is the real deal. The owners are surely looking for that marquee signing, that Robinho. I would love it to be Vlahovic but - and I can hardly believe I'm saying this - there's plenty of other fish in the sea. One really edifying thing is how quickly the bullshit "the Saudis won't spend in January" narrative has evaporated. Bargain basement days are over. Bullshit loan rumors in the final hours of the transfer window that just couldn't get over the line are over. Movement in the first week of the window was exactly what we needed to save this season and we're acting quickly and decisively.

I actually saw Wee Bobby live at the Wimbledon theatre in the early 80s. His act couldn't have changed since the war, jokes about rationing and these new things called cheque books. It was still fucking hilarious but here were a few very confused southerners in the audience

It would be the sensible way to play it like. NUFC press officer: “Kieran will only answer questions about football-related matters.” First question, Simon Bird: “Jamal Khashoggi’s widow has said...”

Who was it predicted Asprilla v The Fish? Light the blue touch paper, as Keegan used to say!

Shut up, you quim. Though can they announce it now, I need something to watch at work

Tbf, he's got "Newcastle United defender" written all over him

*ewerk discretely removes his Pfizer/Moderna half and half scarf*

Ken, you're NOT ALLOWED to bring your cricket chat across to this forum.

We need a couple if he’s out for the season

I don't see the problem.

The accusation came from a typically hard line Israeli ambassador. I did like the comment that Starmer was scrambling to find out if she was a Labour member so he could expell her.

Aye, whenever I'm feeling a bit down I too stick on the Euros final and it cheers me right up.

Is Downie the jockinese reporter who interviewed Staveley just after the takeover? ewerk on the TF pod? Keep the fish away from the sharps today FFS

What does them being Muslim have to do with anything? I mean I know the answer but I find it annoying. You think it's some kinda gotcha for left wingers to invoke someone who attacked Muslims in particular, because Islam is a sacred cow of the left. He wasn't a cunt for attacking them because they were Muslim, he was a cunt for attacking them because they were human beings. The left is concerned with human beings. Blair did a lot of good in this country domestically, but ruined his legacy with the war. I do think it was a war crime. I don't think he should be knighted. I do think we should abolish the monarchy. Thatcher was a weapons grade cunt. That's my view.

Apparently the fallout with Rafa is a smokescreen. An Evertonian friend reckons Digne has probably been their best player of tne past few seasons and doesn’t question his attitude in the slightest. The real story is they need to shift him from the wage bill. If he goes they can get two-three players in without breaching the financial rules so it’s all about the salaries - a spat has been concocted to cover for the real story, which is six years of calamitous mis-management of the club’s finances. I did my best to console him that Rafa has experience managing a selling club and he should keep the faith.

Ciaomanheyman is busy right now so he is, but I'm his Irish cousin, YermanYerman, looks like the deal to get yer man from Linfield might be a step closer as the player has indicated he's prepared to give it a go in England if the club can have a word with the council and move him up the housing list if he moves over and......hang on now......is this the Sunderland forum?