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"Merry Christmas to all my loyal punters, may the new year bring lots of reports of brilliant new signings from your main man on the NUFC beat! Laters, meeting Mala and the lads in the club after dinner at me mam's, ah've even got a special Christmas pedigree chum for Peter Haddock! Lol!"

All clear for Christmas!

When you’ve successfully raised piss taking children !

Fist Jnr. who’s 11, decided off his own bat to save up and buy presents for me, his Mam, sister and Grannies, which I thought was a lovely thing to do. He got me this… … and fully lived up to his nickname of The Knacker… I’ve also had a beard for the past 3-4 years I’ve had his bloody life this morning.

Am casting Roy Orbison to TV via YouTube to keep the keep a pissed mother in law happy...changed to Jonny Mathis just now to which the dear lady commented "Queer as a nine bob note that one" I suggested she try to keep it light and festive but I've made her espresso martinis and Singapore slings all afternoon she's fuckin off her nut

separated at birth

All the best. You’re a great set of lads / token occasional posting lass

Merry Christmas all 🎅

Merry Christmas everyone, have a really great day!

Merry Christmas one and all!

Grandma Fist ( 81), has just come out with these words of wisdom, apropos of absolutely sod-all. “ Once you’ve had your dinner, you’re buggered, aren’t you?” I think we can all take something from this.

He probably got told to go home and sit on his dick

Are you a racist now Father?

All the best to everyone

Merry Christmas cunts😘

Got an actual diagnosis on Christmas eve! So two weeks of antibiotics and I should be right.

In a strange case of synchronicity that Stang out of the Police would definitely approve of, Johnny Mathis is one of Grandma Fist’s all time favourites, so I grew up with his velvet tones. She’s always been very open to sexuality’s and lifestyles other than the norm, (even though she’s as vanilla as Mark Toneys), which is no great shock given her youth growing up at the Club a Go Go, but her choice of how she expresses it makes me laugh at times. “ Oh yes, Johnny- voice of an angel… always a bachelor though…” She’s an absolute diamond

Since we're doing dad jokes anyway...

Sort your fucking finger nails out, you filthy beast

Good to see It's a Wonderful Life on in the background

The number of bitter posts relating to us in there is truly sad. We've got nobody on that list and they probably never will again, but their sad obsession as always pulls them in. Like the moon to our Earth. They can't help but revolve around us. It's simple gravity.

Ake is better than Diego Carlos for a mile and is better for the Style looks like Howe has in his mind. Howe are trying to play with passing game since the defence... Is very dificult to do that with Lascelles, Clark and Fede. And with Hayden in the middle sometimes. So, if you have Botman and Ake ... The thing could be more interesting. The problem with that is both are left footed. So I don't believe we can get both. Really I don't remember any team playing with two left footed in the squad at time. Senesi, the man I told, is left too. (Maybe with two of this man we can play 3-5-2).

I have not seen much of Botman, but I have been spoken highly of him. Also, he has a good ball style of play, which seems to be something Howe has tried in his early games. Personally, I don't like Diego Carlos at all, although it is true that he has a very good market. He is a very strong player physically, but very clumsy, very slow with short movements. I think he would be a Brazilian version of Lascelles. I think Marcos Senesi should be a priority option along with Botman. If the Digne for Longstaff swap is done, we could be talking about one of the best deals in history and the Everton fans will hate us for a few more years. I have not seen much of Sangaré either, but he is called up with Ivory Coast for the Africa Cup so, if he comes, he would possibly miss the first games, he would arrive in February and, having to adapt and get to know the team ... he would have little time to prove anything.

Happy Christmas everyone! Hope you all enjoy a happy, healthy and boozy day. …and I love how everyone remembers to log in on Christmas Day to say happy Christmas. Absolute wolf pack. Legends, every one of you.

Was it Mala that put the whoopee cushion on his head?!

@Howmanheyman My gift to you. https://www.photofunny.net/cat-christmas/cap-de-papa-noel-photomontage Merry Christmas mate

Why is CT posting pics of his bald head ?

She could breast feed a crèche. Merry Christmas and such forth Didnt realise there was a new page, did I ffs

https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/guardian-100-best-players-in-the-world.1567269/ It took them 1 post

Ill but tried to get in the Christmas spirit early doors especiall but struggled with a can and a mouthful of prosecco with my dinner. Latterly gingerly managed a bottle and a half of vino tinto. I'll suffer for it but it's only Christmas once.

Which, in the grand tradition of Daddism, leads me to the greatest ever name of a business. Yes, it’s in Ayr, yes it’s a guitar shop. When I walked past it I nearly exploded with sheer joy.

With a vengeance

They come in between Xmas and new year this year to ours but I’ve still had to stop myself booking a trip to the tip today

Merry Christmas!

1.- No. I have never liked that book. I am not much to read about tactics ... I also do not think I know anything or am good at it. The tactic I handle best is futsal (indoor soccer). 2.- England (Salah and Bernardo Silva), Spain (Really I don't know. Probably a Real Madrid player but I will never admit to saying this ), Italy (Chiesa and Osimhen), Germany (Kimmich), Portugal (Pedro Gonçalves and Luis Díaz). 3.- Some time ago I used to follow tournaments as a African Cup U17 (or World Cup) and I know some player as Sekou Koita, Osimhen or Iheanacho that impressed me when they played in local teams (also so many that was very poor in top level like Sadick Adams or Nwakali brothers). But I am not know so much about African Leagues... In South America... Facundo Farías (Colón), Pedro de la Vega (Lanús), Gabriel Verón (Palmeiras), Matías Arezo (River Plate Uruguay), Facu Torres (Peñarol de Montevideo). 4.- Absolutely not. He was a creative midfielder, very technical, but very physically weak, who could play as a 'hitch'. Hugo Viana came from being named Best Young Soccer Player of the Year (Just before the Golden Boy award officially appeared). It is said in Jorge Mendes' autobiography that Hugo Viana was the agent's first transfer in England, that he still did not speak fluent English, and that there were aspects during the meetings with Shepherd and Sir Bobby Robson that Mendes did not understand about the everything. 5.- First time I have heard about this book.. 6.- Yes, but not many, I have to say. 7.- Three times, but in Old versions of FM seven or eight years ago: -CD Móstoles (The team of my village). Starting in 3ª Division (fourth category) and I remember when I get the promotion to 1ª División the game crash. -Calcio Catania. Starting in Serie C (Thir Italian Division) and getting in 5 years winning the Champions League (But just runner up in Italian League) -Barnet. Starting in League Two and gettint two promotions in a row to Championship. 8.- I guess.... Ashley want people with knowledge in bussiness... but not in football.... 9,.- I do not have any doubt. The team has to be very defensive, balanced and supportive. Everyone has to run to defend and be a rock behind. From there ... getting points. Tiki Taka's 'nice' game processes (Passing Game) are long processes that take a lot of time. TIme that we haven't. On the other hand, if you put up a good defense, if you don't concede goals, you already know that every game you are going to get at least one point. Once the permanence is achieved, the next season will be seen. 10.- Ok... Who is the man in the picture???? hahaha,

Best prep for dinner/visiting etc for years so I can chill/drink and I'm fucked! You couldn't make it up!

3 x 12 month instalments for all signings. The game only counts the first of these instalments as being part of your season 1 £200m limit. So you can actually spend £600m right at the start of the game. If you're really good like me, you can just about manage 4th place off the back of it.

Imagine being thumped 6-0 by a Newcastle side featuring Alan Smith, James Perch, Mike Williamson, Wayne Routledge and Xisco. But then that Villa side did have Ciaran Clark....

Ffs

If would if only evil fuckers stopped posting pics of Denise Squelch

Merry Xmas everyone! Hope you all have a great day with family and friends.

Doesn't matter.

From what I’ve heard (take it or leave it I’m not itk, it’s from someone who knows someone type of deal here), Sven Botman is our number 1 target, with Diego Carlos from Sevilla the second CB target. They want both, but Botman is by far their most desired target. I’ve also heard the Trippier deal is close, the Longstaff - Digne swap, and Ibrahim Sangare from PSV are other deals. In addition - there was very little appetite from the higher ups to engage in business with the lower PL sides (or PL sides at all for that matter) due to the “welcome” the consortium has received so its a we will take our money elsewhere situation. The swap I mentioned before was more a cheeky attempt as they (via the scout team) see it as mugging Everton off if we get Digne for Longstaff. Again take it or leave it all just what I’ve heard, but I’ve personally been disregarding a lot of these links to players like Tarkowski etc.

Well, its officially Christmas day here. Merry Christmas chaps, hope the day manages to be good for you whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Take care.

Lateral Flo… ( shamelessly nicked this from JawD)

Andrew “ Hi Kiwi doc, I’m having some stomach problems” Kiwi Doc ” Do you feel suck? Can you shut?” Andrew *get well soon mate.