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I bet you're charitable, and a vegan and have a full head of hair, too. God, this is like peering through the multiverse and finding a better version of yourself living their best life.

Well, its officially Christmas day here. Merry Christmas chaps, hope the day manages to be good for you whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Take care.

News just in - I’m still negative.

Sky sports are saying that we're planning a move for the Zenit St. Petersburg striker Sardar Azmoun. Given that he's Iranian, and the star of their national team, it could be an interesting geopolitical move if nothing else 😂

Merry Christmas one and all!

I've got a tight chest but that's because I'm a bit asthmatic and the mother-in-law is a chain smoker who won't open the window even a crack. Meanwhile, her brother walked in earlier and said hello with a cheery "I've got a runny nose, it's probably Omnicrom!". Scenes from a Lincolnshire Christmas, there.

Joyeux Noël

I bet he could teach you to be a better lover too. He could get you on some kind of beginners course, for instance

I've got a Direct Debit to a couple of charities, but I wouldn't say I was 'Charitable'. If someone asked me to sit at a trestle table and sell poppies, or clean up some waterfront somewhere. No sir. But I bet Saint Diego spends his downtime teaching orphans poetry, healthy cooking and how to be good people.

Wife and I are up in the Lakes for Christmas. Restaurant we had booked for Christmas day are fucking about with menus etc. With the 'vid situ we've decided to just cook and just been to Booths got a load of shite to eat and couldn't be happier. Merry crimbo you sexy bastards

Hello Charners

Don't you fucking start © essembee

All done- waiting for the family to piss off to church and I’ll have cheeky beer or several. Happy Christmas lads. Obligatory Christmas titties…

Renton in two weeks: “Strange how the title mentions an abundance of sun but Philadelphia has quite a temperate climate” Start with Season 2 btw

From what I’ve heard (take it or leave it I’m not itk, it’s from someone who knows someone type of deal here), Sven Botman is our number 1 target, with Diego Carlos from Sevilla the second CB target. They want both, but Botman is by far their most desired target. I’ve also heard the Trippier deal is close, the Longstaff - Digne swap, and Ibrahim Sangare from PSV are other deals. In addition - there was very little appetite from the higher ups to engage in business with the lower PL sides (or PL sides at all for that matter) due to the “welcome” the consortium has received so its a we will take our money elsewhere situation. The swap I mentioned before was more a cheeky attempt as they (via the scout team) see it as mugging Everton off if we get Digne for Longstaff. Again take it or leave it all just what I’ve heard, but I’ve personally been disregarding a lot of these links to players like Tarkowski etc.

Sprouts, curried cauli, duck eggs, and beer. Aye,Rancid Christmas

God dammit, he does have a full head of hair!

Could have probably got a cheaper meal in Michelin star restaurant rather than Booths. When I was in the lakes end of October most the hotels and restaurants were massively struggling with staff and either shut or on reduced hours, another Brexit bonus. Enjoy it anyway, I'm well jealous.

I had an idea of making some sort of art installation made out of used LFTs. Bookmark this, some "artistic" twat will do this in 2022 with WIll Gompertz frapping himself rotten over it.

Just send your family KD’s pic of the positive LFT, and wish them all the best. I’ll send you my PayPal so you can thank me later

Do not have any doubt that all teams have people from the communication department within the most important forums and fan centers.

That's the one. PS Fuck off Gemmill PPS Happy Christmas everyone 🎅

When we went down in 2016, Benítez was a bloody genius in the transfer market. The mixture of talent, graft and lower league brutality he brought in showed just how far outside the box he could think/work. That squad, mainly due to the utter fuckwittery and tightness of the previous cunt of an owner has ultimately led to where we are now, I think. So any thoughts on short termism need to be very well considered. Not just as to whether the funds would be there after the first bout of purchases and wage agreements, but because of longer term financial fair play bollocks.

Anyone think that Diego is just Charnley sat in his office on those excruciatingly long lunch breaks of his just trying to pull off the most elaborate of troll attempt he can think of? Well I do

We have. This is it

Oh Berge.

@Ant can we please start an over 50’s sub forum for this sort of pensioner shit? Thanks in advance.

I am already in the crisis of 30, but I keep myself as a youth

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas all!

Tip top here like.

Had a negative PCR but had a make or break few cans last night topped off with a glass of wine which went down no bother but it has indeed broke me as early hours till now I feel like I've been hit in the head with a sledgehammer. Still. Laying off it totally tonight and hoping I'm a bit more recovered by tomorrow. Been fine all fucking year as well.

Peter Blithe looking great for his age

Like they can think

I’ll keep the windows shut. I’m only about two miles away from you

Is there a black Peter Withe too? Like with Baggio

FTR: Fish 658 twitter followers Diego 3159 twitter followers Think that's about a 4-1 win for Diego

Seinfeld was pretty much the biggest ever sitcom in the USA. Tells you all you need to know tbh. The American Mrs. Browns Boys.

It's given me a good excuse to sack work off today anyway. Was meant to be in the office today but told them there's no chance I'm sitting in my spare bedroom on my laptop on Xmas eve Also, if this is as bad as my symptoms get then I've had a lucky escape

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia came along and did Seinfeld better than Seinfeld ever did it tbh

Seinfeld is fucking shite. The bloke loves the smell of his own farts, make a joke for fucks sake. Boring cunt, may as well watch Fraiser.

If this means that Clark will be dropped from a helicopter screaming then I’m all for it

Lateral Flo… ( shamelessly nicked this from JawD)

Alreet Hand Solo.

About an hour ago Fist Jnr was helping me prep for Christmas dinner and I was thinking “ He’s a good lad, you’ve done ok mate…” Then the little shithouse put a single grape in the freezer and said his mates had told him to try one. I’ve just got off the phone to the Adoption agency.… @The Fish you’ve got a lot to answer for you swine

Night out is an ideal mender tbh, Tom. Get stuck in. Also, my idea for a tiebreaker with Fish and Diego: Yard of Ale competition

There's a lot going on with that headline and photo. My first thought was that He-Man has let himself go a bit.