Leaderboard

😍

We’re fucked

He's not the only one, eh Ken?

Give me a high 6 Andrew

We'll file that under "No shit Sherlock". Not sure even the most bitterest mackem would disagree. Glad it happened in a match we had fuck all chance of getting a point from and not with a fellow struggler. Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone, this was our last per Christmas match. Once ManU are out the way, our fixtures look much more promising. Despite the scoreline we looked okay today, ditto Liverpool. We're not cut adrift and still have a chance imo.

Today changes nowt. We were never getting anything out of today’s match. We’re 3 points off safety. Obviously we need to have a very good January transfer window and we’re in a heap of bother but it’s not a done deal.

Great save, great clapping from big Jamal as well

[fade to black] On a river where they use the gravy boats...

*SPOILER ALERT* Every question is ‘where’s the fucking Shiraz?’

I see Klopp is complaining that a key decision didn’t go his way. Didn’t seem to have much of an issue on Thursday night though, the camel gobbed shithouse.

These people are paid a lot of money because they know what they’re talking about. It isn’t like they just come out with any old shit.

Let's be honest, we've just got far too many who are dogshit. January needs to be a brilliant window to have a chance.

Alreet man Gloomy.

Is Bletchley Park still decoding stuff? (Asking for a football message board). 👍

To be fair, seeing as the last two times the club has been sold it’s been once for nothing down only future parachute payments, and then again for a totally not fake sale to a bloke who might one day inherit some of daddy’s money, and another suitor was a man who lives under a bridge, I think it’s harsh of Crook Town to assume they need that £710.49 more than sunderland.

Staveley with a face of 'What the actual fuck have we done'

Diego is so depressed, he’s turned Jamaican

It's qwhite easy to work out.

I must confess to being very confused with the initial article which mentioned Crook Town and then said they were playing sunderland. “ Eh, same place isn’t it?”

Just buy up all the bottom six’s best players. If we can’t win then make sure they can’t either.

Fuck it. If Renton is upbeat, I am.

Need to put in a decent bid for var to get onside as well.

The task basically remains the same as it was before Liverpool. As Theresa May will tell you, NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

For £175k a week and a relegation clause, I think you'd be surprised.

Just got in from graft. How many did we win by, then?

The home team being given less than a 5% chance to win at home tells you everything you need to know about how competitive this league is.

Digne and Trippier as full backs would be a genuinely unprecedented improvement. I mean, in the history of world football

The best clapper we've had since Steven Taylor.

ASM is a couple of bandages away from turning out like The Invisible Man

Is it decided now that Joelinton is our best central midfielder?

Wendy's new hot and crispy fries look decent.

How anyone could say it is not is beyond me. There should also be a penalty given for Ederson's neck tattoo unless he can prove that it was given to him in prison.

We need to get December out of the way. If we keep on playing like this and actually build some momentum then there is still some small chance left to find three teams being worse than us.

“ I want the stair handrail sanded and painted…” ” But it’s the week before Christmas, love!” ” Yes, and your parents are visiting- I want everything perfect.” *mutters “ Bloody hell Rayvin, other husbands just get pissed.”

Think they just use some form of condensed Blue Pop instead of gravy. Afterall, everyone knows that gravy was invented by that Shadowy Cabal of Tyneside Businessmen™.

Anyone know what game of the day was on MOTD last night?

State of it, honestly

I think you’ll stay up too, mate. 👍

What makes you think teams like Burnley, Watford, Leeds and Southampton will so better than us after the transfer window? I reckon we're about 50 50 to go down. Honestly don't care much either way mind, this is way down in my priorities.

We didn’t look like a team losing by four goals though. Everything would probably been different from f we hadn’t given them easy goals in the first half and not to get denied a penalty to fire us up.

Fuck the goal difference, I think we should still give it a go just for the boost in confidence if we score one.

Looks like he's just finished a shift as a metro inspector.

Captain slug balancer

It’s really strange. We do actually do not look too bad, but the accumulation of individual fuck ups and not getting any decision means that everything is just futile.

I reckon we'll have the beating of a canny few teams in the second half of the season. You heard it here first.