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That escalated quickly

It seems like a good idea until your taxi arrives and you realise that CT is the driver.

So, Mrs. F. has decided that part of this year’s Christmas decorations are to include painting the bathroom radiator … because we’re having my family over on Boxing Day. I’ve offered to call my brother and Grandma Fist and offer them counselling to prepare for a radiator they won’t notice not having been painted since summer, but no, it must be glossed, today. Bat Shit Insane

In situations like this, the only question you need to ask is "What would Denise Welch do?" Do the exact opposite and you'll be fine

To all TT infected households hope you can all have the best Christmas possible I was sneezing & shivering when I got in from work last night, thought the worst, did LFT (negative) ….woke up this morning fine, but was so pre occupied with dark Covid thoughts last night I forgot I was supposed to go into work this morning for a couple of hours

I didn't think you had any taste to lose tbh, CT?

Another manifestation of Mrs. F’s utter Christmas insanity is that we are, as a family, wiping our arses with the Snowman.… … as we do every year, because she’s a few slices short of a loaf. I’m not kidding either- she was frantic in November that she wouldn’t be able to get any in due to shortages.

Too fucking late, second coat is on the radiator already.

They’re Burnley fans. An apology is too much for them.

Classy: https://mikeamosblog.wordpress.com/2021/12/18/december-17-2021/

Shes 5. Had to do daily LFTs to get to school last week. She was fine with them but would have been harder a year or two ago. She was just bribed with Nutella on toast for breakfast everyday

Yeah, we’re such a bunch of cynics on here that sometimes we miss the fact that some people got to their positions by doing the hard yards (even people we hate). It’s genuinely mind boggling when you think of how many hard yards of rancid, middle-aged cocks she’s had to dig out from under their paunches to get to where she is today.

£710.50 Fucking bamps

Ciaomanheyman won't be happy you taking his match reports over.

The idiots out in force down London today I see.....

They sent that tweet at 12:40 for a 3 o clock kickoff. The cut off time has to come before that or else you put out whatever you can cobble together and next time don't be silly cunts.

While of course our games against Liverpool and Man City go ahead

Guarantee CT is having a wank over that later.

It is, but since they’re both chubby, unfunny, and sex pests on the text, they’re easily interchangeable.

Fate, take note, I’m not tempting you! So far the worst symptom is loss of taste. A few days now. Urgh

There are Tories just like her up and down the country - “aspirational” working class who blame all their problems on the benefit scroungers next door or immigrants. There is also a breed of Tory voter who genuinely believe the old money elite were born to rule. It’s quite staggering but I’ve seen it first hand. This idea that those born into wealth are better placed to manage tne public finances, despite all the evidence to the contrary

I think we all know the answer to this. She "worked hard" and fully believes that the reason she's got to where she is, comes down to there being something special about her. Something that makes her better than the people she came from. Anyone could make a success of themselves no matter their background, if they just work hard enough (but only people with as much grit as she has, will ever manage this). Those that don't, deserve their strife.

It’s a bit unusual that he’s England’s sixth highest scorer ever and not one of his clubs’ fans speak highly of him.

Shame about the police being unable to start investigations with it happening in the past…

It’s bollocks of course. He’s going because they’re caving on the N Ireland protocol

Guess who my sister thinks should be PM. I'm not fucking joking either. I tried to have a sensible conversation about how much of a deplorable cunt he was the other night, but she thinks he's this superhero who just wants the best for people. Absolutely unreal. Honestly, my sister didn't give a single shit about politics all her life, couldn't have named a single MP 12 months ago, wouldn't have known who the leader of the Labour Party is. Now she thinks she knows it all and ALL of her heroes are utter fucking shit heads. And guess where she lives her life. Fucking Facebook.

Leeds getting rodded again. You categorically love to see it.

The decision should have to come the day before the match tbh. Make a call then based on the number of players out and the number potentially exposed. Be prudent if it looks like you will be seriously disadvantaged. Then still go ahead with testing the day of the game to make sure you aren't fielding anyone with covid, but you have to put out whatever team you can. You can't have people travelling to the match, paying for trains and all the rest of it, and 2 hours before kickoff announce that the match is off. That is pure nonsense from Villa.

Manchester United getting a nice little break ahead of their game with us as well, meanwhile we had to play Leicester, Liverpool, and Manchester City in the same time span. The same goes with Spurs who’ve had games off and play Liverpool tomorrow. It’s becoming a bit fucking ridiculous, you’d have thought they’d have learnt from last time and called the emergency meeting this past mid week rather than ridiculously trying to push on with these fixtures. Calling games off barely a match length ahead of time is an absolute fucking disgrace btw.

Understandable- She doesn’t want you picking up an injury at Christmas

Canny little season break Burnley are getting too btw. Didn't play in the week, now they get the weekend off.

What about lashing £150 on a taxi or something daft like that? Depends how far away you are but much safer than trains and you could just get trains back.

Bad crack for the both of you, that like. This next week is going to be proper squeaky bum time for everyone. Saying that, am I fuck staying away from people if I’m testing negative, not after those cunts spent the entirety of every lockdown holding parties.

That’s the spirit!

I don’t think she ever worked as a nurse although she was happy for people to think that until a bit of digging. Not that it changes your point but I wouldn’t want anyone to think she’d ever done anything selfless like that

My Grandkids in Norwich seem to be recovering pretty quickly. Hopefully your kids will be the same mate

Some people are born cunts.

The bloke won the Ballon D'or at Liverpool and won them 5 trophies in 2 seasons and he's still hated https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.sportbible.com/football/news-michael-owen-was-booed-by-liverpool-fans-on-anfield-return-yesterday-20190324.amp.html

All because the club’s Twitter account didn’t wish him a happy birthday on Tuesday.

How do you grow up on a council estate in Liverpool, as a Daughter of a bus driver, work as a Nurse and still somehow manage to become a Tory? Nadine Dorries is the worst of the lot IMO. She's seen first hand the damage her party does to working class Northern towns. At least most of her colleagues were born into money and know no different

Normal country

What a fucking twerp Owen is. Man with zero mates has no clue why a fan base of a club he literally gave up playing for as they were fighting relegation, and has went out of his way numerous times to slate, don’t like him. Saying he feared for his safety btw attention seeking little dick head.

Dirty Leeds getting sucked into this battle

You’ve saved on a huge pile of washing though.

Try a proper car service as well (as opposed to taxis). I was in London on 7/7 with work and all the trains were fucked, and they got a car for us back from London which was only a couple of hundred.

Is driving an option? That cuts the risk massively. Edit - I mean, can someone give you a lift? I doubt you’d be able to take an intensive driving course in time

I’ve got a load of toddler clothing from when my daughter was little, was going to give it to him- quality gear too … … so it’s not to be sniffed at.

It’s a joke she’s an mp let alone part of the cabinet. She’s a proper divvy

Oof! Is that everyone self isolating then?