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It’s gone viral.

Do they not play any of their songs?

Yeah but do you still have to go to see the Darkness?

Purely consistent with the kind of wretched output people with names like “@OohWine” put out into this world. Bet she calls people cockwombles and piss-puffins. I also bet Fish follows her

He gets his suits from Mothercare.

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PCR results back, about as good as could be reasonably expected. 5 negative but the lad is indeed positive. Good news is still no symptoms and it doesn't seem to be Omicron. Gonna be an absolute ballache trying to keep a hypermobile, non-verbal autistic 4 year old isolated from the rest of the family like. Probably just a case of the rest of us doing daily Lateral Flow tests and crossing our fingers.

Granted, it's not easy when you can't reach the lightbulbs.

Just realised there, if I was Martin Offiah I would have been livid at Chariots as a nickname, when Great Balls was also available.

Aye. Well it didn't take me long to extract myself from the Christmas do. Email sent this morning... "in light of recent developments...". Absolutely tremendous.

Made my annual Day 1 pilgrimage to the GABBA test match yesterday. It's a tradition. And with the English affinity for tradition in mind, you'll all be happy to know that the long tradition of the English losing at the GABBA seems well intact. Even your best friend, rain, seems powerless to help you. *Oh Britannia!* (God, I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.) Also, it was definitely a good toss to lose yesterday. Day 1 Gabba is a batsmen's paradise but the weather was muggy af and it was always going to hoop around early doors. But there is ZERO chance an English captain ever chooses to bowl first at the GABBA again after Nasser's gaffe in 2003. If there was ever an opportunity for it, though, it was yesterday. First ball showed that and the lack of resistance afterwards confirmed it. The most resilience I saw all day was from the pisshead who refused to move when the cops and two lots of security guards came to remove him from the ground after they felt de-manned by the size of the mightily impressive cup snake he'd built during the rain delay.

Don’t you live in Scotland?

Agreed. Of course there is always the chance his successor will continue the attack on the institutions with added vigour. One thing about Johnson is that he is an opportunist and would destroy the country to serve himself. Others could be more dangerous as they are ideologically just evil. But I really struggle to imagine Gove as PM, he's really unlikable plus there is allegedly a lot of stuff in his cupboard. The other thing that strike me about the Britannia Unchained gang is that they really are THICK AS PIGSHIT. Without someone like Cummings directing them, they soon fall to pieces, as the last few months has basically shown (not that I think Cummings is some sort of genius, far from it).

absolute nonsense

Anyone got any Smart Home shit going on? The storm last week killed my doorbell so I bought a Ring Video one to replace it. Then got the bug and bought a Ring security system (alarm basically) which arrives tomorrow, along with a camera spotlight for the back garden. (my wanker old school alarm needs a service and they want me to pay £300 for a three year contract, when I can get a full Ring system for cheaper and no service bullshit to deal with). And I've ordered a quote for installing Nest to control the heating. And I bought my first smart lightbulbs, although that one is cos I let my lass measure for a cabinet in the spare room, and she measured so that the cabinet completely covers the light switch. Where if I just replace the light bulb with a smart one, I can tell Alexa to turn the fucker on (or use my phone), taking the switch right out of the game. Who's with me? If nothing else, CT is about to drop 2 grand after reading this post.

Thats why last nights statement was a parcel of dead cat nonsense vomit..."work from home but by all means go to the office party"....

He can stick his world class talent up his arse.

“Don’t ask me…”

Found the engagement notice from when The Fish and his missus got together.

I imagine you've been walking around the house in shades, a beer can hard hat, with a sprig of mistletoe attached to your belt buckle, ever since this press conference finished

fight me irl you fucking bastard how DARE you come on here and mock us

Loved that album- me and Mrs. Fist had just got together and it was one of our “ listen to with a spliff when we got home in the morning” regulars. Why the fuck did we have kids?

There's been a covid outbreak in the Leicester camp. Lookman, Amartey, Iheanacho, Vestergaard, Perez, Benkovic, and Daley-Campbell haven't travelled to the Napoli game. Obviously only really Lookman, Inheanacho and Vestergaard are starters, or in Iheanacho's case someone who usually plays at least 20 minutes per match so important if not a nailed on starter. Regardless it's yet more disruption to the Leicester team before the match on Sunday. Everything seems to be pointing towards us having a very decent shout at getting a positive result on Sunday, so expect us to lose 4-0 😉👍

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You and HR… sheesh!

They’re fucking mint live mind. Once went to see them by accident after a “recovery pint” turned into a all day session about 12 year ago when I was a mere doylem.

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Is he cynical enough to do that? Yes. Would any self respecting medical professional do so? You'd hope not.

I'm assuming the lass in the yellow is putting it out there that she's available for wagdom?

Eh? I'm 5'11 you mad bastard! Do you have trouble judging people's height from up there?

I think it's because he's properly proportioned isn't it. He's not a dwarf or a midget. More like someone who has been shrunk by some Sci-Fi device.

Amber Rudd resigned because a colleague got some immigration figures wrong that she reported as factual to the HoC. Look at the date...it seems like another planet... BBC News - Amber Rudd resigns as home secretary http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-43944988

Omicron is a fucking limp dick, lads.

If the stupid twat had sent his u18 team and lost 12-0 they wouldn't have been relegated Typical ex-manc arrogance - now where have we seen that again closer to home?

Completely agree about the conditions, but understand Anderson not playing as he will be more suited to Adelaide D/N game. Why Broad wasn't picked though, to have a first up go against Warner under leaden skies. Picking Leach has been shown to be the wrong decision. Already hit out of the attack after a few overs. We were always likely to lose this game, especially batting first. Batting second would have been the best chance of a draw, with the rain interventions likely. Also, Stokes overstepping is the <insert name here> dropping the Ashes moment. I don't understand why he was so far over and more importantly why his previous 3 no balls weren't called. If one or more had been, he may have moved his mark. He may not have bowled the same delivery, but ... At least the Perth test has been moved, so I don't have to put myself through the gloating when it ends up 5-0!

What's Leighton Baines doing these days?

Is that Shane Ramsey?

The real question here isn’t the cup snake, it’s Mr. Stick Legs there- did his shorts shrink, did his legs grow? What’s going on with the tan/white band there? Also, why is Peter Jackson, by the rail. drinking pints in the Oz end, when he should be fielding Beatles questions in his house in Hobbiton?

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