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Not a dickie bird from Holt, Gledinning, that twat from the I paper or any of the other usual suspects about the Saudi GP today mind ... funny that

TGQ’s ma and da have spent the day discretely removing all knives and sharp objects from the house.

🎵So here take his scarf from his wrist, son. I know he'd want you to have it now, And we both said a prayer for a top bootboy called essembee.🎶

It’s mint, isn’t it?

Leicester are away to Napoli on Thursday night, that might help us.

Owen got a message from them too… ” Not you, cunt.”

Well, there's always one toon legend to be seen in and around the city.

Get the match thread started before anyone else jinxes it. You’re on a two game unbeaten run

Woohoohoohoo essembee 27-3-70 Woohoohoohoo essembee "Existing in space-time is cowardly"

Woohoohoohoo essembeeofsunderland Things are never quite the way they seem Woohoohoohoo essembeeofsunderland This was an awfully strange poster on Toontastic

Took them good and proper.

Remember the time Knacker Nile nearly knocked over MF and the family and MF was foaming shouting, 'It's alright, Nile, we should've got off the road quicker, great game the other day, Nile. You never stopped, nice meeting you, good luck for the rest of the season, mate! Any chance of a selfie, Nile? Nah, it's alright, we're a bit busy too to be honest, mate. Cheers, Nile!' 😉

Put him in charge of transfers, he can put his money laundering experience to good use

I would love Lingard. Purely because he’s an absolute bellend. A proper comic book modern footballer, we’re going to need them if we’re ever to be truly unbearable. “J-Lingz bought £8m diamond encrusted Ferrari AFTER penalty miss & told fan “it’s sound fan, merked!”

Level of interlect as high as ever.

Everton have proven only too well that you can spend £500m and get absolutely nowhere. If he's turned up with some plans for a big bang turnaround, and been told that we want to be a bit more measured, I don't particularly mind that.

Im buzzing this morning after yesterday

I enjoyed Shelvey standing in front of their keeper while he was screaming at the ref, just calmly repeating "You dropped the ball..... You dropped the ball" with a smirk on his face.

He's with Reading now is he..? Is it working out or just the normal? EDIT - normal being: injured and useless.

Agreed - this is one of the most winnable games we have, and we should aim for all points. And if we manage it, we'll suddenly be looking a lot happier.

Just having a browse through RTG and the usual fighting is going on between people who are outraged at where the club is, and those who just don't want to hear it. The thing that it got me thinking about was just how similar all 4 of their seasons in L1 have been - iirc they've always been in positions 3-6, always with a game or two in hand that would potentially put them in the automatic slots, and always somehow incapable of capitalising on it. They've had multiple different managers who have all more or less achieved the same outcome. Maybe it's just not going to happen. I mean if they did go up, on this evidence they'd be struggling at the bottom of the championship. I'm not totally sure of how much overlap there is between lower champ and upper L1, but I'm assuming it's not more than a couple of teams either way. Eventually you would think they won't be able to sustain the current placing in L1 - and it that happens and they sink to midtable, how long before they build the next team that's going to be capable of pushing out? And how long then in the championship recalibrating, consolidating, and pushing up? They could be out of the top flight for 20 years based on how this is going, it's incredible.

I fucking loved that song. Had it on 7 inch single.

Hunting Charlie down? /StanRidgeway

I hope they are successful in prosecuting the parents of the latest school shooter in Michigan. We (literally, meaning the department I am working at) did it successfully with the last shooting in Germany in 2009 when the father got sentenced for his negligence later.

And another

Kinky bastard

One of the responses to that gun fetishist's tweet.

As well as legal experience He’s also got experience in tricky technical situations like when someone put a raw chicken on the bonnet of his car for seemingly no reason.

Could it not be a relevant asset in terms of advertising for other parts of the portfolio? i.e. the same thing Ashley was doing. I'm just saying I'm wary of getting carried away until we've seen them walk the walk. Granted it's far too early to expect them to have done that so far, but on the other hand it's far too early to assume we'll be a superclub, especially since they haven't outright said it (and yes, I do appreciate your suggested reasons on why they could have done that, but while that stance would indeed be sensible, it doesn't prove anything). I would be very encouraged by the signings you've mentioned there. Equally though, I wouldn't write the superclub vision off even if we did hardly anything in January and went down. We just don't know what this will look like in the end.

Did you forget to sign in on your Clarko account?

Norwich 1 down already. CAM ON YOU FACKIN SPURS.

This Downing St party thing is quite amusing - why would the Met investigate a crime they're 100% complicit it? They must have entrance logs as well as security detail shift details so I'm guessing it was fully authorised at the top. The quote about not investigating retrospective crimes is so wonderfully stupid it must emanate directly from Cressida "he vaulted the barriers" Dick.

So this fella is trying to imply that Staveley is too fond of the limelight to hire a DOF? That sounds like absolute nonsense. It doesn't even make any logical sense. Amanda could have a spread in Hello magazine every week if she wanted, and park the DOF in the basement to get on with his actual job is if she wanted. So aye, I agree with Paddock, Emenalo has likely got a pet lip because he didn't get the job, and this journalist is facilitating his tantrum. If that is the case maybe we're better off without him, despite his very impressive CV. Emenalo himself of course seems pretty fond of publicity with his features in the Guardian about him being a social justice activist. Which of course on the face of it can be a very worthy pursuit, but the well has been poisoned somewhat by Twitter activists, celebrities etc, many of which clearly see it as a way to enhance their own profile and power above anything else.

Plus the fact that we have a run of tough games prior to January is a good thing as we'll have a chance to strengthen prior to playing the lesser sides, where we'll be more likely to pick up the requisite points.

I don’t really see it being relevant in that respect especially if the intended aim isn’t to be some super club. It would be fairly low interest advertising on an expensive billboard. Think we agree there’s no way of knowing the true intention until things start to move. I don’t think even if they come out and said it that it would be more likely as again it’s just words, Ashley himself said he wouldn’t leave unless he won a trophy and then made the team even worse. I’m wary myself but I also don’t see many reasons to not be somewhat confident that their sights are set high, I’m not particularly worried either way as tbh it’s already miles better than Ashley era given we have a manager we like. My real point here was more don’t take any messages of low ambition from these journalists. They’re speaking completely out of turn and know fucking nothing - as clearly seen by Law getting an absolute smack down from Mehrdad likely brought on by yet another senseless and snidey insult made by Law about Amanda (funny that Telegraph writers seem to have it in for her).