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Bruce would be crowing in the post match press conference about the press all having egg on their face, and how you don't manage 1000 games without knowing a thing or two about football

Does feel like it could be the start of something... God I feel like CT.

Well, I missed the whole fucking thing as I was dropping bags of fucking crisps and fanny pads to frozen cunts around Alston and Garrigill. Couldn’t get Radio Newcastle- Radio fucking Cumbria or Radio Porridge. No internet. No fucking visuals either. You can all fuck off ( thank fuck we finally won though.).

Sorry lads, but Jenny from accounts fancies Barbara from HR. She turned the other way when a lad called Dave put her off sex with men for life when he said he felt guilty shagging her halfway through as he thought she was a bit psychologically delicate at the time. She's all about the minge now.

When the Apocaplyse is over, and the Earth is scoured, Derek Wright will still be NUFC Physio

Howe: “The relationship we’ve quickly built with the supporters has been a really special one. I thought they were absolutely magnificent today for the club - I can’t thank them enough and it’s just an amazing feeling to get that first win for them as a big thank you for everything they’ve given to me and the team the last few weeks." “We knew how desperate they were for that first victory, we all were, but to get it was an amazing feeling. The reaction at the end, the scenes with the players, that can only galvanize us to hopefully move forward positively.”

Ciaomanheyman he watcha Roma v Inter. Roma in a bad moment they losing 3-0 in firsta half. Mourinho a leetle beet sheet, signor Gemmill, hisa mouse Di China smaller than yours!

Credit to Gloom like. The lengths he goes to justify his love of going out and getting wasted is admirable

Mate that's Fish's wife you're talking about. He ended up marrying her.

Settle in for some positivity. Newcastle need 1.3 points per game from the rest of the season to get to 40 points. If you managed that over the course of a season, it's the equivalent of having a 49-50 point season. We finished 12th last year with 45 and Villa finished 11th with 55. So you've basically got to have a rest-of-season somewhere near as good as those two teams. That is categorically not out of the question with a manager that actually knows how to coach and a transfer window. AND 40 points is probably more than is required. So......

Divvent use ya keks

Lewis looking at Gayles cock

Fucking Stevenage Our lower league nemesis. Although I guess Sunderland deserve an honourable mention there.

looks like a session ale. got to get in to double figures with that one.

That was a good win. Onwards and upwards. Night lads.

4 in the morning and I'm screaming out in my lounge room. This is a huge result.

Only 3 points in it now. For 1 win in 15 and still to be 1 win away from safety is unbelievable

Fuck me I'm exhausted

The real househusbands of Burnley are a bit of bunch of diving fannies really.

Joe fast becoming my fav player and thats something I never thought I'd say

Followed up with he has never slagged us off

Lads, let's remember the rules today. No "FUCK OFF", "FUCK", "SHIT", "FUCK SAKE" unless Burnley have just scored.

Ritzy. I've been walking round the house screaming it in my lass's face all morning. She's gone out now.

When you talk about the mixed messaging though, who do you think is providing the advice that should be followed? It's Harries, not the PM. We know only too well that he is prepared to take a risk with people's lives and just hope that things turn out for the best. It's the thing that winds me up about my work - slavishly following government advice in a developing situation when, if we've learned anything over the past 2 years, this is the point at which they'll be getting the advice wrong. I totally understand the "we've just got to live with it" position, but that is a decision you take at an individual level and everyone will have a different appetite for risk. Like it's a shame that your kid's thing has been cancelled, but if that was my lass's school, my attitude would be sorry but fuck off, there are teachers with health conditions who have parents and grandparents with health conditions who they'll be seeing over the Christmas period, and it makes no sense to fill a room with people, some of whom will DEFINITELY have it, and just tell them to suck it up for the sake of some end of term celebration. Same with Xmas do's. If there hadn't just been this new variant come up, then I would totally agree that we should just be cracking on with stuff. But what if we get to January and we find out, actually we now have enough data to know that Omicron is an absolute motherfucker that resists vaccines and fucks people right up. "Oh but I wanted to go to my Christmas do..." is gonna look like a pretty mental thing to be looking back on as the reason you're at your mam's funeral.

Shelvey’s been an absolute beast. Immense. Second only to BBJ7. Credit to Howe for getting a tune out of players we’d given up on.

First win I've been to since 2019, and it's almost 2022 ffs! Wasn't a very enjoyable match from a spectator pov, was stressful as fuck. First 30 minutes the lack of confidence in both the team and the crowd was palpable. Feel more relieved than anything else now. In with a chance.

Fucking love him. Who’d have thought it?

Hence #can singular

Somebody else will be touching cloth later on.

Eddie has been great for us.

Can't wait to watch Watford get molested by City now.

Fuck off

What is this strange feeling?

Lewis with a zero cowardice block. Stick that in your pipe essembee.

We need a second because you’d stick the mortgage on us conceding.

NO

No one sent off yet which is an improvement

It's Bob Mortimer who goes on about Dyche's disc beard, isn't it?

Aye we need pace against this team of proper men today, men from Burnley are hard as fuck.. they live off a diet of bricks, nails and wood for well balanced proper hard cunt nutrition. I just hope big ginger Sean doesnt growl at his warriors to break any of our fragile athletes spirit, god speed everyone

Tux2 memories kicking in, Gem?

I'm not letting Trooper have all the fun.

Agree to disagree, standing at a bar is fucking shite. Steve from accounts buying a round for all his workmates, 3 pints of lager, 2 cocktails and then ten minutes later he orders a Guinness for the lad who “likes his ale”. sit at the table, order from the online menu, like a civilised person.