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Except the ladies at the taxi rank.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other? Juan on Juan.

peep peep no way are Everton going down you biscuit

Held on to a tree at the top, hung my hoop over the edge, opened the bomb bay doors, watched it drop, disappear from view, then burst out laughing as a brown circle suddenly appeared at the foot of the cliff. Minging, aye, ticked off the bucket list, aye that too. The stars were truly aligned as my firm ejecta was also the Holy Grail of shites- a ghost wipe…not a mark on the paper.

I don’t think going back to a prior manager would be an answer. I also would have massive faith in Howe absolutely bossing the Championship, tbf even if Howe had the squad we have now with a whole pre season under his belt I don’t think we’d be any where near the position we are in. Obviously that’s impossible to know but just looking at the impact he’s had on performances, fitness levels, etc. On a perhaps harsher point I think Rafas career is winding down a bit, in contrast we are a big chance for Howe to step up to the next level of manager. I’m not saying they’re comparable btw, Rafas record as a manager speaks for itself, I just mean I think it’s an exciting chance for a young manager who may grow with the club, as opposed to a manager whose best years are likely behind him as a manager (again maybe harsh). I also agree with KCG that the football will be more entertaining, while it’s not a concern in the situation we are in currently I think when things turn around it will be something the fans want to see.

I'll not moan about the Cheerios this year.

I wouldn't kiss her under an anaesthetic never mind the mistletoe.

What did the Mexican say when his house fell on him? Get off me homes!

Stop calling the cunt ‘Boris’

So if I tip £4 at a Chinese restaurant they're not touching it? Cheers, lads!

My mum genuinely has a 'letter' I wrote to her because she grounded me and forbid me from taking part in the school play/nativity/talent show. Can't remember the crime, but clearly I felt the punishment was over the top. I think I asked why she hated me and told her she was 'ruining my life'. Quiff and CT would be proud of the flounce.

That's not about wiping though, that's evacuation. The question for the likes of PaddockLad is "do you kick your footstool aside or stand on it like a fucking Olympic medal winner?"

I'm not looking for a poll, I want to know who does what. I'm basically looking to write some people off as human beings.

He could stick his turd on that fucking barnet and it still wouldn't make it any worse.

Renton settling in for a Friday night in with the lads

Rodimus Prime is my new nickname for my knob. Thank you.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand? Cuatro cinco

It’s how they threaten posh people with kneecapping over there

By staving off the inevitable and dropping you at the first opportunity he arguably inflicted more damage. Can’t remember what happened in the two seasons after that though

Troops is the ultimate doomscroller. Starts every day with a boiled egg and side portion of covid horror stories.

I'm starting to wonder if he isn't Steve Wraith wearing a fake beard tbh. Agenda seems identical.

"Think ah'll put something like...... 'Former toon star, once a starlet for Sir Bobby Robson at the cathedral on the hill, Stephen Glass SHATTERS Matty's SPL dreams.' You just can't buy craic like that, diary. Punter's number one for a fucking reason, believe you, me. Lol! Ryder hit's the back of the net once ah-fuckin-gain!"

I prefer Howe tbh, I think the football is better

Hoo ye calling a dirty bastard? Show some respect. I'm bordering on forensic, I put MRI scans to shame

You need a powerful squat if you go wild camping that’s all I’m saying. Balance is important, especially after a drink

I simply lean onto one cheek in a manner reminiscent of Steve McQueen manoeuvring a car through the tightly wound streets of San Francisco.

120 degrees is standing. You're a stander and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind.

We already knew you were a freak. Is anyone else brave enough to confess to something so unspeakably weird?

or the 4 subsequent ones for that matter.

Got to give credit where it’s due- it’s some feat to be pictured having a shit in your seat and have as many comments about your terrible haircut as the filthy act itself.

What he did with his "Orcs & Goblins" is his own business 🤣

This sounds like a threat.

Aye, but 2022 should be fine.

OHHHH THE WORM HAS TURNED. Booked in for the 15th. SUCK MY BOOSTER!

They better hurry up with these bastarding booster jabs. I got my vaccine before I should have because of a no show. Now France are saying it's only valid up to seven months so will have expired before I get away on my skiing holiday in January. I'm the unseen victim of this pandemic.

You'd have been relegated if he stayed and he knew it, the England job couldn't have been better timed from his POV. The well was dry and your squad wasn't staying up, Moyes shouldn't have been as open about it so early but you just knew he couldn't believe the shit sandwich he was left.

i assume drink was involved

Watford lost tonight and they've got City at the weekend. Beat Burnley and we could be 3 points from safety. Leicester game after that isn't a write off either as they've been shite recently. We are running out of chances to close the gap though

They're revolting alright.

De Gea is an absolute fanny btw. Back to the ball as well. Your classic coward behaviour.

It's a goal against Man United and it's fucking hilarious. These are a few of my favourite things.

It would be completely out of order to replace Howe with the bloke that had just taken Everton down.

You can do that sitting down, you dirty bastard. Take a load off. Are you holding it up to the light or something?

It's just ridiculous. Standing up to wipe your arse. You're sat down ffs, what are you rising out of your seat for?

Of course he did. #waltermitty #newballsplease #heronfoods #trampsnest