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Lee fucking Charnley. The last lingering fart in the lift of Ashley's stagnant, pathetic NUFC. An overpromoted, inept nobody who took the very little he had to work with, and produced something that was less than the sum of its parts. A man whose sole qualification was a complete lack of dignity or spine when dealing with Ashley himself. He'll never work in football again, I'm quite sure. Fuck off forever, Lee.

Fish starts every long post like he’s a comic book villain about to do a monologue. Now you all have to live with noticing this every time out

At least the Saudi lads should be able to sort Howe out with a dodgy stream for tomorrow afternoon.

The Pearson variant

There’s surely some stats that tell the story that Charnley was fucking brilliant in his role. Tbh he lasted longer in the role than any of his predecessors so was vital. 😉

Yeah, looking at the plans in more detail Manchester and Lancashire in general are massive winners in this and West and North Yorkshire, and the NE, are screwed. So now we have an East-West divide as well as a North-South divide. Having said that, it would not surprise me if they change the plans again and stiff Manchester. Talking of trains, I'd like to complain about the terrible misleading signage in train stations. I was at Penrith the other day and far from getting what was promised from standing at the platform edge, I was very nearly hit by an express train.

His wife worked at my old place. The amount of times she must have been sat in the canteen listening to complete strangers calling her husband a cunt.

Whatever else you might say about oil and bonesaws, at least they definitely exist

Maybe Eddie looked at his stats and thought “ Fuck me, this lads mint!”

Wykiki's bus sounds radge. If they're not rapping, they're fighting. Sounds like he lives in an episode of Fame.

Can someone check on CT... keep the sharps away from the fucker ffs

Director of Trouser Commotion.

Oh Charnaz, man! Farewell my sweet prince, I'll never forget those deals patiently waiting to jump over the line, the painstaking quests to hire managers of the calibre of Pardew, McLaren, or Bruce or my particular favourite, the groundbreaking research that you put into conflating cup runs with relegation. It's been reeeeeally interesting. I'll leave my fond farewell in the capable hands of Johnny C.....

Stuff like this makes me wonder how many people must have shit on him and how open to blackmail he may be. Anyway, hopefully it will make his home life less bearable now his wife knows his feelings, if it wasn't already obvious. She also deserves all she gets like.

Luke Edwards must be fucking seething that he didn’t get an invite to the TF talk in. I fully expect him and the Knight Ryder to turn up in the Labour club tonight for their own impromptu show.

The kid in this gif btw. I could watch that all day. Fucking incredible.

@Clarkoreacts.

Gayle made the winning team. That's a ratio of 1:1 on the winning team. I.e a 100% winning team which makes him the bestest

You never see them lying on a settee with a hot water bottle on their bellies moaning like fuck, do you?

Its presser day! Make sure CT has got his Tena lady in

I blame the stalkers

FFS!

It’d be great to get your lot in the draw-See you in the 3rd round… Oh…

“ SAFC would like to welcome our new director of seat cleaning, here’s the Marigolds and bleach, Row Z has a steamer on it.”

"Allah was saying, like, is......geddit? 'Allah was saying'? Lol"

fuck off yer horrible little complicit cunt.

Even if we get relegated and they somehow get Promoted we’d absolutely destroy them next year. They’re absolutely shite. No matter what guise we meet them under we’re on a different planet to them now. I mean we were under Ashley but PIF are something else altogether the murdering radgie bastards l. There are some scores to settle mind….

BREAKING: Newcastle United announce £50bn sponsorship deal with Allah

Should have put a wink, I was being a sarcastic cunt because of the lad with the Shelvey fan club badge going on about it making no sense earlier.

I can’t even be arsed to take the piss out of this Pearson character

"What's the big fucking deal like?"

A match day thread that's on 4 pages already before a match Last few years we would be on 4 pages 5 days after a match

I've nearly posted the same about 5 times.

Woooaaaahhhh body forrrrmm!!!

If your name is Clark why do you call yourself Clarko and not Clarkey? For that reason alone I wouldn't trust your judgement on anything.

I believe it refers to interviews for a CEO.

He’s too busy hoisting refugees back in to Belarus to bother with football.

clarko in 1,2,3,.....

In days gone by before social media someone would've went outside and told him to fuck off long ago and done it in a threatening manner. Now your route's more likely.

TITLE UPDATE

It's going to get to the point where they'll give him a signed shirt and tell him to fuck off.

Our fans man Might have thought he was an insulate Britain protestor. Poor bloke probably just wanted to get home.

Shelvey powering up for tomorrow. Anybody started wondering if Clarko might be Howe yet? Big into detail, lots of stats, loves Jonjo Shelvey.

we must be practically listening to it in stereo! not sure who it was speaking but just touched on atmosphere in town before the spurs game and folk returning after years away and being able to take their kids to a match again etc. poignant for me this like, our support being united again for the first time in what feels like an eternity is probably the most important thing in ashley fucking off.

One of the easiest, if not the easiest, goodwill gestures you can make and it sums Mike Ashley up that he couldn’t or wouldn’t even do that.

Imagine if it does. Merson will be fewming like hes just drop £2m on sad ken at the 3:30. Cunt.

Paging @Howmanheyman

Get Ant to backdate this post if you need it for a court defence mate. Good luck.