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Duck Lip cunt

It's when, not if. They get rid of managers quicker than their hard-drives.

I'll reply fully when I finish my moves.

My info is that his wife won’t let him go that far north. This was given to me by my mate Phil the plasterer who did a load of work round their gaff during lockdown. He also started a rumour that Jamie Redknapp was shagging Mrs Howe on the side. But he wasn’t, it was JR’s brother Mark, and he wasn’t shagging her, he was sorting out the finer points of a deal to rent a house from the Howes, and that’s why he was round there whilst Eddie wasn’t there. Make if that what you will

THAT FUCKER EDWARDS IN HIS TORY SHITRAG: Eddie Howe did not just interview for the Newcastle United manager’s job, he explained why he wanted it, what needed to be done to keep the club in the Premier League and what he would do to improve the team in both the short and medium term. It was not a sales pitch, it was a comprehensive and detailed plan, addressing the immediate needs of a team that has not won a game since May, the type of players he would want in January to strengthen the squad and what his vision was for the summer and beyond. Nobody else who was given the chance to impress Newcastle United’s new owners were able to match it. Howe was already of interest to several members of the consortium and their advisors, but until that meeting over Zoom he was seen as a peripheral candidate. Bigger names, along with some boasting a few more varied and trophy winning CVs were seen as the front runners. All of that changed on that video conference call just over a week ago. Every single member of the consortium including and, most tellingly of all, chairman Yasir Al-Rumayyan, were won over. Howe was, in the words of one witness, “superb.” “It was the best interview by far,” a senior source told Telegraph Sport. “He had prepared meticulously, he knew the Newcastle players, what they were good at and where they needed to improve. “He has studied the squad and done his research. He was fully prepared for every question and answered everything thrown at him. He also knew about the club, the fans and what is expected of a Newcastle manager if they are going to succeed here. “Where other candidates talked in general about their principles, methods and philosophies, Eddie Howe was specific and tailored everything to what he would inherit at Newcastle. He had already identified where the strengths and weaknesses were, what the squad would need in January, as well as the type of players the club needed to improve. “But he also talked about his training methods, the tactics that would work best with the players we have now. There was a vision for progress. How he wanted to play and why. It was just a really, really strong and persuasive presentation. We all agreed how good he could be.” For Howe, time is of the essence. The plan is in place and now the 43-year-old is keen to implement it. “This is a wonderful opportunity, but there is also a lot of work ahead of us and I am eager to get onto the training ground to start working with the players,” he said as he was unveiled as Steve Bruce’s successor on Monday. “I would like to thank the club's owners for this opportunity and thank the club's supporters for the incredible welcome they have already given me. I am very excited to begin our journey together.” So why did Newcastle move for Villareal manager Unai Emery before offering it to Howe? It came down to profile, according to another source: “Emery was better known outside of England,” they said. “He is a big name manager in Europe and he was likened a lot to Rafa Benitez. That swung it in his favour initially but it was a split decision.” As a result, although there was embarrassment when Emery turned an offer down last week, after there had been briefing from within the club that he had told them he was coming, there was not too much disappointment. Howe had been the first choice of two of the five people who had voted. Even those who had preferred Emery had been conflicted. It was genuinely a close call. So when the Spaniard turned them down,Newcastle turned immediately to Howe. “He is a great fit for what we are trying to build here,” part-owner Amanda Staveley said when confirming Howe’s appointment. “We are delighted to welcome Eddie and his staff to St James’ Park and very much look forward to working together towards our collective ambitions.” It is worth noting that the reservations about Howe largely stemmed from two concerns. The first was that he had not managed a club of Newcastle’s size before, under the same media scrutiny and public expectation. The second, was the doubt caused by the fact Howe had suffered relegation with Bournenmouth in his final season as manager and his first priority would be to ensure the Magpies stayed up. The Saudi Arabians who run the club and effectively own it too through the country’s Public Investment Fund (PIF) do not want their first notable act to be relegation to the Championship. It would be a humiliation. There is no escaping the fact that Howe will be under more pressure than ever before at Newcastle. It is a demanding club to manage and the list of names who have failed and or been hounded out, is a long and illustrious one. Every decision, from team selection, to tactics, to substitutions, what he says in press conferences, even what he does in his social life around the city will be examined, debated and, in time, criticised. It comes with the territory and is on a completely different level to what he experienced and handled before at both Bournemouth and Burnley. The consortium who run the club, though, feel he can thrive in this environment rather than wilt. They believe the time was right for Howe to move to a bigger club, mainly because he stressed that was the case. He sounded ideal, as well as ready. He served his time in the lower leagues, winning promotions. He has kept a small, unfashionable club in the top flight for several years, now he is ready to show the manager people thought he could be at Bournemouth has arrived at Newcastle. Howe also brought vast knowledge of English football, the players, the personalities and top flight rivals. The one thing the new owners so obviously lack - and which has already been evident in a blundering start - is football knowledge and expertise. Howe will immediately add that. It is a huge boost, particularly ahead of the January transfer window with the Magpies yet to appoint a sporting director or a chief executive. Newcastle will have around £50m to spend in the winter window, and will also utilise the loan market, but they will not be making superstar signings. They need pragmatic ones; good players and good characters too. Howe made it clear he had the expertise in this field to make an immediate impact. He knows what is needed to grow as a football club, not just as a team, because he was so much part of the decision making process as Bournemouth rose from League Two to the Premier League. He already has an idea about who should be their main transfer targets. All this was given to his new employers during his interview. Every manager appointment is a risk, but Newcastle appear to have minimised theirs in choosing Eddie Howe. The time was right for him to return to football after more than 18 months out of the game.

"Ah hope the cunt still does the pressas on a Friday as ah'm just leaving Tracey the cleaner's house about then after wa usual Thursday night 'cuddles' as she puts it! Ah'l just gan straight there from hers. Up there for thinking, doon there for making divorced single mothers happy! Lol, Eddie, Howe's that for planning? Laters!"

The proposed director of football is apparently terrible too

"I wrote the news today. Oh boy..."

I was sat right next to the away fans at the Chelsea match. There was 1 bloke in particular who fascinated me. 30ish, dressed in what to me looked like a flashers mac but I'd imagine was some type of expensive hooligan clobber. He spent the the full 90mins giving sly "wanker" signs down by his side, checking to see if stewards were watching and then signalling to offer people out for a fight after the match and that he'd put them to sleep It was so tragic it was funny, me and my dad were creased You just know he's watched green street 300 times

Hope she didn’t interview herself- it’ll be 2050 before she starts.

There’s been loads

On one of the videos I was watching, Howe was saying he does his press conferences at 8am. Can't see the Knight Ryder being thrilled with this development.

The mackems think Abu Dhabi is something Fred Flinstone says man.

Bender Squad

I honestly half expect a thread along the following lines to pop up on there: ”Now that Emery has turned down the barcodes would anyone have him at SAFC? I personally think he’d be the type of manager we should be looking at with our mega rich owners who have shown nothing but MASSIVE ambition so far as we slog towards maybe making the League One play-offs”

Only the Quiff could be looking to win a pointless argument as a new era dawns at the club.

Obviously Charnley has spent the last two days trying to knock up that artwork in MS Paint, hence the delay.

Dont worry he will be announced in 2 years after being seen with Mandy next week

I've just walked the dog to the top of the hill at Weetslade. There was a bloke up there, fully grown man, in wellies, carrying a staff and running through fighting moves like he was Darth Maul. Pacing backwards and forwards. I shouted for the dog but mainly as a way of announcing that I was there, so this cunt could stop embarrassing himself while someone else could see him. Anyway, he didn't miss a beat, and he's still up there doing it now. Wasn't you, was it?

Looks like a shit version of Beautiful South

I had never seen this clip.

I think he's a bit fucked off about that fact too... There are certainly people responding to today's story on twitter trying to attribute some of his signings to other people at Chelsea.

His hatred of Lee Ryder was the only thing I liked about him

Aye burping last night's kebab. "Ooo garlicky that one gaffer." "Aye I needed a break from the chili, Lee. Jan says she's sick of spooning shite out me kegs."

Im legitimately looking forward to our games now for the first time in what feels like forever. Watching plenty of stuff on Howe and you guarantee this - our players will be a hundred times better drilled on the training pitch by an actually tactically astute manager for the first time since Rafa, the fitness levels will be through the roof compared to what they are right now after hes had a bit of time with them and we actually have a manager who gives a fuck.. you can tell this guys highly driven to succeed and one of the things that I like the most is how much he reiterates how important hard work is in training, on match day wherever and whenever. Hes got alot on his plate coming in at this point but he will believe that he can get us out of the shit at least, hes not going to be the players mate either like fatty was.. it seems like he does anything and everything to improve the standard and the results. Alot of Rafa vibes from Howe, im fully in.

Eddie Howe mask on the wife tonight.

The one on the left was involved in some other shit publicity stunt / interview with the Wraithster a while back. He had a pair of bootcut jeans on ffs. The only thing I find remotely interesting about casual culture is some of the clobber and there he was looking like he was about to get turned away from Grey’s Club

Well let's see who those absolute fucking dopes end up with if they bin the current bloke off. They still think they're in the market for the names that are banded about when the likes of Villa lose a manager.

The only concern with that interview is he seems a deeply principled man who may have an issue working for our Saudi overlords! Other than that, I hadn't heard of him 10mins ago but now I'm convinced he's the only man for the job and anyone else would be an absolute letdown

You heard it here first!

Finally, a statement?

Steve, on Twitter.

Reminds me of when people were just waiting for Shepherd to go all those years ago. I don’t think people wanted him to die like - edit - why did I have it in my head he died straight after leaving rather than AN ENTIRE DECADE later.

I quite like beheadie Eddie tbf.

He’s certainly a good appointment. Everyone would have been happy about him half a year ago. His approach to the game and to take on the job seems to be good as well. He does also have the experience to work in the lower leagues as well, which might be useful looking at our current position and where we could end up this season.

I’m going to have to calm myself down because I’m definitely feeling all Keegany about Eddie Howe. Has to save us first Wants to play attacking football Is going to be backed with Money Is liked within football Appears a very likeable bloke But can lose it when needed. The button mushroom is on the march

Agreed but suspect Yorkshire would have been dropped if Man United had sacked the gnome this afternoon.

Aye. In chuffing Yorkshire

Love how the cunt on SSN quick to point out Howe's win %. Wasn't keen to do the same with Bruce though were they? Wankers. Chuffed tbh with this.

Gemmill is genuinely shit scared though, so your plan won't work with him.

I mean, I think the club will KNOW. Its just the journalists doing the expecting.

fucking hell, all going on in your street!