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Of course Steve Bruce makes a question about racist abuse into how hard done by he is. #gammonlivesmatter

Road rage is for sexually frustrated beta cucks

You followed someone 5miles out of your way to ask if they wanted a fight? And then volunteered that information on here...

Richard Fairbrass out of Right Said Fred in hospital with covid.....

It's a shame Foakes injured himself or I think there'd be a strong posibility he'd be in the team now. He's about the only batsman who's come in to the team in the last five years who actually looks like a test player.

Great. Just need to work out half of essembee's abbreviations when I totally give up on life.

Toelinton.

In normal times no Minister survives this. Raab will try to hang on but if the pressure turns to Johnson then Raab’s general incompetence makes him very dispensable.

Gilchrist for wicketkeepers and Warne for wrist spinners. Everyone trying to find the next one, rather than playing the best players for each area of expertise.

Another one for the watchlist folder.

Alreet, Cerys

So the plan seems to be to flog Longstaff to interested clubs supposedly like Everton and Southampton to bring in Hamza Choudhury on loan, the interested clubs being the type that will be competing higher up the table than us isn’t a red flag at all to Bruce. Fwiw Bruce gets nothing out of Longstaff, but to replace him with a loan signing is more just year to year patch work to the squad, exactly the sort of shite the mackems used to do when they were circling the drain.

Could have had more minutes under his belt if we bought him earlier

BUT thanks.

Aye he’s such a self absorbed prick. If he wants to know why he gets abuse it’s a mix of being fucking shit at his job, and coming out with absolute fucking bollocks in basically every presser which typically involves slating the club or the fan base.

Footballers in being thick shocker. And I don't see why we'd need to name four keepers in the squad. Stick with Woodman, Gillespie + one of the others.

“Can you read me that back? That’s the one, the Ryder Special. Extra chillies on the kebab to keep the hair on me baalz! Over and out, laters Abdul”

Which stage of grief is this?

Looks like there's a tracksuit top in this style too... would the over 50s get away with wearing one? Asking for a friend

Sorry to be a bit distracted but does the T in all these high T/low T posts stand for 'Tiresome'?

Where's that from Gloom? I mean this is so transparent it feels like a piss take. It all does. But in reality, as Alistair Campbell says.....

lying on a beach not making phone calls you say? nothing a staged photo when he gets back won't fix

If you Google his name, there's a video of him getting splattered with one punch. Obviously that lad hadn't heard of him either.

Quiff spotted in Hull

drive about with a husqvarna 136 and a machete on the rear parcel shelf. it's amazing how respective people are of your driving skills.

Nooooo wayyyyy no shittin bro?

Why would someone of the nature of Steve Bruce keep two home grown brothers that he personally can't make any money out of unless he moves them on? This isn't about the needs of the squad if you ask me, this is about £££££££

The perils of having mackem rivals.

Alpaca bag and come and tell you

crawley was guilty of nicking behind loads, wasn't hales too? roy i remember less well though his test career was over in the blink of eye. of all of them i would say he potentially deserves another crack at some point, but stick him down at six ffs. agree about foakes - very harshly treated by selectors given his ability with the gloves and that his batting mindset seems suited to test cricket. there has been an obsession in recent years with always playing counter attacking wicketkeeper/batsmen instead of picking the best glovesman.

And Hendrick.

Sad but you’d have to say a move away for him and his brother are the best options. It must be fucking galling to see the manager preferring an absolute pisstaker like Shelvey.

his case is helped by the 100 he got in australia last time and his one day form but he seems about as suited to test cricket as most of them we've tried in recent years - hales, vince, roy, crawley, take your pick. all capable of scoring quickly and playing nice-looking shots, all unable to resist a waft outside stump

I read an article yesterday from earlier in the summer saying they thought Malan would get in and that Ed Smith's thinking all along was that he might be better suited on the hard Australian pitches than he is to English pitches. The way he gets out here is in areas that thay they won't bowl over there. The other side is of course that he's been playing well and dealing with the pressure of international cricket in white ball matches. Of course it's difficult to see how he could do worse than Crawley has since Pakistan last year.

"Here son get this on"

Someone should ask the sentient sperm himself on Twitter. I predict shenanigans

Lad sat behind us on Sunday told us that one of our v. famous Geordie ex players has been going around saying that whilst our meagre backroom staff were all on furlough Alex Bruce has been taking a wage from the club as "chief scout".... don't shoot the messenger etc etc

I was just thinking of Collingwood the other day. How you’d rather watch Moeen bat any time but you’d take the former every time in a pressure situation

i'd even give roy another shot, but put him lower down the order this time and just tell him to play his natural game. for every duck, he might get a quick-fire 50, which is more than most of our top order batsmen have managed lately. the extent to which we rely on our bowlers and root's batting makes you realise how good the team of trott, pietersen, bell and coillingwood was.

Fast forward two weeks: 'Well the loan market has been very competitive this season and we just couldn't get anyone over the line but I'm delighted to have secured wor Alex on a five year contract. He's a player I know well having signed him for nearly every club I've been at and with his two caps for Northern Ireland he brings with him a wealth of international experience'.

I.e. “I’ll be ringing around the clubs next week to see who they don’t fancy”

i don't disagree, but it says which says everything about the state of test match cricket that two white ball specialists are next in line

Tbh I would say both Malan and Vince are better options than a lot of those who’ve been picked recently

Only read about it, never seen the footage, so thanks for that. Mental game, if you want to call it that. Odds on Warnock being Fat Mike's next port of call after Bruce bungles this season and gets the piss ripped out of him by 52k angry fans? He'd be a perfect fit.