Leaderboard

"Here son get this on"

Not Yorkshire but close enough in my eyes, mate asked for a bag of chips and a can of pop at Oldham, lass looked at him and give it the 'Ya wot, luv?' he said it again and she gave him a bag of chips and a tin of beans so you can add thick as fuck to tight as fuck.

Stand down Dave, all is forgiven...

They really don't like it but I consider Yorkshire and Lancashire to be occupied by the same sub-species.

I might hop on…

When I was in Leeds, they had a poster in the window of some shit bar advertising two pints of something for £6 and no word of a lie, printed on the poster was “SSP: £3.40” They could peel an orange in their back pocket with a boxing glove on.

#lookatmetoo

Another one for the watchlist folder.

You followed someone 5miles out of your way to ask if they wanted a fight? And then volunteered that information on here...

It was on C4 plus 1. It wouldn’t put me off tbh but it’s easy saying that sat here innit

Watching a paralympics versions of come dine with me, there is quite fit lass with one leg. Would that put any of you animals off?

When I went camping near Helmsley the other week it was about 30c and the farmer that owned the site was driving around telling off kids for filling their water pistols up

I.e. “I’ll be ringing around the clubs next week to see who they don’t fancy”

Still lives with Peasepud, I believe.

All the high t lads knew about this week's ago.

Joke's on you, I already was 👍

Fussy bastard

Asymmetrical. 2 legs or none for me.

Alreet, Cerys

What channel is it on and I'll tell you

Only read about it, never seen the footage, so thanks for that. Mental game, if you want to call it that. Odds on Warnock being Fat Mike's next port of call after Bruce bungles this season and gets the piss ripped out of him by 52k angry fans? He'd be a perfect fit.

Why would someone of the nature of Steve Bruce keep two home grown brothers that he personally can't make any money out of unless he moves them on? This isn't about the needs of the squad if you ask me, this is about £££££££

The perils of having mackem rivals.

And Hendrick.

Sad but you’d have to say a move away for him and his brother are the best options. It must be fucking galling to see the manager preferring an absolute pisstaker like Shelvey.

So the plan seems to be to flog Longstaff to interested clubs supposedly like Everton and Southampton to bring in Hamza Choudhury on loan, the interested clubs being the type that will be competing higher up the table than us isn’t a red flag at all to Bruce. Fwiw Bruce gets nothing out of Longstaff, but to replace him with a loan signing is more just year to year patch work to the squad, exactly the sort of shite the mackems used to do when they were circling the drain.

From my experience Lancs think everything and everywhere is shit, Yorks think everything and everywhere else is shit.

People are more arsed about this llama

Lad sat behind us on Sunday told us that one of our v. famous Geordie ex players has been going around saying that whilst our meagre backroom staff were all on furlough Alex Bruce has been taking a wage from the club as "chief scout".... don't shoot the messenger etc etc

Fast forward two weeks: 'Well the loan market has been very competitive this season and we just couldn't get anyone over the line but I'm delighted to have secured wor Alex on a five year contract. He's a player I know well having signed him for nearly every club I've been at and with his two caps for Northern Ireland he brings with him a wealth of international experience'.

i don't disagree, but it says which says everything about the state of test match cricket that two white ball specialists are next in line

West Brom beat Sheff Utd last night but it’s 19 years since this classic. Colin’s managerial career summed up in one match:

Players that could potentially still come good with the right management, no good. Lazy whoppers past their best who actively bring the entire team down, oh yeah

Not like those who have been in the side have been playing much red ball cricket either

Given how perpetual everyone is on here, I could see it.

Does toontastic still exist then?

Edgy incel patter

What a shock- thought he was very funny, him and Bob Mortimer are two of my favourites.

We went for lunch in this old pub in Appleton- Le-Moors earlier today. This yorkshire bloke in his late 50s turns up, all walking geared up, about 10 minutes after they've finished serving food, and asks if he can still get something to eat. The barman kindly says he'll ask the chef and the chef agrees they'll sort him out with some food after he fucking moans on about how he's been walking 20 miles etc. This cunt sits at a table and five minutes later, without even turning his head to look at the bar, shouts seemingly to the whole bar, "Ready to order now!" As it turns out there's no one at the bar, so the head shaking starts from this miserable twat. At this point, the barman walks back in and cunto pipes up, "I SAID I'm ready to order now!". Then when the barman goes over, before he's even had the chance to ask what the bloke wants, he tells him "I didn't expect to be sitting this long waiting to order!" I couldn't fucking believe what I was hearing.

The bit on 8 out of 10 Cats when he’s on about blowing everyone away with his seal clubbing prowess “It was like a trolley dash”

No its not ideal preparation but at least he's been making hundreds in the one day cup. Of course the quality of opostion he will have been facing is far weaker but he's doing pretty much all he can.

Of course, like everyone else out of the side, Lees hasn’t played any red ball cricket since the beginning of June

Durham have been superb in the competition this year helped by losing non of their batsmen to the hundred and Rushworth getting more of a run out than he has in recent years with Carse, Potts & Raine all at the Northern team. Hopefully they have Beddingham tied down to a long term contract because he's been unreal in all formats. South Africa must surely be looking at him. Some talk of a possibility for Lee's to come into one of England's troublesome top order positions too. He's averaged well over 40 since moving to Durham.

Was funny as fuck, sad news.

It's funny how you get used to it like. Still getting nearly 100 deaths a day, and its like, meh, nowadays. I mean that's a real person dying every 15 minutes and yet people think its over. I hope you never get in that position.

Now I work from home a fair bit (I'm on a 2/3 split with the office), I get to listen to the radio a bit more. Thought Starmer was really impressive at Parliament just now, utterly destroyed Johnson. Still, we live through the media prism and people don't want "boring" competence any more, they want flamboyant popularism.

That's a pretty accurate summary. As I mentioned earlier thankfully the vast majority of the elderly have been vaccinated so that should limit the deaths, otherwise it would be undoing all of the work that has been put in to this point. So close, if only there had been a hard and fast lockdown in Sydney when the non-vaccinated allegedly non-mask wearing limo driver who had been transporting international flight crews tested positive. That was 16th of June. That person had spread it in a large shopping centre and from there it spread to a large party further west. Initially there was a stay at home order for four local government areas issued on the 25th of June. More than a week after the initial case. That turned into the start of the actual lockdown the following day and here we are in the back half of August with record cases and no end to the lockdown in site.

You'd played it so well up until this point but it looks like you've been lulled into a false sense of security which has meant little urgency in your vaccination programme. No one can keep covid out forever, particularly with this delta variant.