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"As the clamour grows on Tyneside to get the signing of Joe Willock from London over the line a certain Geremi also from a London club was making that same journey seventeen years ago from Chelsea and swapping the special one for the one you've got to come back for like the McEwan's best scotch advert where the Geordie lad with the Chris Waddle perm comes over the Tyne on a train home looking at the Tyne bridge." Lee 'knight' Ryder TMGRSWY.

(he's not the real flight attendant btw)

Who does actually care about it? I only just realised about it being just one week until the season starts but it’s not even worrying me. It’s going to be another shitshow regardless of us signing new players or not.

I had some liquorice late last night. I dreamt about "allsorts"

Not according to a certain ex-Villa manger

On the contrary, it made me more powerful than you could ever imagine.[/Marvel-standard dialogue]

I like to affectionately refer to it as the “Power Mince”

By “aviation partners” he means the lads he gets high with behind the local Aldi. #highasascabbytramp

Is his aviation partners the airfix Lancaster bombers, hurricanes, spitfires and stukas he plays with when he visits his mam's and tells her he's just looking for something in his old bedroom. ".....And here comes the Lancaster swooping down over the bed mountain and about to land on the rug runway looking majestic with it's new 'Rich energy' logo painted on in painstaking detail by the entrepreneurial genius William Story......Nnnnnneewoww...... listen to those Rolls Royce engines and surely a matter of time before they partner with the energy drink tycoon and....." "Did you say something dear?" "Err, no mum, still looking for an old book."

Put “2014” at the end.

At least we’re top of the dry powder table

Agreed but honestly, with all the sports in the world I might realistically rank it last. Roller blading is cooler than it tbh and that ain’t cool

Giving the loyal Toon Army the real story behind THAT free kick away to Spurs about 16 years ago

I remember being in Sam Jacks before a match once and that radgie dj was auctioning a match worn Shearer shirt off for charity. Two lads lock horns and the bids go to hundreds. One lad eventually folds, only for radgie to say something along the lines of "fear not, we've got two... you both win!". Other lad looked sick as fuck. Even though it's for charity that's shite patter I thought 😄

Isn’t that slavery?

The Knight is definitely a man of letters… …” Letters have a large doner, extra meat, nee rabbit food, and divvent be shy with the chips either Stavros, lolz!”

You know these people with stuff like BA (Hons) MBE, OBE, and stuff like that at the end of their names? The Knight is no different.

A new place you can’t buy Rich Energy canned piss has opened near my gaff. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/new-heron-foods-store-open-21164321.amp #business #toffee #ducks

Someone tell me I'm tired

They were the dance act Sub Sub before they were Doves. They did the catchy dance-pop tune ‘Ain’t No Doubt’ that was in the charts about 93-ish. Past was a good tune:

Have you heard Black Rivers, MF? Side project of Doves that’s just the brothers; similar sort of sound, if not quite as good. Bit more low-key than Doves’ later albums as I remember too.

You'd think we'd be past this shit by now, mind.

You seem to know a lot about it Scotty boy. Did the pacemaker put paid to your Power Mincing™ days?

Geremi

Rondonwatch and an interview with former toon supremo Geremi today. Enjoy!

Cannot imagine the kind of kid who gets into competitive fast walking like. Football? Nah. Rugby? Nah. Running? Fuck right off! Fast walking is the sport for me.

Da fuck did I do?

Nurse!

I like how he doesn’t mention who they are Because that’s not his aeroplane.

Thank fuck, I was getting worried. That stand that was put up at the Strawberry must be for a Messi unveiling after all

@Rayvin

#hashtags

Harry Kane getting very nervous right now.

Let’s hear it for Ryanair!

Aviation partners 🤣

Wait till you see Steve Bruce to sack Graeme Jones to appoint Alex to make him his successor

Something else he’s shite at

"I picked him out because of his dozil, err, dosilly, err his daft accent. Laters, lol."

I’ve genuinely no way of rating what a player is worth anymore, Arsenal paid £50M for Ben White who is not a stand out CB in any way to me. I suppose it’s what Villa would accept and money is no object to Man City. It’ll be interesting to see how Grealish gets on as for me he’s not hit his ceiling yet, he seems to just keep stepping up to the next level when given the chance and with Guardiola coaching him I could see him becoming an elite level performer. I saw an image of two full 11’s Man City could field if they sign Grealish and Kane and honestly both sides could finish in the top 4. Meanwhile we can’t put out two starting 11’s of professional players (meaning without dipping into our youth sides).

Archer out of the Ashes. Never been right since he was over bowled by Root in NZ

We could do with an upgrade in every position in the playing, managerial & coaching and administration staff but we absolutely need reinforcements in midfield and up front.

I still can't work out why we want another centreback. We have Lascelles, Schar, Fernandez, Clark and Dummett or Hayden who could easily fill in before we had to resort to Krafth or Watts. How many do we need? Whereas when Wilson inevitably picks up an injury we're now down to Joelinton and Gayle who keep proving they're not up to this level. The need for midfielder is obvious but so is the need for extra up front yet our glorious leaders still can't grasp this. Absolutely staggering.

So Fat Mike is to step down as Chief Exec of Sports Direct but luckily the most qualified person to replace him just happens to be his daughter's fiance. How this man became a billionaire is a mystery.

Oh aye you get some arseholes who use it instead of being an actual decent human being.

Thing is like you get someone who’s (for example) been in the marines for 15 years and there’s a good chance they’re canny crack with some good tales. But you get people who used to be in the TA putting ‘proud veteran’ on their social media profiles. Respect where it’s due and all that but it’s just something else that’s been weaponised now

I think he always mixes on vinyl. The amount of stuff he’s put out on mixcloud over the past year or so is ridiculous. I always liked him anyway like, going back to the good old days of the chill out room / tent