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I know of a job that would be right up your alley.

Not to worry though, allegedly we're after Aaron Ramsey and I can't see his £400k pw salary being an issue.

Hope they bring John Anderson out to referee it. “Botswana! You will go on my second whistle”

On your way back there’s a little known, but beautiful, area called the Gorbals in Clydesdale - definitely worth a stop,

Let's not forget our second top goalscorer, Willock, also gone from the squad.

I’m looking at doing my HGV III license asap. ( I will save the Nation singlehandedly ).

Shelves in Sainsburys looking a bit more sparse today. People mustn't be believing in Britain enough?

LGF

Finally, someone with a bit of optimism

If Willock wants to sign for us then I dont want him because that would mean that hes retarded

Who is apparently having second thoughts about joining permanently even if we do get a bid accepted. Who’d have thought showing this little fucking ambition would be unattractive to players. I still think there’s a chance ASM leaves late, and with them two gone we are completely fucked.

FYP

I have weapons grade indifference about the new season. But no change there, as long as Ashley is our owner the only thing to get excited about is him going.

Speaking of social media, this came up on time hop today 😂

Nothing abusive. Just drip fed him snarky comments about being up Bruce's arse for a few months

Luke Edward's has blocked me He's the CT of the journalism world. He's got a contrary opinion on absolutely everything

Edwards is such a tit, that certainly reads like praise for Bruce as the focus was definitely on his “different strengths and attributes” which just happen to be things that aren’t tactical awareness and being up to date. The highest praise of all for Bruce comes when Wilson says it’ll be nice to have a good coach around from the start of the season to help the previous lot, I know if I was in the previous lot I’d be buzzing with all that praise. There’s also fucking no chance Bruce wanted Jones brought in, he was clearly fuming with him on the touchline regularly and like Alex says he even distanced himself from being involved. Edwards yet again showing how little he knows about the sport he covers, he has different strengths and attributes but maybe it’s better left to sports journalists like Caulkin that have strengths like research, writing articles that aren’t just clickbait, and giving a shit about the fan base of the area they cover.

I'm assuming you work as a metro inspector, MISTER CHECKIE!

Luke just needs a week of wine and chicken to recharge his batteries - it’s draining being a little bitch 24/7. He’s looking forward to his villa in Marmaris…

Wasn’t Edwards distancing Bruce from the appointment of Jones at the time? Bruce was too iirc and their relationship looks anything but amicable. Also didn’t Edwards claim after we beat Everton (I think) in the first game after Jones got the job that Jones hadn’t even took a training session? Then several people on twitter pointed out that not only had he done so but there was a photo proving the point accompanying an article Edwards had penned. He’s a complete laughingstock

Right on cue

Will Luke's holiday happen to coincide with a run of five defeats on the bounce? Stay tuned to find out.

Yet the Chronicle still run stories about players 'we've been linked to' applying zero thought to the story. e.g. there's a £50m defender who Man City, among others, are after and a 28yr old. Ashley's Newcastle are not spending £50m on a player and they're not buying a 28yr old.

Sounds like Wilson might be angling for a move. Not that I’d blame him but we’d be absolutely cattled if he left

Can clear a room with one correctly brewed fart

Maybe this is him trying to make the Ashes. Players can’t play 12 months a year, however much loot is on offer these days ...

Never knew we were amongst such elite level athletes here, well done lads on choosing to use your considerable powers for other more socially advancing endeavours.

You mean you just looked it up. 0.2 seconds equates to just under 2 metres. So you were within 2 metres of the English schools record. Basically meaning you’d be the fastest 100m runner your age in the country in almost any given year. I was North Tyneside 100m schools champion at the same age and nowhere near running 11 flat. Neither was the winner of the North East Counties Schools that year where I came 5th. The same year I competed in the North East Athletics Championship. In the Men’s final Jonathan Edwards was edged out of first place in the final of the 100m. I think the winning time was 10.8-ish. So, your time as a year 10 school kid would’ve been about the same as a fully grown man who broke the world triple jump record about 3 years later. Weird

And that was before the return of CT

I've honestly never looked forward to a season less.

I see you’re top of the leaderboard already

Anyone?