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That Patterdale lodge's WiFi is gonna be seeing some heinous traffic this week. Splatterdale more like.

Arrived for my annual week in the lakes in the lodge I have booked for this week every year, Patterdale. It's fucking scorching hot. The drive from Pooley Bridge through Glen Ridding was the busiest I've ever seen. Not exactly tranquil like, hope it quietens during the week. I mean, we've all got the right to be here, but at the same time, I can't help thinking....

I’d barely call you an internet acquaintance tbh.

Sly, Dolph, and Danny Devito.

There's the off-season of supporting NUFC in a nutshell. We could be talking about all the great potential signings and the huge expectation we have for the season but instead we are surmising about some overpaid presenter from the BBC custard addiction - how fucking 2021.

Eldritch horror.…

Early onset pensioner.

Yeah, I was referring to MF tbh .

FYP.

(Searches for Jayna Oso at end of post.....)

If this is a gang bang then you're Jayna Oso on heat in the middle of it. What a weird thing to get upset over. Personally I'm with Gloom, lose the national broadcaster and there's every reason to think we'll lose the quality of tv that goes with it. Go down the US route, fucking shit. We're also on the verge of losing our other national broadcaster, channel 4, the only news outlet that makes the Tories uncomfortable. Never mind though.

Or a Tuesday evening in CT Towers.

Dear me, what a state to get into... there's a pandemic, western Europe is under water, the US narrowly avoided a coup earlier this year, Brexit is screwing this country but no....in Dougle's world its Zoë Ball who's the antichrist

CUSTARD

When the seagulls follow the Rentons it is because they just want to get entertained.

“Your Direct Debit has been declined” ”lads how do we spin this!??”

😂

Doesn't need to.

Dicks. One of my mates is a Doctor in Belfast actually! 👊🏼

He's not looking too happy about it tbf.

And Kojak

There’s a fatal flaw in your plan

It’s got me intrigued too Is it hot or cold? How fucking runny is this custard she’s necking? Does she neck pints, like an angry docker, or have gentle sips from a wine glass? At what point does runny custard stop being custard and just become thick milk? Which poor bastard has to unclog her toilet?

There’s a mental image I could’ve done without. The addition of the word custard in the strapline turns this from your bog-standard celebrity bog roll fodder in to something David Lynch would base a film on.

Drinking custard? To rehydrate?

The Lineker fee is worth it just for all the gammon it triggers tbh

As for the old dance to do housework to crack

Can’t even enjoy himself on holiday

Her first vid on XVideos is her getting pummelled by a cock the size of the Pink Panther’s tail. Fucking hell, Renton.

Renton at a congested tourist hotspot. Responsible

We don't do that anymore cos you cried when you got a bit back last time

The one with Gary Oldman as Sid? Ive seen it, ages ago, but have no memory of it good or bad. Hope that helps

Just been and got some Almasty and Full Circle cans for this evening’s BBQ chez Fist. oops

anything jim morrison approves of, I do to.

Aye, it’s probably just as well I no longer live just over the road tbh.

Magnificent 7 remake incoming here.

@Monkeys Fist I eventually paid a visit to the shop next to Amici’s. Class selection of beers.

Careful on your pc- it’s loaded with viruses.

‘Average sized but looks massive in proportion’

Nah, the other one. Brendan, he presented top gear before Clarkson don’t you know? Until he got a drink driving ban.

Renton letting his porn preferences slip out here …

you've got to give them credit for at least making an attempt. pretty sure master's didn't give a flying fuck, if indeed he was even aware they were there. meanwhile, the most incompetent and complete and utter waste of fucking space supporters trust ever to fleece membership money from folk release the following statement.... Aftter consulting with the organisers to ensure the appropriate safety measures are in place, we want to extend our best wishes to those travelling to London to make their voices heard in the continued call for transparency from the Premier League. beyond pathetic.

Both of Steve Coogan’s brothers are radio presenters… aha!

Finally fell down the city pop hole I’ve been threatening for a while. Absolutely unreal gear in this playlist

VANESSA FELTZ???

I mean, I know. Oddly enough I consider them to be as misinformed in this as I do in other areas. And also oddly enough, that comes down to their lack of evidence. They tend to get worked up about the BBC overrepresenting minorities (15% of employed individuals are BAME and yet only 14.9% of the country is BAME, which is of course a scandal) whereas I tend to get worked up about different things, such as the accuracy or their reporting and general lack of balance. The main reason I say any of this though is that you'd be hard pushed to find many people on here who thought the BBC was a stellar institution. Except Gloom.

He just runs rings around them