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I'm older and bitter but hope England win it especially for the bairns, for the players who've put up with shit from the mail/telegraph etc, for Rashford for showing up Johnson but especially as it'll piss Renton, err, I mean Fox, Farage and the gammons off.

Most of them. Walker is one of the best RB in the world. And in the bench you have Trippier, Starter RB in Atletico (Spanish Champion). Stones is playing in the Champions League Runner Up and Maguire (I dont like so much) is a very decent player. You have Shaw and Chilwell (Champions League champions), you have Sterling and Kane... You have Mount (another Champions League champions), you have Foden in the bench (starter with Guardiola), you have Sancho in the bench, you have Grealish in the bench. Henderson, the captain of Liverpool who dominates Premier during 2 years and 2 Champions league finalist in last 3 years is in the bench... You have a tremendous team. Is the mix between players very consolidated in the top like Walker, Sterling, Henderson or Kane with the new generation of young players (England was U20 and U17 World Champions in 2017, third in U21 European Championship in 2017 and Runner Up in U17 European Championship in 2017). With players like Sancho, Foden or DCL. You add players that are news in England Squad like Grealish and Rice, a decent players like KP and very solid players in the bench... And you have a very good team to play the tournament.

Right then @Andrew, here's the test of your mettle

I haven't even been to sleep

I’m picturing Gemmill as the lead in a sitcom where his buttons are constantly being pushed by his gammon-tastic family. That could be its name; The Gammon Family

You must look at Steve Bruce's family with envy.

It's difficult to comprehend just how big a fuckin idiot Laurence Fox is

Southgate Housemate Goosegate

My daughter's been sent home from school after being in close contact who has caught it and now is apparently quite ill. I'm worried, not just for the 10 days isolation, but because my wife is vulnerable. She had a really bad reaction to AZ but has found it impossible to get an mRNA vaccine so is only single jabbed. Hopefully she will be okay. It's estimated that 3 million people will need to self isolate every week before restrictions end, but then what? It's going to be everywhere. And kids definitely do get sick, some get long covid. What an appalling mess we've got ourselves into and yet people think Johnson has done a good job? Joke of a country.

Harsh

England make it to their first international final in 55 years, its great! Final is on Sunday at 8pm against Italy. And I'll just remove the other stuff, fuck it.

All the more reason to go if they don't. Stopped to the waist, St George Cross on your chest. "Are you on your lunch hour mate? I'm timing you. You've got work to do."

Learn a musical instrument instead. I'm basing this solely off your twitter profile, but I'd recommend the castanets.

Someone is

An absolute balloon knot, who I've recently discovered my sister follows on twitter and LOVES.

Aye it was soft, it’s sort of being swept under the rug how much of a bunch of shit houses the Danish were. Delaney had 6 fouls without a card, and they got away with a fucking ton of clear fouls. The ref must have thought Kjaer, Christensen, and Vestergaard can legitimately keep pace with Sterling and Saka when in actual fact the pair of them were checked or grabbed nearly everytime they touched the ball. I also don’t really see what was so absurdly egregious about the Sterling pen, it was soft but a lot of outlets are looking at the second contact rather than the initial one, it might have been soft but I can see why it was given as yet again the Danish players basically looked to block the player and not the ball as they had done all fucking game. Pens like that are given constantly in the league, I get the argument of feeling aggrieved if it happened against your side but I think the reverse applies that if that wasn’t given our side would have felt aggrieved. They also have a brass neck whinging about diving when their lot were going down like absolute fannies under any contact, the most egregious was Vestergaard acting like Tyson Fury smacked him after Sterlings hand grazed his cheek. The result was fair tbh, people can whinge about the penalty but it wasn’t some absurdly blatant dive under zero contact and the Danish absolutely didn’t deserve anything from the game.

how is everyone's productivity today btw? i am absolutely hanging out my arse

None of this would have been possible as well if it wasn't for Sam Allardyce being such a fucking reprehensible, corrupt bellend of a man. Thanks Big Sam, we owe you one.

England have been up there as favourites since the start of the tournament tbf. I think the shock of it all is that we’re in a final and haven’t actually fucked it up for once.

That’s what your ma said when she whipped my kegs off

Well you definitely did the right thing listening to a phone in on radio 5 this morning if that is what you were after

Is this a secret forum?!

Fucking unreal, never thought I’d see a final tbh. I was too young for any of Newcastle’s and England were always useless at tournaments. Fucking buzzing. I’m going to be a wreck on Sunday mind. Hopefully the takeover goes through and this is the first of many I get to watch.

Remember lads, you heard it here constantly.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/jul/08/boris-johnson-poised-to-declare-extra-bank-holiday-if-england-win-euro-2020 This might kill Renton.

Saint Gareth- “ Yeah, you like that, you long-necked bitch, right in the cloaca, hmm?” Goose- “ Honk”.

Both my kids have been isolating this week, the eldest missed out on birthday celebrations because of it. Her school have closed down her entire year group due to positive pupil cases and staff absences. Same with the youngest. It’s fucking rife, but let’s crack and get Covid done, eh Johnson? How the fuck did this bellend get anywhere near a position of power in the first place?

It was a soft free kick and, apparently, it shouldn’t have stood because of an infringement from the Danish wall. https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/football/15526454/denmark-free-kick-wall-goal-england-euro-2020/ I’ve absolutely no idea whether this is the case but, notwithstanding that, it was no less dodgy than the VAR checked penalty that England won.

Think it was Plato who said “long and thin goes too far in, short and thick does the trick”

Aye, usually by now one of the tabloid shitrags has “exposed” some mildly dodgy behaviour by a player, or made up some nonsense. This lot seem to be keeping their noses clean, but there’s still time for the Daily Hate to claim Southgate bummed his neighbours pet geese or whatever.

Denmark can fuck right off tbh, FWIW I thought Sterling’s was a penalty. He got wiped out by two defenders, yes he went down but we’ve learned it you don’t you don’t get the decision. Everyone has conveniently forgotten the Danes constantly unpunished gamesmanship, breaking up the play with “tactical” fouls yet there was barely a card broke out . One of their lads must have fouled about 6 times and didn’t see a card. Anyway I’m enjoying it and the hatred of other nations and FBPE types just makes it better. Between the hour mark and 120 minutes Denmark had one shot ffs

UEFA opens disciplinary procedures against England for use of a laser pointer, disturbance caused during the national anthem, and lighting of fireworks. Hungary's craic is still absolutely fine though.

I was thinking about this yesterday, and without sounding like a sad old cunt, I reckon believing England can win is for the young. That was me at Italia 90 and Euro 96. Now I just hope for the best and assume they'll get beat in the big games. Especially this weekend against Italy. Still really looking forward to the final though.

first final for 55 years and the celebrations are over the top. Was Droopy your favourite cartoon character as a kid?

I want them to win but it won't devastate me if they don't, semi final of the European championship and I was completely relaxed about it in a way I just wouldn't be if NUFC were in a semi final or pre-derby game. I think my chill must be rubbing off on the players so I'll take any credit going if we win.

It's not just Renton tbf - almost all the highest voted comments on the Daily Mail's match report are from people wishing that Denmark had won because they didn't take the knee and England did. Gammon rage now transcends even football success. I can see Renton's point a bit tbh, and I know a few people who are saying similar things but at the end of the day I think the majority have this one right. Life is short and shit enough without reining yourself in during moments of pure joy. This won't unify the country - don't think anything can - but it does at least represent a temporary ceasefire that everyone can get behind with some positivity, and that its lasting another 4 days is better than if it didn't.

Someone else can take a shift. This is unreal. Actively going out of your way to just enjoy something or enjoy other people enjoying something.

I dunno. A moment that a bunch of people have waited a lifetime to see kind of feels like a time for the exact opposite of perspective to me. It's like trying to halt a goal celebration for being "a bit much guys, OK?"

Don't be daft. But let's stop deleting people's posts, lads.

Thank fuck for that. The pen was soft but the Danes were absolute shit houses most of the match and the ref repeatedly let them get away with it, I think Delaney alone racked up about 6 fouls without a booking. Schmeichel was brilliant, Pickford again showing why he shouldn’t start for England. Southgate is a funny fucker. Phillips and Rice must have some dodgy photos of him as I’ve no idea how both of them start over Henderson, Phillips got nutmegged about 5 times jumping into shit tackles and I’m not sure where he’s looking when he tries to pass. His subs are baffling too, Mount was hopeless and Saka got an assist so he subs Saka off and leaves Mount flagging for another 15 minutes. We won but he needs to stop making these weird fucking choices or we will really be in danger, Jorginho and Verrati against Rice and Phillips isn’t the way to set up.

I hope we dive and cheat our way to victory then order the worst pizza in London to be delivered to Italy’s dressing room afterwards. There.

I think he's overdosed on the stiffy pills and is just lying on the living room floor throbbing. Stretching his hand out for his phone which is tantalisingly out of reach.

@Christmas Tree Howay, CT, forget the politics and football thread, this is the one for you, Quiff will reply to your every post, Gloomy and Gemmill are in and Rayvin won't post every time but it'll be a long one when he does. Diet-T-level-tastic!

SHAFT!