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They’re literally a fucking third division side . More than welcome to tag along for anything Jordan Henderson does, but the mental thing is he’s legitimately one of the most successful and widely known mackems of all time, so do they really want to pick this as the hill to die on? Third fucking division , oh aye and I see mega rich trust fund boy has carried on with furlough which definitely indicates he’s going to piss a ton of money against the wall to bring them back to their glory days of being the shit that won’t flush in the PL. Honestly the Main Street in Bishop Auckland gives their Main Street a run for its money, that’s how fucking wank Sunderland is. My sister never understood the disdain I had for mackems and then she worked on a make up counter at a store in the bridges and she fucking hates the cunts now . Said she’d never seen so many people just fucking hockle in the street, and had never had to cover up as much acne scarring in her life until she worked on those fucking mouth breathing inbreds. They’re fucking minging. Shit little town, with absolutely fucking nowt going on. I’ve lived in America for years and everyone knows Newcastle whether it’s due to the beer, the football team, even the film goal, etc none of them know the mackems. If it wasn’t clear for any mackems out there I absolutely do think I’m better than you, you mouth breathing helmets. But aye Jordan Henderson is better than Alan Shearer or something .

Mate, take the hint. She REALLY doesn't want to go out with you. "Ah not tonight sorry, I've got cancer again."

Knight Ryder- “ So, if I want to become 2014 Trinity Mirror Group Regional Sports Writer of the Year, I just sign here in blood, aye?” Lucifer- “ Aye” Knight Ryder- “ What’s the catch?” Lucifer- “ You’ll gradually turn in to a sentient red-skin potato…”

It’s the pitiful pursuit of relevance that’s so funny Anyway it turns out they made the Nissan that took Harry Kane’s mum to hospital, so Harry's really a MLF and he dedicates every goal to Sunderland. He’s practically a mackem. Amazing coup for them.

A minutes silence for GB News's ever decreasing viewing figures

Are you not entertained?

I've had a difficult weekend of it. For no apparent reason at all I've been haunted by my sister's passing. Just randomly.broke down yesterday, then decided to get pissed, and feel rough as fuck today,.which makes every thing so much worse. I've not met anybody at my job yet, probably won't for a long time. I miss the crack from my old job, miss just talking to people other than my wife. It feels like too much hassle nowadays to even meet up with mates. I feel like I'm losing touch as a result. Hope I feel better tomorrow, so many people have it worse than me.

I can't get over the fact that if you're ever going to wear your club's shirt then a cup final day would be that day but Lee got up and thought 'I'll wear me England top.'

Aye it was definitely him, like.

Hark at lah di dah Howay thinking he's so much better than the poor mackems just because he can use his nostrils to breathe.

"Over a decade on the United beat as me old mentor, Olly called it, trinity mirror group regional sports journalist of the year, spots on talksport, verbal jewelling with the man who would be king, Pards but nar, can't be dicing with journalistic death with the punters champion, can't risk trying to better the man they all ring for gold plated NUFC stories and ex-player anekdowt, anniken, err, old tales, nar, takes the easy option with a glorified YouTube promoter and actor fucking Wraith!!! At least when ah talk to ex-players it's purely for me puntas who queue up on a teatime for their NUFC fix in the flagship paper of Thomson House rather than massaging a goatee bearded ego. Fuck them, ah've Got Steve Watson on the blower tonight talking about THAT somersault throw in at ayresome park which is EXACTLY what my loyal readers want to read whilst a split arse ah've never heard of can only interview the Ring-piece Wraith! Lol. Laters."

Oh Fuck. Thanks for cheering me up. In all seriousness, you MF and PL seem to be mates. You're like money pyrhon, the guys from Royston vasey, or Nev, Dennis and Oz (you're the latter ). If you guys get together sometime, let me know, so I can make a beeline to the other part of town. 👍

A news channel using actors* in interviews? Tsk, tsk, * (also author, professional hardman, gangster dildo)

They're going full on herd immunity. Honestly, we've ran out of road, we've no choice now. Let's not forget why and how we arrived here though.

Are we gonna have to resurrect the toontastic piss-ups and get Sweaty Renton out for the night?

Please talk to some of your mates about this and try and meet up with some of them. It will do you the world of good. I know it’s fucking easier said than done though, mate

What’s actually been enforced since this whole thing started? Benton Asda is like the nation in microcosm (bear with me). There’s no enforcement of mask wearing (which I wouldn’t expect people on the shop floor to do, plus anyone can claim they’re exempt). Then at least half the staff don’t wear a mask then most of the rest don’t wear one properly. There’s a kid sits at the door giving out free masks to customers who’ve forgotten one. He doesn’t wear a mask

I'd like to think people with kids would wake up to the fact they're being chucked under the bus but I suppose the tory base have proven time and time again they don't give a fuck about young people or anything that affects them.

Giving the right wing press what they want is a close second.

The years have not been kind to our Lee….

Has he got a VIZ number plate?

hope he falls in a compactor.

If you’re counting me as Nev or Dennis you can fuck your pint.

knight ryder fuming he didn't get the call for a guest spot on GB news

Since when did you worry about consent

He said there's no obvious endpoint to do it and nobody screamed "how about when every fucker's vaccinated! ".

Woah whoah woah. I said with his mates

Aye, you're right will do. Got a week in the lakes to look forward to in a couple of weeks. I just feel.so knackered, mentally,.it's unreal.

I don’t drink bottled water

Love this place though. Alex.will be asking for a aquarelle go shortly.

Nicked plenty though?

I was in Boots at Kingston Park yesterday when this fucking scruffy charver sat waiting for a prescription pipes up "Heeyah mate. Is there anywhere roond heeyah I can buy like music CDs and that". I didn't realise at first that he didn't have a mask on, I was so taken aback by his aggressive questioning. Anyway, the answer was Tesco if anyone's ever round that way and has the same question. He then wanted to know where the fucking giant Tesco with its own fucking postcode was located.

My mate & his missus are in Corfu...he's a self employed plasterer who usually works 6 days a week...more chance of him flying to the moon on fuckin Shergar than isolating when he gets back

The UK testing system/track & trace was devised for a country with no vaccine. In its present form & with the apparent plans to open up 2 weeks today it needs to be ditched. Don't know what medics would say about cutting back on testing, obviously if people test positive they isolate but maybe ditch close contact isolation unless you have symptoms?.... as KD says its out there but there's a determination from government to make lowered restrictions work.. they're setting the public up to take the blame for what happens next in any case... I expect if they had to get the tube to work with the plebs they'd think differently...

The 3rd spike is well and truly here to stay. I've got a number of work colleagues with COVID and many more having to work from home as their kids are isolating. And that's before we open up pubs, clubs, gigs and stadiums with no social distancing and masks. I imagine there will be carnage right around the time the schools are due to go back

A blatant social outcast speaks

made all the more tragic by the fact that they were hardly particularly generous in the first place.

So he’s having a go at Newcastle fans who are discussing the tweet of a guy that’s involved with the consortium that’s trying to buy Newcastle, with the tweet itself being about the ongoing legal case regarding Newcastle and the takeover. He genuinely doesn’t understand how that would be newsworthy for Newcastle United fans? What a sanctimonious, stuck up little prick he is. I’d say I look forward to the day he’s replaced but I don’t give a flying fuck about the Telegraph tbh, they can employ the fool if they want.

Heron Foods must have been shut that day, so no Rich Energy for the Knight.

"Listen Paddy, when yi come at the Knight, you better make sure your facts are right! Miss Stella feeling the Knight's tight grip on her as per fucking usual. Ryder and fucking out!"

Still preferable to the tin of Carling.

Seen this before, no wonder the Knight is chucking beer around watching England, he even wore his England shirt at a Newcastle United cup final!

I hear you. I’ve had moments like this and my experience during the pandemic has been far more straightforward than yours. Definitely try to get out for a beer with mates if you haven’t seen them in a while. It’s good therapy. The way we’re living now isn’t good for anybody’s mental health

He should be so lucky, says I

House!

It's evidence of the season starting, tickets to be sold, new shirts to buy and camouflaging the fact that no 1st team additions and Steven Bruce is still the manager.