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I thought this bollocks takeover had already happened. Isn’t it basically just the chuckle brothers that currently own them just rearranging the furniture so the white dog shit sniffers chill out for five minutes? My thinking is they were basically giving up some of the club they were given for nigh on nowt to this trust fund wanker, and the Uruguayan bloke that just looked clueless but happy for a day out on their comedy series. That way their paint can sniffing support can calmly go back to serenely licking the crumbs from their Morrison’s brand Wotsits packets as they are fooled into thinking something has changed and they’ll think fucking rights wey’ll be back in the PL and can go back to circling the drain like the good old days. Meanwhile the two useless carpet bagging ball bags will still be in charge and abusing mid level club staff while listening to 90’s Ibiza classics. The only thing that would make this delightful saga even better is if they hadn’t pretended they were giving the club to a pair of dim cunts who just happen to be the offspring of successful people, and had instead at least pretended to give the club to William Storey.

"....And now a letter from a Mr Average NUFC fan. He writes, 'Dear BBC'....Ooh, very formal, Mr Average NUFC fan.... 'I think Steve Bruce is doing a great job and I for one wish him all the very best.'....So far so good, Mr NUFC Fan, we're getting the praise, sir..... 'But I also hope he dies as well'....Well I didn't see that coming."

Methven was electric in that Netflix series btw. The way he just breezed into an office that literally looked like a company currently being liquidated, and assumed the middle aged lass probably making barely more than she would make counting the inventory at Iceland should have the motivation towards her job equal to that of a coked up Lehman Brothers banker in the 1980’s. Then to compound this magical disaster of a relationship it turns out for all his arrogance and bluster all of his ideas are complete and utter dog shit, while he shrugs each tragic idea off with a “just throwing it out there” half arsed attitude. This is why we need William Storey, imagine him coming in on the next season bringing a level of arrogance and delusion that Methven could only dream of.

Fuck if anyone's actually gonna use that let me know and I'll spend more than 3 minutes on it. Use of that logo is conditional though, I politely request you donate at least 5 pence to any given charity (your own beer fund is fine by me) just so we can safely say that Fish Energy has generated more cash than Gimli's weird bathtub concoction.

I don't do facebook or twitter or owt like that, but I desperately hope bruce has got wind of the fact I'd love to see him and ashley fall simultaneously, jugular first in to a skip full of razor wire . far from it being obscene it would be quite comfortably the funniest thing that's happened in the last 12 months or so. I appreciate I probably need help!

Netflix missed a trick not getting you to narrate the series.

From Methven to Methhead.

Is this not going to be the week when Joelinton can rightly say he is getting the hang of this football lark?

This all reeks of the shit encrusted hand of Keith Bishop iyam

Howay's always at his best discussing all things Sunderland.

On that like Brucey on a steak bake, cheers

*The board are discussing the pre match music for the upcoming season & eccentric owner William Storey has an interesting contribution* ”do people really have to wash their hair? Like do they have to!? Is it not just a conspiracy like that Covid my Nan died of?”

Ooof. Shots fired

Bruce said that Joelinton wasn’t a striker the other week so expect him to be thrust in there.

Baked beans... fuck off... Don't know where he got this from but James O'Brien said this morning that out of all hospital admissions due to covid in the last 12 months one third were in the calender month of January 2021 Thats what you get when you have a prime minister who doesn't like to give out bad news

It's got to be Gayle for me, even though I don't think he's good enough he's much more likely to score than Joelinton or Carroll. It's a fucking good job we beat Everton and Southampton or I would be extremely worried now.

I guess we're on to verse three of Stan.

CT posts where he’s spectacularly wrong are meat and drink to Sinn Find. I challenge @ewerk to find one of his posts where he gets it right. You have one month, should you choose to accept this mission.

Larry Flynt, 78. The shed flag is at half-mast. ( fnarr etc). I will be having burgers for tea in memoriam.

I can’t find any evidence but I’m 99% sure that Pardew insinuated that fans were trying to ram him off the road to his death?

Bozzos, the prawn is still with us but she's no longer a prawn, it's just Larry that's stiff!

He does the woe-is-me bit at every club he ruins.

Yes, but you have to keep in mind that he is a nice son from a nice family. People who are sending death threats can fuck off though, regardless of their age.

@The Fish getting blatantly pod-cuckolded here.

Don’t be like that Scotty, it’s the only time old Larry could be twice as stiff as everyone else! My only problem with Larry is whenever his name comes up I remember how much of a prawn Courtney Love is (was).

Put these up your none existent social media pipe you fat cunt

They're 8pts off 17th on 15pts, they've won 2 times this season, their points per games is 0.68. If Burnley and Newcastle keep roughly the same PpG(1.08), they'll end up on 39 and 41points respectively. For Fulham to get to 39 points, they need 24pts from 16 games, which is 1.5PpG. More than double what they've managed so far. It's a win every 2 games. If Newcastle and Burnley lose the next 10 games in a row, to catch us Fulham would still need to significantly improve their return to about a point a game just to catch us.

PRS. FFS, more like. You’ll be playing pentatonic solos in a pub blues band and talking about “proper music” once lockdown is done

The Besnard Lakes have released a new album, first in five or six years.

Did you know old Larry had a penile implant after he was shot and became a paraplegic? Let's hope someone at least raised the mask for old boy one last time!

He’s right more often than Gemmill tbh

Sometimes I eat in my sleep.

I did not enjoy Page 648. #BeKind

INTRO TO SUNLUN’ TIL I DIE SEASON 3 “Growing up in the billionaires playgrounds of the French Riviera and Switzerland, Kyril always felt drawn to the litter-strewn estates of the shit-hole of the North- he felt a kinship with the attic-dwelling mutants, and knew one day that his ultimate MLF dream of owning their tinpot club would become a reality.… … once they’d been ruined by the dodgy insurance salesman, he’d be able to buy them for loose change and fulfil their true potential of giving him a manageable loss on his investment within five years, but invaluable experience for his true dream when he eventually bid for his Dad’s old club. If their management carousel managed to lift them to the heady heights of the arse-end of the Championship, he may even consider keeping them on his portfolio as a feeder club to his beloved OM. For now, he’d be happy if he could stop their feral followers from shitting in the stands once they were allowed back in.“

Aye, they deny it while calling our lot deluded but the fans literally expecting promotion as they assume they’re still a PL side on a temporary stop is a real issue for them. Any draw or loss receives a massive backlash as they still haven’t got it through their thick skulls that this is their level now.

There was plenty of tattoo parlours and fried chicken shops too, the last time I was there.

Where next? Let’s take a look at the cultural delights of Sunderland 😮 Why not go to Kwik-Fit and get your tyres changed!? After that...get some scran at one of the towns 450 Greggs! If you can’t make it to Tynemouth, why not try Roker Beach! Then sample some real culture at the Glass centre! An entire centre made of glass. Buy yourself a new vape at the bridges shopping centre. Where else would a billionaire playboy want to be? Nice one Sunderland. Nice one

Wilson out for the next 6-8 weeks. Is lal Dwight going to get a chance or are we going to watch “the turning fridge” aka Joelinton fall over his own feet until we are soundly relegated? Personally I’d like to see some tactical innovation by Bruce, play Miggy as a false 9 with ASM & Fraser either side but you know, it won’t happen so...

Actually I do have to give him credit for this one:

Errr......there might be a reason he's struggled to score against Sunderland? Just can't put my finger on it?

He's a fuckin card this lad

'Scare-mongering'

Imagine trusting this shower of cunts If you can't pick out Farage, Johnson, Gove and Rees Mogg as deceitful bullshitting wankers you've failed at life. Am not sure the majority of people who voted for brexit put that much thought into it tbh but if you're a fisherman who is now suffering from buyers regret i don't have a great deal of sympathy for you.

I wondered why I hadn’t heard any new stuff of his in a while… …loved his version of Sofa No.1 by Zappa