Leaderboard

'found them in my hood' Were they in Tynemouth all along, MC Rents?

I was so happy being protected yesterday I went skipping down Jesmond Dene in celebration. Slipped on black ice and went arse over tit, banged my head and was mildly concussed. Nearly broke my neck, was thinking it would be quite an ironic way to die. Waking up this morning I'm aching all over and have mild whiplash in my neck. Life is an absolute shit show at the minute. 🤬

Aye, I go for walks at lunchtime sometimes. I wasn't skipping but the rest is true. Although it happened on the busiest part of the dene, the concave bridge in front of the waterfall, so I had the added indignity of crowds of people watching it happen, watching a concussed me slip again trying to get up, then scrambling on hand and knees to find my Galaxy earbuds. Theyve got a detection system where they chirp using your phone, handy when at the back of the sofa, bot all use next to a water fall! Anyway, I had to give up (£150 wasted), but found them in my hood when I got back fortunately. I can see the funny side fortunately. After I got up whilst recovering I witnessed 2 other people fall at the exit same spot, its fucking lethal.

The fucking cheek! You need a robot to do the hoovering. If you have any side effects, you'll be drawing up a will.

I heard fewer complaints from PL when he had the fucking virus. The vaccinated need to pipe the fuck down. "Uh the vaccine that will protect me from dying has left me with a sore arm."

Reminds me of going on a night out when I was 17. All the lads were out and we were on our way up to the gate and I went arse over tit on some ice & proper slammed off the floor face first. Because it was the early 2000s and I was a kid I had a pocket full of change, so when I hit the deck it scattered for a fucking mile. I was skint enough to have to pick it up. Punchline is my jeans had separated at the seams....so I had to go home. The first thing I heard after the coins had scattered was... ”hya is that yer new break dance like!?”

TORY MP DOESN’T HOLD BACK....

Are they down yet? ... fuckin half job if not Have you soiled any of their family members?..

You’ll all thank me for this...it’s a whole world of madness... They live not far from my in laws at Wimborne...I used to work with Robert’s cousin, Dickie Tripp

If it makes anyone feel any better I've had a gammy knee for a good fortnight after trying to take the recycling out pissed when the roads were like an ice rink. Miraculously didnae break any of the glass, muscle memory must've kicked in.

A few weeks back I wasn’t overly concerned as even though we were shite we were picking up points, the teams below were really struggling too. The worry was when you’re playing crap football and getting goals from very few chances that you’ll go through a period where you’re not getting those goals, it seems like those goals have dried up and now with Bruce essentially rounding on the players by branding them frigging hopeless, and shite, I can only see the situation getting worse. Basically we were bad enough when he was seemingly getting some effort out of them, without them on side we’re fucked. If Ashley and Charnley want the club in the PL they need to act decisively imo, we’ve strayed into that period of time similar to when McLaren was pretending he was a football manager where they risk keeping him on long enough to really fuck over the bloke that comes in to clean up the mess. I’ve absolutely no faith in them to remove him though, and expect them to stick with him until it’s way too late. We’re completely reliant on 3 teams being worse than us at this point as we’re a fucking dreadful team with this pudding faced wank in charge.

I can picture you screaming at anyone that came to help. "GET AWAY! GET AWAY! I'M VACCINATED OK, I'M SPECIAL, JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!" (to be read in the voice of Neil Hunt, Nonsense Potter from Athletico Mince)

They’ve only gone and done it, Jeff! Nepali climbers make history with winter summit of K2 mountain https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-55684149

She still seems very energetic. Hope he's got a decent supply of kamagra?

It was the wrong team but he still waited to the 74th minute to make his first change.

I might be doing her a disservice but significantly older than her tits I would say

There's no evidence either way. It seems highly likely that transmission will be significantly reduced though.

Fripp constantly making eye contact “don’t look don’t look don’t look”

love Robert Fripp. I’ve decided I like Toyah as well now

Make sure you let Mrs G know about side effects when she gets hers mate

The bloke’s a fucking disgrace, without any real fan pressure he’s basically turned on the players. I’m sure we’ll see a big response from them after having that old piss head ramble about them. Fully expect to see a comfortable 3-0 to Arsenal on Monday night, with our lot barely stepping into the Arsenal half.

Aye but if you ever wanted an insight into the sort of man he is then that’s the only article you’ll need to read.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-55676037 The troubling thing for me isn’t him basically getting away with it. It’s him and people like him consistently being given such a prominent voice in the media.

Maybe he'll accept some damaged cans of Rich Energy instead of cash?

He's quickly leaving Pardew behind in the "God, I hate this cunt" stakes, and that's one hell of an achievement.

I know we've all said he's been stealing a living, but I didn't expect him to outright admit he hasn't actually bothered to do his job yet.

Do you take the gloves off to keep them clean before you pick yourself up and dust yourself down? Or are the gloves to keep your hands clean when doing that?

But you'll only be 50% gay until you get a second jab.

To answer PL 1) Don’t know 2) Don’t know I nipped up to check on newly vaccinated Ma Fist this afternoon, since it’s my late brother’s birthday today, and to check a 2 day old leak she’d only told me about this morning. The leak wasn’t too bad, dripping slowly from the ceiling/wall joint of her downstairs loo- she’d rang the council who’d booked a call out to fix it this coming Tuesday… …then I thought “ Hang on, the fusebox is on the other side of this wall…” Looked in the utility cupboard to find water tracking down the mains supply to the upstairs, through the fusebox, dripping out of it and tracking down the earth cable. Emergency plumber and sparky turned out within an hour and a half of me calling them, and all fixed and shipshape. Total cost to Ma Fist- £ Fuck All God bless socialism.

Nerds unite! 🤓

I heard if you get concussed in the three weeks after you get the vaccine, it dramatically reduces the efficacy. Bad luck Bambi, you've fucked it.

62 according to tinterwebs. Grab a Gran

Aye, they’ve been together for years haven’t they?

Out of interest, did they ask you if you'd had covid-19 and did they say anything when you said you had? I'm wondering if they're taken the chance to research if it makes a difference.

Can’t get over the lunacy of these latest quotes. No wonder our players look beaten from kick off with this defeatist, serial failure saying shit like this.

I loved the story anyway

Lewis is available I believe.The Saint possibly fit to make the bench.BUJ will be eager to answer his critics. 4 nowt comfortable home win.Could be more if Lewis starts.Bring it on !!!

At least we know now who’s going to replace him.

I’m still a bit rough today tbh. Arm is getting there though. Can’t WAIT for the second one, fucking hell

Aye, I don’t think he believes most of the stuff he writes. That stag do article is probably the closest he gets to sincerity in print and even then he’s in denial

Heard Mark Keds had passed so I've had a few Senseless Things albums back in rotation. Pure 90s nostalgia but with decent lyrics. https://youtu.be/yLEYzPBvsoQ

This is his last throw of the dice....if Charnleys not actively looking for a replacement were very likely down..

11 games, 1 goal, £20m. That’s Sunderland’s life in the Premier League in a nutshell.

Absolutely cannot wait to see which player gets deliberately sent off on Monday

Am Pfizered up 😎

Blanket border restrictions announced - 10 months too fucking late.

Don’t worry, it’s getting better now as the gloves are off snd things will be done Brucey’s way now. What has the buffoon done the last 18 months? (Apart from writing books)

What a bunch of knackers, such a weird fucking fan base.