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so don't you think it had anything at all to do with benitez having some self respect? you know... wanting to make his own decisions on which players were bought and sold to suit a system, fielding the players he wanted to, showing a modicum of ambition, upgrading the training facilities beyond those from the dark ages, not having it regarded as a negative that he engaged with the support, standing up to two absolute fucking know nowts with the footballing brains of a dead slug .... those sort of things? regardless of whether or not you're happy with bruce, you'd better get used to his ilk matey boy, because the fat lad won't be employing anybody like benitez again.

This is fucking heartbreaking, I know a lot about this subject and some of the stories in my local area are awful, its 2020 and kids are living in homes where familys choose beer over kids food, these meals are the only food they get, to vote against this is truly one of the worst options a sane person could choose Karma will be sharpening tools tonight

The first part of that statement isn't actually correct though, is it? Wasn't he offered a new contract at a much reduced rate which he refused and then they chose not to negotiate and withdrew all offers?

3-2 FT. Injury time Madrid goal ruled out by VAR

Selling it? Why? Then you’d have to change your username.

Looks like the yanks haven't got the memo to never mention the word 'United' after the word 'Newcastle' unlike their sky colleagues across the ocean.

Walked out on or sacked by every club he's managed I think. Quick to lecture players about loyalty though

He came, did a good job, wasn’t backed and subsequently left at the end of his contract. What an incredible turn of events. And in any case, UM’s preferred option is one of the most mercenary managers out there. Has he ever seen out a contract?

An auld dear goes to the doctor's complaining of discharge. The quack tell her to get undressed, puts the latex gloves on and starts to feel inside her vagina with his finger. "HOW DOES THIS, I SAY*, HOW DOES THIS FEEL TO YOU, MRS BOTTOMLEY?" He asks his rather deaf old patient. "It feels wonderful, Doctor, but the discharge is in my ear!" *He was from Yorkshire.

Renton’s found a pub open in the Lakes, then

Woman walks past a pet store a see's a parrot in the window next to a big sign that says "Talking Parrot. Free to a good home. NO RETURNS!" and pops inside to find out more. She asks the shop owner "why is it free?", he replies "I need to be honest with you. The last two people brought the parrot back the next day. Truth is, this bird was rescued from a brothel and its prone to say some pretty crude and offensive things". She takes a chance on the foul mouthed parrot and takes it home. First thing it says is "New House! New Madame!". The woman expected worse and laughs it off. Her daughter arrive home from school and the parrot says "New House! New Madame! New Girls!". The daughters are a bit surprised but see the funny side after mum explains the parrots background. About an hour later dad gets home from work. The kids eagerly waiting to see what the parrot says. Dad walks into the room and the parrot just says "Hi Keith!"

Shaktar were forced to play their CL game away to Real Madrid tonight despite having 10 first team players out with COVID. They are currently 3-0 up at half time

It's hardly the worst thing the Tories are doing at the minute, but doesn't the utter shitness of their patter just sum them up perfectly?

That's ncie

think either of the Longstaffs offers more defensively, and mobility wise than Shelvey, although less creatively (if you call spanking the ball into spaces where sometimes our runners go as creativity). Hayden's not bad but needs help basically. shelvey would work best as a low rent Pirlo, but would need 2 covering midfielders to do his leg work. that doesn't really fit with the system they have and also would mean one less up the pitch. anyway Bruce probably still doesn't know our best eleven.

If he'd been a teacher, he'd have been one of those desperate to be "down with the kids" ones, wouldn't he?

I doubt that even Bruce would have bought Joelinton if he had had the choice - that's how bad Joelinton is and what a complete waste of money he is.

Spencer Davis. No longer running.

This one.

Just had a look at the post in question- fucking hell! Fruity.

I like the version of that one that ends "no no, that's just frost on my moustache".

A penguin is driving to work when it’s car starts making odd noises, so Penguin drops it off at the mechanics and says it’ll be back after work to find out what’s wrong. A few hours later, Penguin waddles up to the mechanic and says, “ So, what was the trouble?” Mechanic replies, “ I think you’ve blown a seal” Penguin turns bright red and starts wiping its face.

A bloke goes to see the doctor jelly in one ear, custard & cream in the other. The Dr said "he was a trifle deaf"

Bus breaks down in the middle of the road, blocking traffic at rush hour. The driver has a look at the engine to see if there's anything he can do while waiting to get towed. A woman in her garden notices the driver struggling without any tools and shouts over "do you want a screwdriver?" "not right now love, I'm trying to fix the bus"

Boris is Steve Bruce

joelinton is the strangest transfer ever. in what universe was he worth that money? were there any other clubs rumoured to splash £40m on such a young player, with so little in the way of stats to support such an investment?

can't i be you?

Y

what do you do if you see a spaceman? park in it man

Everton: "Virgil's leg" Mackems: "I'll see your Virgil's leg and raise you Shearer's knee."

Same and same for the injury list which will gradually deteriorate from him walking through the door.

Don't be bringing up one of his fucking Marvel films again, man! I'm not in the mood.

It's the passivity that gets me. Under Benitez we let the opposition play as much as they wanted in their half but as soon as they got within about 35yds of the box we were on them as a unit. Now, if there is pressure it's half-hearted headless chicken shit. For Rashford's goal, Shelvey just watched the play pass him by, didn't even jog after it. Said elsewhere but fundamentally there's 3 ways to play; defend so they don't score, keep the ball so they can't score, or score more than them. We can't defend, we sure as shit can't control a game and we're not set up toa ttack, so what the fuck are we supposed to be doing?

Not saying Liverpool fans are prone to getting carried away, but.....

I said when he was appointed that we'd have a period where defensively the team could play from memory but over time we'd look more leaky and we're definitely going to see that happening this season.

He's the worst transfer in the history of English football rubber stamped by Bruce

HE'S FUCKING GASH MAN

If the stadium wasn't empty the atmosphere would be fucking toxic, doubt even that would get him out the door though. Bruce's job is safe as long as we're not looking likely to go down. Would love a journalist to really pull him up on the bullshit excuses we're hearing after every poor performance. The're simply no reason to play as badly as we are. We've got the players, arguably the best squad we've had since relegation. He inherited a good defensive team, he's got good attacking players in Wilson, ASM, Almiron, Fraser and yes, even Joelinton. I might be missing something, but it seems pretty straightforward to me. 4 at the back with Hayden ahead of him, no Shelvey, 5 from the other options.

Every manager going buys some shit. There’s a lot less risk involved when you’re given the funds to buy tried and tested rather than having to take a punt on young and unproven players though. Benitez managed to improve most of the players who played under him though. Look at the money we got for Perez for example. Not just him though, Lascelles was being touted for silly money. He’s probably worth about 20% of what he was when Bruce inherited him. It says a lot about Bruce that he can’t even drill his defence well. That said, I reckon we’ll be ok again when you look at some of the sides in the division. He epitomises the Ashley era though, short-term, no real plan, no obvious playing style, just about make do and get another season’s worth of tv money.

Self catering, hactually. I don’t like to mix with the proletariat

don’t you just switch off the TV set and do something less boring instead?

They have everything for young men to enjoy You can take the Fulwell with all the boys