Leaderboard

Don't be bringing up one of his fucking Marvel films again, man! I'm not in the mood.

Rafa was also given what? About 6.50 compared to the ridiculous amount of money the club has spent since they ushered him to the door. Being sensible, you can only buy what you can with the budget you are given.

It’s because the infection rate is Dublin. I thangew.

This one.

A bloke goes to see the doctor jelly in one ear, custard & cream in the other. The Dr said "he was a trifle deaf"

Y

HE'S FUCKING GASH MAN

For @Meenzer, here’s former Basil Brush sideman Roy North doing his interpretation of Tenpole Tudor’s masterpiece. Mint.

Every manager going buys some shit. There’s a lot less risk involved when you’re given the funds to buy tried and tested rather than having to take a punt on young and unproven players though. Benitez managed to improve most of the players who played under him though. Look at the money we got for Perez for example. Not just him though, Lascelles was being touted for silly money. He’s probably worth about 20% of what he was when Bruce inherited him. It says a lot about Bruce that he can’t even drill his defence well. That said, I reckon we’ll be ok again when you look at some of the sides in the division. He epitomises the Ashley era though, short-term, no real plan, no obvious playing style, just about make do and get another season’s worth of tv money.

My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach”

On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed.

I like the version of that one that ends "no no, that's just frost on my moustache".

I walked in on the Mrs. banging her personal trainer last night. I said “ I’m leaving, this just isn’t working out”

With Benitez there was a given that if he is allowed to run things he would improve a team tactically/ physically,/ mentally. if he'd have been given £40m, or whatever last seasons budget was, we would have had a better team I have no doubt, than we currently do, or at the very least a team that has a direction rather than give it to St max... honestly speaking I can't believe Bruce has got so many Jobs, he's a shambles.

Same and same for the injury list which will gradually deteriorate from him walking through the door.

This is what the internet is for.

Joelinton is the worst transfer the club as ever made - and that’s saying something.

Had to fix the mess left behind by Rafa tbf

My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before!

Yes, only fair that we should look at the whole situation.

I reckon bruce is now serving up the worst football of any manager in my time watching newcastle. bearing in mind he's had some pretty stiff competition from the likes of mcgarry, charlton, allardyce that's quite some achievement. not only that, he's managed in a relatively short space of time to at least draw level with if not even nudge ahead of the likes of dalglish, souness and pardew in the utterly dislikeable, horrible cunt stakes. remarkable, blisteringly fast progress on both counts. fuck off bruce, you fucking repulsive fat mess.

Spencer Davis. No longer running.

Woman walks past a pet store a see's a parrot in the window next to a big sign that says "Talking Parrot. Free to a good home. NO RETURNS!" and pops inside to find out more. She asks the shop owner "why is it free?", he replies "I need to be honest with you. The last two people brought the parrot back the next day. Truth is, this bird was rescued from a brothel and its prone to say some pretty crude and offensive things". She takes a chance on the foul mouthed parrot and takes it home. First thing it says is "New House! New Madame!". The woman expected worse and laughs it off. Her daughter arrive home from school and the parrot says "New House! New Madame! New Girls!". The daughters are a bit surprised but see the funny side after mum explains the parrots background. About an hour later dad gets home from work. The kids eagerly waiting to see what the parrot says. Dad walks into the room and the parrot just says "Hi Keith!"

Re-FYP.

you'd have to pay most people to watch that fixture tbh - fans and neutrals alike

Boris is Steve Bruce

Hendrick scored a cracking goal in the opener but has been anonymous since. He's the Colback replacement and Colback didn't play on the wing either. Another baffling decision from the Fat Pardew. Having such a pedestrian player on the opposite wing just focuses the defence on ASM even further. Almiron would have a field day with the gaps left by a defence struggling to contain both ASM and Wilson's movement. It's obvious to everyone except the manager, I suppose. And the less said about Joelinton, who Bruce has clearly been told to select, the better. I can't find a lot of blame for Bruce in my heart. He's never professed to be anything but the dinosaur he is. We knew exactly what we were getting and, well, we've got it.

can't i be you?

An oddity of Ashley's reign is that he'll bin off a competent manager that the fans support, but who he won't, for an incompetent manager that the fans don't support but he will. McClaren was shit, but was backed with signings like Wijnaldum, Mbemba, Mitrovic. Bruce gets ASM, Wilson, Joelinton. Give Benitez control and he'll have got us comfortably midtable every season, maybe once the squad was deeper he'd have been a bit more interested in the cups as well. He wouldn't have signed Joelinton, and while he would likely not have signed Saint Maximin the team, as a whole, would be better off. We must have the worst manager in the league, I doubt any would have Bruce as first choice, not even Fulham and West Brom and i'm not convinced we'd be much worse off (performance-wise) with Parker or Bilic...

Best thing I've watched this year, I reckon.

Not saying Liverpool fans are prone to getting carried away, but.....

I said when he was appointed that we'd have a period where defensively the team could play from memory but over time we'd look more leaky and we're definitely going to see that happening this season.

....do birds, suddenly appear, every time, you are near? Just like the seaburn casuals, they long to be, close to you.

Off topic but related to the above, what i find most incredible about the US and also the UK is how the evangelicals can support Trump and Johnson. These people are clearly utterly immoral at a personal level, its mind boggling they can turn a blind eye to this.

The only bit in the middle Brewcey is interested in is the bacon in his sandwich, fat cabbage headed twat.

Yeah but we played bad football under Rafa sometimes.

Well played to those who did

don’t you just switch off the TV set and do something less boring instead?

do birds sing so gay?

"Nurse! Quick! He's having one of his funny turns again!"

Sucked his cock too.

Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew.