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Speaking of which....

Fuck off to the Politics thread you boring sods

“THIS IS NOT THE NEW NORMAL!!!!!!!!!” is up there as my most hated phrase. It is until there’s a vaccine, shitlips so get your mask on, be slightly inconvenienced in Aldi and stop being a cunt.

safe blud, safe

A virtually empty Cornish beach @ Portreath ....... not an infant or teenager in sight

You can’t be going around blaming young lads for taking their chance to shag some Icelandic tarts ffs. The game is on its arse

One day we’re going to find that the Joelinton transfer was money laundering or something.

I’m still not giving Ashley any credit for this btw. We only signed 3 loans in January, all of which have left now. So we’ve spent £35mil across 2 transfer windows. Half that if you include the £17mil we got for nowt off PIF. I reckon the club is still in the black and Ashley hasn’t added a penny

I mean, the tongue has a habit of sticking to freezing surfaces. This could have hilarious consequences.

2 good signings. Twitter is milking it for all it’s worth like, you think we’d signed Messi and Mbappe Hope it doesn’t bite us on the arse!

35? More like Granny Graham, amirite?

Fuck's sake. I tripped and grazed my leg on Saturday while on a hike that I wouldn't have been on if the government hadn't imposed quarantines that prompted me to cancel my foreign travel plans, so Matt Hancock owes me some antiseptic, a couple of plasters and a tabloid photoshoot. Is that how it works?

Echo...Echo....Echo...Echo

They’ll keep happening here more and more since more and more selfish, ignorant, Facebook-informed cunts seem to think not wearing a mask is some sort of freedom-fighting civic duty.

Socialism carried out by a bunch of people who don't believe in it, are woefully incompetent anyway, and who have literally no plan or intention of moving towards a sustainable outcome. It's basically as if some twat coked up and let loose with the family credit cards, overpaying for things, and buying things he doesn't need - and when the rush passes, he'll be left penniless and in debt with no better option than to make his family even worse off than they were before in order to pay everything back. It's not socialism, it's just incompetence.

Still not as good as this punch.....

'The road to Wembley pull out in the evening chronicle tomorrow starts off with a preview of Blackburn Rovers at home and a date with former Magpie starlet and young Geordie, Adam Armstrong with the incentive of a trip to play a certain Joseph Barton once of the parish of the cathedral on the hill and wearer of THAT tache when he scored against Aston Villa in the revenge 6-0 dribbling following the relegation 'Sob on the Tyne' - Gate. Also read what former NUFC and Blackburn striker Louis Saha makes of the tie.'

Ernest Borgnine btw.

“ In case of emergency; 1. Remain seated on your fat arse. 2. Scream. 3. Do not put on a Lifejacket, it’s what Big Gubmint wants you to do.

You’ve got the right Danny Graham mate, it’s that’s what made me smile, he’s only gone and signed for a club famous for hiring paedophiles.

They’ve signed 35 year old Danny Graham

I wonder how many people, in England, have been caught and subsequently fined for failing to self isolate after returning from one of the growing list of destinations where you need to do so. I can take a wild guess

Daughter: 'You'll be dead soon, mum. And I'll be fucked if I'm paying for your funeral' Mum: *smiles gormlessly*

Eighty people have been arrested for Eileen's fall the article says. Let's hope they get proper justice. Throw away the keys.

The last photo, man. Like a sunlife assurance advert.

The voices in your head.

Aye and Carroll should have been away if not for that bizarre extension he got (I assume he was cheap). I reckon we need another striker, even on loan, on top of Wilson. A version of Carroll who doesn’t concede a foul by elbowing centre halves in the chin every time he jumps would help.

We all knew it was shite, but Johnson literally won the election on his oven ready deal. It's ironic that Brexiteers rail on about sovereignty and democracy. For the first point, Brexit proves we are sovereign. Are they seriously suggesting EU countries like Germany aren't? As for democracy, what is that worth when its based on countless lies? It's worth less than nothing imo, I'd rather have the reality of a dictatorship than the pretence of democracy these cunts have reduced us to.

In hindsight, it might have been foolish to expect an "oven-ready" deal from someone you know has never actually lifted a finger to cook a meal in his life.

Because there is zero evidence for it from a virological pov. Plus why? China were already doing very well, matter of time before they become the predominant national power. And why would they release it on their own population? Even in China, shake your head and consider how many people would need to be in on this. And none of the whistleblowers alluded to deliberate release. You're close to the rabbit hole.

Hi guys. Thought I'd venture over from the red side of North London. I have a couple of questions as I was intrigued. First question Is how reliable is scottwilson from the Echo? I remember in July he said we want ASM and would test Newcastles resolve with a bid. Second one is... Obviously with you's signing Fraser and Lewis for that left hand side and Wilson up top for around £35-40M it did have me wondering. Especially during a Covid hit season, is it feasible that Ashley spends 40M or so net in this type of transfer window? I was thinking MAYBE this is set up for Saint Max to move? I've been to St James Park. Hope you get back to the top soon, best stadium and city ive been to hands down. Deserves european football!

There's a video of the Maga's getting an unexpected wash somewhere. I'll have a look. Here it is.

See what you did there

It's been christened 'Dumbkirk' so I see.

I like that the bloke is writing a letter about being civilized while calling someone a rich arsehole, and a cunt twice all for taking up two spaces . I’ve no doubt Carroll probably is a bit of a nob but that wanker with his stupid pun named restaurant seems more of a bellend here.

All the Trump dipshits have turned up at a lake for another of their pro-Trump boat parades. Anyway they've blared about creating massive wakes and a number of boats are in distress and some have sunk altogether. Obviously they are claiming online that Antifa terrorists have sunk their boat. Presumably Antifa has a submarine division.

Good spot. I’m afraid to admit my eye was drawn to the banana hammock

Official attendance: 30,536

Don’t fucking tempt fate, man

In hindsight, the idea that Fop was a North Korean agent who learned how to speak English on internet forums makes a lot of sense

Well, at least it's a form of planning Still, since they're so keen to tell liberal lefties that they should be letting refugees live in their houses, I'm sure Brexit voters will be rushing to let their gardens be turned into lorry parks. It's what they voted for, right?

Where’s it set?